Page 40 of Mia

“What the fuck were y’all thinking, nigga?” he asked.

“Ask your sister, that. I was thinking I was going to get my hardheaded ass wife and bring her the fuck home.”

“You never should have let her go over there, muthafucka!” Smoke snapped.

I laughed. “What about her? She knew she was pregnant and shouldn’t have been over there either. I told her not to go. Forbid it and she hopped her ass on that fucking plane and went anyway.”

“You’re her fucking husband!” Deuce yelled. “We ain’t gon’ talk about that shit. But how the fuck are you supposed to be the head of the household and letting her do reckless shit?”

“Letting her? Your sister does whatever the hell she wants, and y’all know that! She barely listens to y’all and you think she’s gonna listen to me just because I married her? You clearly don’t know her. Those fifteen years you went without her is showing. Mia DeLuca is nobody’s submissive.”

Smoke shook his head. “Then you should have told Pops or her grandfather. This is just as much on you as it is on her, nigga.”

I jumped up from my seat and charged in their direction.

“You don’t think I know that!” I bellowed as Steel and Maceo held me back. “You don’t think I feel responsible for my daughter’s death, muthafucka? Like I don’t replay that scene in my head over and over? Like I ain’t been over here drowning my muthafucking sorrows in liquor to numb the pain? I feel every fucking thing! Ain’t shit you can say to make me feel worse than I do! I gotta feel this shit for the rest of my life!”

The room grew quiet. The two of them stared at me and I stared at them. I snatched away from Maceo and Steel and sat back down, dropping my head in my hands. For the first time since the funeral, I cried like a fucking baby in front of them. I didn’t care how it made me look. A nigga was hurting and no amount of weed or alcohol could numb that pain.

We didn’t speak another word after that. They just sat with me, passing a few blunts in rotation and listening to music. When they left, each of them pulled me into a hug and told me there would be no beef. Life was already beating my ass harder than they ever could anyway.

A two-hour car ride later, we were pulling into the James family compound. Unlike the Dillingers, more than family lived here. Members from all across the organization lived on the compound. I’d lived here for a little while when I was younger, while my mama was heavily active.

Thaddeus James wasn’t a nigga to play with. Old age and all, he was about his business and never hesitated to get in the field himself, much like Senior. We rolled up in front of the James mansion. His security got out to retrieve me. Unlike most niggas they brought to see Thad, they allowed me to walk freely. There was no need for me to try to run or prolong what was about to happen.

As we walked through the quiet halls, I took note of the staff going about their business. They looked at me with sympathetic glances. No doubt they knew what happened and why I was here. We bypassed Thad’s office and headed down to the underground bunker where he held his special meetings.

When I reached the bottom of the stairs, Thad was waiting with his arms behind his back. The room was filled with several elder members of the organization and a few of the team. Booker, Noah, Silas, Romero, Emmon, and Elum were there as well, as well as my mama and Ms. Maddie.

She offered a weak smile and mouthed that she was sorry. No doubt she’d gone to bat for me with her father. If Thaddeus felt like you went against the grain, there was no conversation to be had. You were dead. If he decided to extend grace, you might live, but you had to fight for it.

I stepped into the middle of the circle, directly in front of my boss.

“Thaddeus,” I said, showing not an ounce of fear.

“Titan. You know why you’re here?”

“I’m aware. Let’s get it over with.”

“Before we get into that, I just want to know why the fuck you didn’t come to me with the news that my granddaughter was pregnant and on a dangerous mission.”

“I think we can also ask the question why she didn’t tell you herself.”

He chuckled. “Always the smart ass. Believe me, I will deal with Mia. Right now, I’m dealing with you. Explain yourself.”

I sighed. “I told her not to go.”

“Yet she did, and you said nothing. She was over there for three fucking months, Titan.”

“And for three months, I tried to get her to come back home. That’s why I went over there, to bring her back my damn self. Should I have said something, yeah. Believe me, I regret not opening my mouth. Mia is stubborn. You and I both know that. But she agreed to come back. We were all set to leave when… when that shit popped off.”

“When you called me to ask for additional support, that was your time to tell me what the fuck was going on.”

“I know.”

“So what was the fucking reason!”

“I was trying to handle and protect my fucking wife!” I yelled. “I had her. I was bringing her back home and shit just went left. I don’t have any other excuse or reason, Thad. No matter how many times you ask me this shit, I don’t have another answer.”