Page 4 of Wait for the Dream

“I’m going for a major in business and a minor in prelaw.” He sits a little higher in his seat.

“What do you want to do with that?” I ask, trying to engage in conversation.

“I want to be a sports agent. I’ll probably focus on football players since I grew up in that world, but I wouldn’t mind working with other athletes.” Honestly, that tracks. “Too bad you got hurt, you could have been my first client, Aiden.”

“The NFL was never the plan for me. I have wanted to be a lawyer for as long as I can remember.” The words are sharper than I intend, but as I sit here trying not to relive the memories of my injury, I don’t have the energy to soften my tone.

Bailey flinches, and I immediately regret everything, but she places a hand on my thigh, and squeezes it gently before asking Daniel if he wants to dance again. I sit there for a second trying to will my mind to get out of the moment, to think about anything except surgery and the long recovery after.

I excuse myself to the bathroom, and luckily it’s empty when I get in there. I stand in front of the mirror taking a few deep breaths, reminding myself that all of that is behind me, trying to bring myself back to the present. I do my best not to think about it anymore, but it makes me irritated—angry, almost—to have to relive it. I hate making Bailey upset. I inhale deeply and do my best to snap out of it. I turn to the urinal, take care of my business, and splash a bit of cold water on the back of my neck after I finish washing my hands, and head back to the table.

When I get back from the bathroom, I don’t see Bailey or Daniel anywhere. “Where did they go?” I ask the table.

Maddy grimaces, “They left. Bailey told us goodbye, said to tell you bye too, then left with him.”

I hate when this happens. There have been times in the past when Blue will leave with someone, and she always ends up calling me after for a ride home. I have to sit beside her in the car and hear her complain about whatever guy she just hooked up with. She has the worst taste in men. I mean, let’s be honest, I’m not sure I would like anyone that Bailey would date and possibly someday marry, but this is the reality of my life if I don’t ever get my head out of my own ass and finally confess my feelings. I’m a coward, too scared to ruin the most perfect friendship anyone could ask for, to say anything. Too scared that she could never feel the same way about me as I do her, so I just keep my mouth shut, and let her keep going after these asshole guys over and over again.

“And you just let her leave with that guy? We barely know him!” I say, unable to keep the frustration out of my tone. Frustrated at Bailey for leaving with that douche bag, frustrated at our friends for letting her, and most importantly, frustrated at myself for being such a coward.

“Bailey felt safe enough to leave with him, seemed like a nice enough guy. What did you want me to do? Tell her ‘no?’ I’m not her dad! Thank fucking god for that, I hate that guy,” Maddox replies. “She rode with me here, she will probably call you to pick her up tonight or tomorrow morning.”

I take a deep breath, trying to ignore the way my blood boils at the idea of her spending the night with Douchebag Daniel, as I have affectionately decided to call him.

“I’m going to head out and wait for her to call. I’ll see you guys later,” I respond. I know I’m too in my head and too irritated to stick around. I’ll just ruin everyone’s mood, so I might as well go home and brood.

“Come on A, hang out a little longer. I never get to come out, don’t leave me with these clowns!” Sebastian says. “Just because Bailey left doesn’t mean you have to.”

“Yeah, Aiden, stay,” Dallas pleads.

“If he’s going to leave, there’s a pretty blond girl over there that’s been making eyes at me all night,” Maddox says.

“I think the blond girl has been making eyes at me, the blond guy next to her, has been making eyes at you,” Chloe says.

“They’re both hot. I’ll be happy if either of them wants to take me home,” Maddox says, “Let’s go, Chlo.” Maddox gets up and walks away with Chloe.

“I guess I’m going to head out too,” Dallas says, “No use sitting here watching my sister and best friend find their next hook up. That’s weird.”

“You staying or going, Bash?” I ask him, standing up from the booth.

“I have the house to myself tonight, might as well try and find someone to help keep my bed warm,” he says, and wanders off to the bar.

I love my friends, but we couldn’t be more different when it comes to our relationships with women. I’ve never been with anyone, and my friends hook up regularly. Dallas is the only friend that doesn’t hook up, but that’s pretty new. Something is different with him this year, I just don’t know what yet.

When I get to the apartment I share with Maddy and Maggy a little bit later, I check in on Maggy. Once I see she is asleep, I head to my room. I turn the volume up all the way on my phone. I shoot Bailey a text

Me: I know you rode with Maddox tonight, let me know if you need a ride home. If you end up not needing a ride, at least text me when you get home so I know you’re safe. Have fun.

Admittedly the last part of that text was hard to type. It’s not that I don’t want her to have fun, it’s just that I prefer when she has fun with me. No matter what we are doing, I always feel better when my girl is around. I wait for her to reply or call for a ride. I stare at the ceiling knowing I won’t be getting any sleep until I hear from her.

Bailey

“Are you sure you don’t want to spend the night?” Daniel asks as I’m putting my sweater back on a couple hours after we left Bar Code.

“No, I’m good. I already texted Aiden and asked him to come get me. I’ve got some homework to work on tomorrow and a busy rest of the weekend,” I respond.

I do have a busy weekend, but I don’t actually have very much homework. If I’m being honest, the night was kind of disappointing. I met Daniel in line for coffee yesterday and he seemed like a really nice guy. He was sweet, bought my coffee (which is one hundred percent my love language), and we sat down and chatted for a few minutes. We exchanged numbers and he asked what I was doing for Halloween. I told him about my plans to hang out with my friends at Bar Code. I was a little put off when he said that Bar Code was lame, but he’d come since I was going to be there. Bar Code is not lame, it’s just not where most people want to hang out. Our little group loves the bar, and I wouldn’t want to hang out anywhere else.

While we were dancing, I really thought we would have chemistry physically, and he was still mostly sweet. When we went back to the table and were talking to everyone, I could tell that he felt some type of way about Aiden, like he was threatened by him, which is nothing new. Anytime I’ve tried to date a guy, Aiden is nothing but nice to them, but they are always threatened and weirded out by our friendship. They always try to put distance between me and Aiden, and the moment that starts I break up with them. I won’t let anyone come between me and my best friend. I’d rather be single the rest of my life than lose Aiden because some guy isn’t secure enough to realize my best friend is a guy. My vibrator is better than any guy I’ve ever been with, anyway.