Page 44 of Mia

“You heard me. You’ve been distant since the funeral. You wouldn’t look at me. You didn’t talk to me. You stayed as far away from me as possible, Titan.”

“I’m grieving too, Mia!” he yelled, jumping up. “Excuse me if I need a little time to get my fucking head together.”

“Oh, good for you for getting your head together because I sure the fuck can’t. You think I want to feel like this? To be stuck in this cycle of grief, where all I want to do is lay in bed? I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I don’t have the fucking energy to do anything. I feel so fucking alone and I needed you! You’re so fucking selfish!”

He scoffed. “I’m selfish? You can’t be fucking serious.”

“Oh, I’m dead serious.”

He stood and paced the floor shaking his head and mumbling to himself.

“I’m selfish? I’m fucking selfish? Did she really just say that shit?” He stopped and looked at me. “You ever think that maybe I couldn’t be around you? This is your fault! I love you, but you are so goddamn hardheaded and stubborn. What did you think would happen if you went over there on a mission while pregnant? Did you ever think about the consequences? How were you going to hide that shit when you really started showing? You decided to make the worst possible decision at the worst possible time, all because you called yourself needing a break from me… from us. I would have given you space. Every time shit gets hard or overwhelming with us, you run from me. Look what happened. If you had listened to me and stayed home, our daughter would still fucking be here!”

“Fuck you!” I screamed, throwing my body wash at him. “If you really wanted to stop me, you would have outed me. You just wanted to control me like always!”

“When have I ever controlled you? When have you ever been easy to go along with anything?”

“When I accepted your sorry ass hand in marriage. Worse mistake I ever made.”

He shook his head. “That’s that bullshit,” he said, pointing at me.

“No, that’s some truth for your ass.”

He nodded his head. “I’m not about to argue with you. I don’t have that shit in me right now.”

He walked out of the bathroom, and I could hear him going downstairs. Fuck no. As bad as it was, it felt good to yell at someone. To take my anger out on someone. I shut off the shower and snatched my towel from the rack. Securing it around myself, I went after him, not caring that I was dripping water everywhere.

“Where do you think you’re going?” I asked, taking the stairs as fast as I could. “You talk about me walking away, but you’re doing the same thing right now.”

“I’d rather walk away than continue to say some shit I can’t take back.”

“You already fucking said it. Go on, tell me how much you really hate me right now, Titan. You wanna put your hands on me, don’t you?”

“I don’t wanna fight with you, Mia,” he said, opening the door. Maceo, Smoke and Deuce stood on the other side, preparing to enter.

“The fuck is going on here?” Deuce asked. “We can hear y’all yelling down the road.

“Nothing,” Titan mumbled. “I’m out.”

“Leave!” I yelled. “That’s what you’ve been wanting to do since the funeral. You blame me for Eden’s⁠—”

He spun around and walked toward me. Smoke tried to grab him, but he snatched away.

“Don’t say my daughter’s fucking name.”

“She was my daughter. I carried her⁠—”

“You barely even wanted her! You couldn’t have. Not with the shit you pulled. You ignored me for three months, Mia. Denied me the courtesy of at least knowing how my child was doing. You put her in harm's way because you’re so muthafucking selfish! Everything is always about you. What you want. How shit makes you feel. You never think of anybody but yourself and that’s exactly why our daughter is dead!”

My anger boiled over as he said that. I tried to swing at him, but Maceo stepped between us, while Smoke held Titan back.

“I hate you!” I screamed. “I fucking hate you!”

“Right now, I hate you too!”

“Y’all gotta chill out, man,” Maceo said, gently grabbing my shoulders and walking me backward. “Both of y’all are hurting right now. Y’all said a lot already. Don’t let this get any uglier.”

“The fuck you think I’m trying to leave for?” Titan asked, walking back toward the door.