Page 24 of Wait for the Dream

Pop: Bailey! That was our secret!

Maggy: I mean, I don’t actually blame you! Bailey is my favorite sibling…

“What the fuck Mags?” Aiden says out loud and looks up at me in mock horror. “You’re her favorite sibling?”

“I mean, I am pretty awesome!” I say through my laugh

Me: Bear is so offended right now! 😂

Maddy: As he should be! I shared a fucking womb with her, I should be the favorite!

Momma: CHILDREN!

Momma: This was not the point of this conversation. Bailey Girl, feel better! Listen to the doctor. Aiden, take care of our girl!

I love this family so much. They accepted me the moment I was dragged through the door by Aiden. The first four years of my life were lonely. I had no one, but the years following those were filled with laughter and noise. I finally had a family that loved me. People who wanted me for me.

There’s a soft knock on the door right before Georgie comes with a big jug of water, an apple juice box and a Styrofoam cup, “I brought you some water, juice, and ice. My suggestion would be to start with a few pieces of ice, give it a few minutes, and see how it goes, then try again. I’m going to put this barf bag close to you just in case. Do you need anything else?”

“No, I think I’m okay.” I respond with a forced smile. I tip the cup back and take a few pieces of ice in my mouth.

“Can I grab you anything, Dad?” She asks Bear.

“No, I think I’m okay. Thank you though.” He responds standing up and walking to sit down on the edge of the hospital bed and starts rubbing soft circles on my back. I lean into his touch, needing it more than I probably should. He’s always been my safe place, but right now with how shitty I feel, I need it more than normal.

“Alright, I’m gonna go check on my other patients. Click that call light if you need anything. I’ll come check on you in a bit if I don’t hear from you.”

“Thanks.” I say as I take a few more pieces of ice and she leaves the room.

Aiden

“Does it ever bother you?” I ask the question that I’ve almost asked a million times, but have always chickened out.

“Does what bother me?” Bailey asks, her voice sleepy. This isn’t the time to be trying to have a serious conversation, but I can’t hold it in anymore.

I know I’ve been avoiding her. My pride is wounded from the way she ran from me when we almost kissed the other day. It feels like I have the answer to the question that has lived rent free in my head for as long as I can remember. Bailey has always said we are best friends, and I think I should have taken each and every one of those times as her way of putting me in the friend zone. I held out hope for way too long, maybe it’s time I try and move on. Quit saving myself for a dream that is never going to come true.

“When people assume we are together? That I’m Little Bear’s dad?” I say.

“Why would that bother me?” She says, “If we are being honest, sometimes I wish—” Before she can finish her sentence, she promptly throws up into the puke bag they had given her. I guess I’ll never know what the end of that statement was. Fuck.

It’s been a few days since the trip to the hospital. The first med the doctor tried didn’t work for her, neither did the second, but a few hours after the first doctor tried this other medication that actually worked, Blue was able to keep juice and crackers down. She had never been so happy to drink apple juice or eat a cracker in her life. After waiting an hour to make sure she kept something down I was finally able to take her home with the oral version of the medication.

I walk into the apartment and Blue is standing with her back to me, she has her headphones in her ear and she’s dancing to whatever music she’s listening to. If I had to take a guess, she’s listening to BTS’ 'Love Yourself: Answer’ album. It looks like she’s preparing dinner. She must have gotten a burst of energy. The nausea meds they have her on sometimes make her a bit sleepy, so she’s been napping more recently. I’m glad she’s up.

I stand in the entrance into the apartment, she hasn’t noticed me yet, so I just watch her. She’s looking like my own personal wet dream with one of my high school football tees on and a pair of short pajama shorts. The t-shirt has my last name, and the number eighteen, the same number I’d used from the moment I started playing football in kindergarten. Blue’s birthday is January 8, so of course I had to use her birthday as my jersey number.

The sight of my last name has my cock thickening in my pants, and I adjust myself to try and hide the evidence of what she’s doing to me. I know I said I was going to get over her, but it’s not going to happen overnight. I can’t just turn off the feelings I’ve been hanging onto for seventeen years in a matter of days. It’s going to be a process.

When she turns around to grab the box of noodles she had placed on the island behind her and sees me, she startles, but recovers quickly, giving me the biggest smile. She is so fucking beautiful.

“Hello Blue, how are you feeling?” I ask her as she takes her headphones out.

“I actually feel pretty good. I’m making your favorite tonight” She says as she turns back around to the stove to put the noodles in the pot of what I believe is boiling water.

“That’s amazing, Dr. Richards did say the nausea might come and go, and might just disappear one day. I’m going to cross my fingers that you’ll start to feel better permanently.” I walk into the kitchen and stick my finger in the alfredo sauce I know she made from scratch. I groan as the rich cream sauce hits my tongue. “Oh my god, I swear this gets better every time you make it.”

“You say that every time, Bear. I literally don’t change anything, ever. Your mom taught me how to make it when we were 12, and I’ve been making it ever since exactly how she makes it. You’re crazy.” She says, her voice all teasing. God, it’s so good to see her feeling better. Her smiles are coming more freely right now than they have been recently.