Page 124 of Colt

It’s like she’s giving me permission to just be. No second guesses. No putting on a show.

Dropping the vibrator back into the drawer, I grab the box and open it.

It takes me two tries to tear away one foil packet. I blame impatience for how badly I’m shaking. It’s just been too long. I’m just having so much fun.

Not the whole truth, and you know it.

But the whole truth scares the shit out of me, so I’m not gonna go there right now.

Tossing the condom to Lainey, I sit up and start unbuttoning my shirt. “Open that.”

“Only time I like it when you’re bossy”—she brings the packet to her mouth—“is when we’re in bed.”

I chuckle, if only to drown out the thoughts that loop through my head. I’ll boss you around anytime, honey. Get used to it. We’ll be doing this tomorrow, and the next day, and the day after that.

What happens when it ends, though?

Where does all this relief and need and playfulness go when she leaves?

Because I like this version of myself. I’m terrified, wearing my heart on my sleeve in a way that makes absolutely no sense. Part of me feels like I’m being reckless. Another part feels just plain brave.

Maybe keeping my walls up wasn’t the accomplishment I always believed it was. Maybe…

Hell, maybe it made me less of a man. Because right now, buttons flying off my shirt as I tear it off in gleeful anticipation, my boots falling to the floor with dull thuds, I feel alive.

Fully, deeply alive.

It takes me too long to get naked. Worth the effort, though, because when I turn to face Lainey, her eyes rake hungrily over my bare chest and stomach and thighs, stopping on my erect cock.

Her throat works on a swallow. “Pretty.”

“You keep saying that.”

“You don’t like the praise?”

I chuckle, sitting back on my haunches between Lainey’s legs. My dick is obscenely heavy. Bigger than I’ve ever been.

“I love the praise. Clearly.”

Condom in one hand, she reaches for me with the other. We both watch as she gives me a firm tug, drawing a bead of precum to my tip.

I wanna lean in. Kiss her mouth. Let her know just how good she makes me feel. I got all this shit inside me—joy, eagerness, tenderness, gratitude—and I wanna share it with her. Show her with my lips and tongue what this means to me.

I want that so badly it hurts.

“Get me ready, honey.” I go up on my knees and scooch a little closer.

When she starts rolling the condom onto my length, my balls tighten. I close my eyes.

Inhale. Exhale.

I don’t think anyone loves condoms, but tonight, I’m grateful we’re using ’em. I might actually last longer than sixty seconds.

Lainey wraps her hand around me. “Come here, cowboy.”

Yes, ma’am.

Curling my hand around her thigh, I hike her knee up to my hip. Leaning in, I suck her nipple into my mouth before I climb over her.