Page 48 of Wait for the Dream

The sound of the bathroom door opening startles me out of my thoughts. I sit up in bed, and take in Bailey’s beautiful curves wrapped in a towel, her skin still damp from the shower. Drops of water from her soaking wet hair dripping down below the towel. Bailey chuckles at me and my eyes snap to hers, and she just raises an eye brow at me.

“Stop looking at me like that, you know we can’t do anything until after I’m cleared, and if you keep staring at me like that I might consider breaking the rules.” She laughs and shakes her head at me. I’m not the only one struggling with the fact that we can’t have sex. I’ve caught her looking at me with heat in her eyes more times than I can count, and a few times we will be laying in bed spooning, and she will grind her ass against my dick, and I died a little inside every time I had to stop her. I knew what she wanted, but I wasn’t willing to risk her health for a little naked fun.

“I can’t help it that you’re the sexiest woman on the planet, and you’re standing in my bedroom in nothing but a towel. I only have so much control, Blue. This is my every teenage fantasy coming to life.” I try to hold in the smile, but it’s no use because she laughs too. “I’m going to go shower, so we can head to your appointment. You ready to bring our girl home?”

The smile that overtakes her face is brighter than the morning sun, “I’m so fucking ready. I can’t believe it’s finally time. Go shower, you stink.”

I hop out of bed, choosing to ignore the comment, and head into my closet to grab clothes before I take a quick shower. When I’ve finished, I throw my clothes on, run a brush through my shaggy hair and throw some mousse in it. I make a mental note to get my hair cut before we head back up to school. When I walk back into the bedroom I don’t see Blue, so I head downstairs to the kitchen. In the kitchen, I grab a travel mug to fill with coffee, and fill my water bottle.

As I am packing a few snacks for our adventures today, Bailey calls from the living room, “Hey, I’m just pumping quick. I have ten minutes left, then we can go. Momma said she would clean my parts and put the milk away for me. I plan on bringing my portable pumps, but I’m hoping that Ro will be hungry before we leave so I can nurse her one more time with the nurses there.”

“Blue, Little Bear nurses like a champ every time. Everyone at the hospital is so proud of her and you. Neither of you need the help.” I say as I walk into the living room and sit down beside where she is pumping, and it’s true. We have been working on nursing for the last four weeks, since they started introducing the bottle. For the last four weeks, she has been weaning off tube feedings, and it honestly took longer than they thought to get her off, but she is now a champ at taking both the bottle and the boob. She doesn’t really have a preference. I guess some babies do, but my girl just wants her milk.

“I know, but I’m nervous.” Of course she is. Bailey is already the most amazing mom, and there’s not a doubt in my mind that Rowan is going to thrive at home with us, but Bailey seems to doubt every one of her abilities.

“I breast fed four babies, and you know I’ll help in any way that I can, my girl. But, I have full confidence in your ability, and I know the team that has been taking care of my grandbaby in that hospital does too.” Momma tells Bailey.

I can see her take a deep breath and relax a little bit. I reach out and squeeze her knee before grabbing her hand, lacing our fingers together, “And don’t forget, Blue. You’re never alone in this. You’re a rockstar when it comes to pumping, and I know you want to nurse, but if it ends up being easier to bottle feed her, that’s what we will do. A happy momma makes for a happy baby. We all just want what’s best for both of you.”

“Thanks guys. Okay, I am finished here, so let’s get out of here.” Bailey detaches herself from the pump, hands all the parts to momma and puts herself back together.

I lead her out of the house, it’s time to go get our girl and bring her home.

Bailey

7 weeks postpartum

Today is my ‘baby shower.’ When Rowan came over five weeks early, the whole family decided to wait to have the shower until she was home. I was too tired to try and entertain and be present for everyone in the weeks following her birth, and I thought it would be fun if she was here for her baby shower. How many kids can say that?

