Page 103 of Colt

Beck gives my shoulder a squeeze. “Not every relationship or situationship or whatever⁠—”

“What the hell is a situationship?” I ask.

Mack grimaces. “You don’t wanna know.”

“As I was saying”—Beck clears his throat—“not every relationship is going to blow up in your face, Colt. What if you and Lainey have your fun and nothing bad happens and then she finishes her job and leaves and that’s that? No drama. No collateral damage. To be honest, that’s probably the most likely scenario.”

“She’s younger than me. A lot younger.”

Beck nods. “Right. But she’s still an adult, capable of making adult decisions. Let’s be real, she’s way more mature than you are.”

Another fair point.

“You got your dukes up,” Mack says. “I don’t even think you realize it—that you go into everything expecting a fight. This isn’t a fight. This is fu⁠—”

“And I’m out.” I push off the railing.

Mack laughs. “This is fun with friends. Good friends.”

“Naked friends.” Beck wags his eyebrows.

“Shut up.”

Beck shakes his head. “Never.”

Later, after we finally get the bridle on Polka-Dot and hay the northeast field and fix some fence down by the river, I think about what my brothers said as I drive to Mom and Dad’s to pick up Dean.

Lainey and I clearly aren’t meant to be together in the long term. But what if dating her teaches me something I need to learn to move on? Move on from the hurt, the grief, the sadness.

Maybe she teaches me something that will help me forgive Billie and Ryder too.

I don’t feel the pain of their betrayal quite so acutely anymore. Time really does heal all wounds. But maybe so does getting out. Doing something different. Participating in the world in a way I never really did before.

I wonder if the universe put Lainey in my way to teach me how to have fun again. Because that’s what the other night was—fun. The kind I forgot existed.

I woke up every day this week feeling lighter than I have in an age. Which makes me think I need more of this fun. Even as a teenager, I didn’t allow myself to let loose all that much. Hard to get silly when you feel like your family’s future rests on your shoulders.

When you’re in love and trying to do the right thing.

Fuck the right thing.

I’m going to do what I want for once. Maybe my brothers are right and shit won’t blow up in my face.

Or maybe it will. Either way, I can’t stop that from letting me live my damn life.

I can’t stop that from letting me confront the things I need to confront. Like my anger. My dad.

My sister and my best friend.

CHAPTER 20

Father to Son

COLT

The next day, I have lunch with Mom. Then I go look for Dad in the office, praying like hell Cash wasn’t full of shit when he said he saw my sister hanging out with Ryder on Lucky River Ranch.

I find him at his desk, phone pressed to his ear, the screen of his desktop computer lit up with a spreadsheet.