Page 283 of Sinister

He nods.

“I fulfilled my contract with the entity when I delivered fifty souls to him. Every other murder after was for the sole purpose of gaining power, to consume more souls, to ascend so I could be once more myself. So I could be with you. In fact, the first soul I ever consumed was that of your father.”

“My father?”

“And your brother. And everyone who had a hand in your suffering.”

The breath leaves my lungs. “You killed them for me?”

“As I would always do. My only regret is that I did not kill them earlier, before they hurt you.”

I swallow hard as I try to make sense of the information. This is all too much, too fantastical—though I should not be surprised at anything anymore. “And the students at school?”

He shakes his head. “I did not kill them. At my current level, I only require one soul per year to maintain my power. And I no longer kill for it. I simply watch and wait for an evil person to die and consume the soul before they can cross over.”

“But if you did not kill them, who did?”

“I cannot say, Petra. But I did not.”

“How do I know you’re not lying to me again?” I counter.

“I’ve already told you this much; why would I lie about something like that? Yes, I am a killer. Yes, I am a demon, though I do not consider myself particularly evil, nor satanic. I am simply a man who has done everything he could to return to the only home he’s ever known—you.”

He leans toward me, but I pull back. The disappointment on his face is clear, but I am still so confused.

“What about the baby? If you’re a demon, then . . .”

“I do not know,” he answers sincerely. “I was told made-demons are infertile. The pregnancy shocked me as much as it did you.”

“That’s why you believed my lie?”

“Yes. Even though I’ve been watching you, monitoring you all your life, when I found out you were pregnant, I was so sure it couldn’t be mine just because biologically it did not make sense. I was so damn angry, so jealous. Just thinking of you with another man . . .” He takes a deep breath. “It destroyed me.”

“If you thought it was biologically impossible, then what will happen to the baby? Will he be all right?” I press my hands to my stomach defensively. Just thinking that something might go wrong fills me with so much anguish and desperation.

“He will be fine. He must be fine,” he states vehemently. “And no matter what he ends up being, if he’s not wholly human, he will be loved.”

I nod mechanically. “I just want him to be safe and healthy.”

“I will do everything in my power to ensure that.”

“Thank you.”

He tries to reach for my hand, and though my body yearns for his touch, I push it away. Not now. I cannot think with him touching me.

I take a deep breath.

“I don’t know what to think anymore, Sin,” I whisper. “This is too much.”

His face falls. “I understand. I know you probably think I am a bastard, and to a certain degree, I am. I did questionable things to bring you to me again. But everything I’ve done has been for you, Petra. I traded my humanity for immortality just so I could wait for you, so I would never forget you.”

“I—” I don’t know how to reply to that. My mind is telling me to run, that this is insanity at its highest degree. But my heart keeps skipping beats every time he tells me how he murdered people for me.

If he’s sick, perhaps I am just as sick for knowing he got revenge in my name, that he made those people pay with blood for what they did. Yet I cannot deny that he’s a killer—that he’s killed tens if not hundreds of people over the centuries to gain more power.

He did it for you, silly, my inner voice amends. Why can’t you see how romantic this is?

Romantic? Did I just think that this entire . . . murderous, demonic business is romantic?