Page 12 of Wait for the Dream

“Bailey, we love you more than life, honey, I’m so sorry you’ve had such a hard time recently, but we will do everything in our power to get you through this.” I didn’t even know Pop was on the phone too until he spoke.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean for any of this to happen, I don’t want to be a burden on you guys.” Bailey says through her sobs.

“Bailey Nicole Michaels, you are not a burden. Hear me when I say this, you are not a burden to anyone, we want to help you. We want to do this. This is our choice.” Momma is using her stern, mom voice.

“Okay. Thank you so much. You guys have always loved me and taken care of me. I will never be able to repay you for all you’ve done and continue to do for me.” I pull her impossibly closer to me, and press a kiss to the top of her head. Her sobs die down with the wave of relief that seems to run through her.

“There is nothing to repay. This is what you do for family, this is how a parent should love. You’re just as much mine as Aiden, Maddox, Magnolia, and Charlotte are. You’ve always been my fifth child, and you always will be,” Pop says.

“I have an idea I want to run by you guys before we hang up.” I say. I’ve had this idea running through my head since the conversation with Douchebag Daniel a couple days ago. “I was wondering what you guys would think about moving the twins into Bailey’s two bedroom apartment, and Bailey will move into our apartment. She can have Maggy’s room since it has the attached bathroom, I’ll stay in my room, then we can turn Maddy’s room into a nursery for Little Bear.”

“Little Bear? That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.” My mom gushes over the nickname I came up with for the baby.

“Lizzy, focus. I do think that’s a good idea. Why don’t we talk logistics when you guys come home for the holiday break in a couple weeks. Maybe we can all head that way a week before classes start for the semester to do the rearranging. I’ll talk to the twins about everything. Aiden, I want you to stay with Bailey for the next couple of weeks. I don’t want her alone in that apartment in case something happens.” My Pop, ever the protector, ever the worrier. I’m a lot like him in that way.

“Already planned on it, Pop.” I respond.

“I’m pregnant, not helpless.” Blue says, while I’m overprotective, she’s independent. Quite the pair we make.

“We know that Bailey Girl, but anything could happen, and we just want to make sure you’re not alone if the worst happens.” My mom reassures her. “Well, we have a lot to figure out, but it won’t happen overnight. How far along are you Bailey? When is your first appointment?”

“I’m guessing I’m like 7 and a half weeks. And tomorrow. Aiden is coming with me.” Bailey says. She absentmindedly rubs her belly.

“Good, if you have an ultrasound, I expect to see pictures of the little gummy bear. That baby is already so loved, Bailey Girl. Don’t let the three negative people determine how you feel about this baby. We all love that baby enough for the whole world. That will never change sweet girl.” Momma has a way of saying the exact right thing.

“Thank you guys so much.” Bailey is crying again. I hate it. I’ve known this girl my whole life, she has cried on my shoulder countless times, and I still am not used to the feeling of helplessness that comes every time it happens. I just want to be able to fix it, make everything better, and make sure she never cries again.

“We love you so much sweetheart, never forget that.” I say pulling her into a tight hug.

“We will let you go. Try and enjoy the rest of your day. Get some rest Bailey Girl. You need all you can get.”

“We love you guys so much! We will send pictures tomorrow, let us know if there is anything you need from us.” I say.

“We will. We love you guys too.” Momma responds before hanging up the call.

“I told you there was nothing to worry about. I knew my parents would handle it.” I say as I place the phone back onto the table, “now, what do you want for lunch? I say we order in, and then veg on the couch for the rest of the day. I know we both have some homework to get done before tomorrow.”

“I don’t really care what we get as long as I can have french fries as a side.” Bailey says as she crawls off my lap. “I’m going to run to the bathroom. I’m sure I look a little crazy after crying for so long.”

“You always look beautiful, Blue.” I say as she’s walking toward her room. She peaks over her shoulder and rewards me with one of her shy smiles. Bailey has never been good at taking compliments, and I’m not sure she fully believes me, no matter how many times I’ve told her she’s beautiful.

We arrive at her doctor’s office the next morning, and I’m a nervous wreck. We are going to see Little Bear for the first time today. I think I’m more nervous than Blue is. I know that this baby isn’t mine, but every part of me wishes it were. Douchebag Daniel wants nothing to do with this baby, so I want to claim it as mine.

I’ve always secretly thought of Blue as mine, but she doesn’t see me as anything other than her best friend. Us living together with no one else around will make it hard to keep my hands and thoughts to myself. We may spend more time together than the typical “platonic” best friends, but we haven’t lived together since high school, and even then she didn’t technically live with us. The most amount of time without a break she spent at our house at one time was two weeks when her parents were on vacation or on a business trip. The last thing her or the baby needs is more stress, so I’m going to do my best to set any feelings that are anything more than friendly aside and be the best best friend/roommate a pregnant woman could ask for.

I head to take a seat in one of the chairs while Bailey goes to check in at the receptionist’s desk. When they ask for her a form of payment, I had almost forgotten about what a shit show yesterday was, and that none of the cards in Bailey’s wallet would work. I hop up before she can ask me, and I hand the receptionist my credit card. Bailey gives me a shy smile and mutters a “thanks.” The receptionist hands me the card back and Bailey some paperwork to fill out. We head to sit down, and Bailey gets to work filling out the paperwork. She sniffles, and when I turn to her I see tears in her eyes.

“Blue, what’s going on?” I ask as I wrap my arm around her shoulder.

“This is just all too much. The last couple of weeks have been madness. Finding out about Little Bear, telling Daniel and that going so terribly, then my parents and that shitshow. Having to rely on you and your parents for everything. I am overwhelmed. I’ve got raging pregnancy hormones. It’s just all too much.” She says. We had a similar conversation last night after we hung up with my parents. I’ve never seen her so upset or overwhelmed, and I hate it.

“Blue, sweetheart, what can I do to make it better? How can I make you feel less overwhelmed?” I squeeze her shoulder.

“Go back in time and not let me sleep with Daniel? But even that seems like the wrong answer. I haven’t known about this baby for very long, but I’m already so attached. I love them so much already, so I’m not even sure I would take it back. I don’t know what you can do. Just keep holding me up like you always do. I feel like my life is in a free fall, completely out of control. Don’t let me fall, Bear. Please.” The last word comes out in a sob. The desperation in her voice just about breaks me.

“I would never let you fall, Blue. We are going to get through this together, just like we always do. You, me, and Little Bear. We are in this together. I will hold you up when you feel like you can’t hold yourself. I will be there for every appointment, every late night craving, holding your hair back when the morning sickness is too much, and for all the important moments for you and Little Bear.” And I mean every word. I could spend my entire life in the friend zone, and I would support Bailey in any way I can. It might be unbearably painful to just be this close to her forever and never be able to touch her the way I want to, but I will take any part of Bailey she’s willing to give me.

Bailey is just about to respond when a nurse in pink scrubs comes out and calls her name. We get up and follow her in the back. She introduces herself as Margo, and asks Bailey to step on the scale after following her through a door and into another hallway. After she has gotten her height and weight we are led to an examination room. There is an ultrasound machine in the room, which gets me excited for the idea of seeing our Little Bear. Margo asks Bailey to sit on the exam table and then takes her vitals and asks how she is feeling.