Page 134 of Colt

“You are so smart it’s amazing. Of course I remember,” she says. “Just like I remember how much you’re learning in kindergarten.”

Dean beams. “Kindergarten is the best. I’m so good at it.”

Note to self: Talk to Dean about the definition of humility.

Mom looks at Dad. Dad looks back at Mom. They’ve always had the ability to communicate with just a glance. Used to make me wonder why Abby and I could never pull it off.

“I think that’s mighty clever,” Dad says. “What do you think, Mama?”

“I think I love it.” Mom smiles. “It’s just different enough to stand out, but still classic and very tongue-in-cheek. Just like my sense of humor.”

Now it’s Lainey who’s beaming. “Dean informed me he saw the colors in yellow.”

“It’s my favorite color,” Dean confirms.

Billie’s eyes move around the table. “Well then, our new logo has to be yellow. I don’t know how y’all feel, but I am really digging this.”

Her enthusiasm—her willingness to try on something new—really is the best. I’ve missed my sister. My best friend too. I know I’m jealous of them.

I’m jealous because I want another shot at love, even though I’m scared to admit it.

“Thank you, Billie. Appreciate the vote of support.” Lainey looks at me, and everything inside me leaps. “Although I don’t think the new branding will pass by unanimous vote tonight.”

I take a sip of water in a failed effort to control my speeding heartbeat. “What makes you say that, Lainey?”

Her lips twitch—just barely—when she replies, “You and your stubborn behind. You were gonna shoot us down even before we shared our idea.”

“For what it’s worth, I like it too,” Ryder says.

Part of me still wants to bite his head off.

Another part of me is fighting a smile of my own.

“Of course you do,” I manage. “Am I the only one who thinks this whole rebranding business is a waste of time and money?”

Another shameless attempt to get a rise out of our honored guest.

“Yes,” the table replies in unison.

Lainey’s eyes brim with triumph.

That’s a good look on you, honey. And Double U just might be a good look for us too.

“Great,” I scoff.

Dad clears his throat. “How about we shelve that conversation for later? Tonight, I wanna enjoy this delicious lasagna and the company of all my well-behaved children. Plus their significant others.” Dad nods at Ryder. “We’ve been waiting an age to add some more places at the table. Thank you for coming, Ryder.”

A flush works its way up Ryder’s face. I feel a rush of—of something hit me. Sympathy? Grief? Relief?

Happiness?

“Thank y’all for giving me a chance to prove that I’m worthy of your daughter,” Ryder says, meeting eyes with Billie. “She’s somethin’ special, and I can’t wait to watch her soar.”

Billie’s whole face softens, and so does the stuff inside my chest. I gotta quit being such an asshole about this whole thing. Sure, Billie and Ryder hurt me. But they didn’t do it on purpose. And I’m not gonna be the one who hates them for being happy together.

They deserve better. We all do.

I look at Lainey, who’s looking at my sister and her boyfriend with the same wistfulness I feel inside my rib cage.