The moment I could get out of bed, I was practically running to the NICU to hold my little girl’s hand for the first time. She wasn’t ready to be held yet, but there are no words to describe the feeling I had the moment I looked down at my little girl for the first time in person. I had been watching her through the live feed almost constantly for those 24 hours, but when I got to look at her, touch her, and eventually hold her for the first time, it was simply incredible. Being this girl’s momma is easily the best thing I have ever done, and I will forever be grateful for her.

Rowan got to meet all her aunties and uncles in the days following me meeting her for the first time. Those six weeks in the NICU really showed me how much my chosen family has fully embraced me. They were always there. Bringing snacks or water whenever I’m pumping, holding her tiny little hand, talking to her and telling her how loved she is. Rowan and I are lucky to have the family we do.

I’m in the room putting on the new dress I bought a couple weeks ago. I had to exchange the one I got the day after Aiden kissed me because it did not flatter my postpartum body. This dress is the perfect shade of pastel pink. It has wide straps and a scoop neck line that shows just a bit of cleavage. The waistline is just under my breasts and the chiffon skirt flows down to just above my knee. It’s beautiful, and it was made for breast feeding mothers, there is a hidden zipper under the breasts that help with pulling the girls out to nurse or pump whenever you need.

Once I’m dressed, I head downstairs where our family and friends have begun gathering. Today is simply a day to get to know Rowan. Everyone here has already met her and will be spending lots of time with her throughout her life. We have set some guidelines, to keep her safe from harmful germs. Her little lungs have come a long way, but she is still growing and getting stronger each day, so keeping her healthy is very important. She will be passed around between our friends, but there isn’t a single person here that I don’t trust with my daughter’s life, and I know that all of them will keep her as safe as they can.

I step off the stairs and Aiden comes over and gives me a soft kiss before saying, “You look beautiful, Blue.”

“You don’t look so bad yourself Bear.” I tell him. He’s wearing a pair of dark blue jeans and a pink long sleeved button down that matches my dress, his sleeves rolled up to just below his elbow. His forearm porn game is on point today.

I head to say hi to everyone else, while I search for my baby. Momma volunteered to get her ready for the day, and I let her. We only have a few more weeks before classes start and I’m excited to get into a routine with classes, but I’m also freaking out because Momma won’t be at my beck and call all night long anymore. She’s been so helpful in the past week and a half since Rowan came home. Aiden and I have been switching off feeds throughout the night, so that we can both try and get some sleep, and Momma has taken Rowan from us after dinner each night and tells us to get a couple hours of sleep. It’s been so helpful, but once school starts again, we won’t have that. I’m going to end up calling her once a day with some sort of question or just to vent. I can see it now.

I find my daughter in the living room snuggled up to her Uncle Bash, with Luca on his knees on the couch next to them peering down at her. “What do you think of your new friend, Little Man?” I ask picking Luca up and sitting him on my lap.

“Bee Bee, I wub her.” He looks up at me, “She your baby?”

“She is. You guys are going to be best friends aren’t you?” I ask him.

“I be her fwiend. I pwomise.” He tells me. Luca’s vocabulary has grown a lot in the last year. He’s almost two and a half, and I swear he’s smarter than any kid I know. I guess it probably helps that he hangs out with adults most of the time, and we usually talk to him like he’s one of us.

“Thanks, my guy. I knew I could count on you.” I boop him on the nose and he giggles before hopping off my lap, running into the kitchen for what I’m sure is his millionth snack today.

“She is so beautiful, Bee.” Bash tears his gaze away from Rowan to look at me, “How are you feeling now that she’s home?”

“Honestly, other than being tired, I feel great. Obviously, I’m exhausted but I love her so much that it makes it all worth it.” I gaze down at my girl snuggled up in Sebastian’s arms as I speak.

“I know that feeling all too well. Don’t blink, Bee. It all goes too fast,” He says wistfully, “How has she been since you’ve been home?”