Page 4 of Game Over

I was even willing to take a pay cut since I had enough saved up. I was renting where I lived, and had nothing to tie me to Knoxville. Now seemed like the best time for the major change. My best friend Carson had originally offered to let me crash with him, but he and his family had already done so much for me that I couldn’t do that to him. They were a big reason I took the leap and moved back. I didn’t have the biggest support system, but the Adams had been beyond welcoming and helpful for most of my life. Luckily, some newer apartments were available, and I was able to find something affordable pretty quickly.

I lay there and scrolled on my phone since the internet hadn’t gotten hooked up yet, and wouldn't till tomorrow afternoon. My nerves kept my mind circling about everything. The move back, my new job, was I making the right decision in all of this? It felt like the right decision, but what if I was wrong? I could feel my mind spiraling, catching onto all the “what-ifs.” I closed my apps and did some deep breathing to try to silence the storm brewing. Eventually, it helped enough that I was able to fall into a deep sleep, hoping I would rest enough to start this new level tomorrow.

CHAPTER 3

The Hot Nerd

“Ugh, but I don’t wanna get up!” I incoherently grumbled as I reached for my phone to turn the blaring alarm off. I swear it didn’t matter what I did, or what new routine I tried, mornings were not for me. Never have been, never will be. I was like waking the dead. Dolly stretched out and yawned, then let out the biggest huff like she was the one who had to get up and go to work today. After staying wrapped in the covers like a human burrito as long as I could, I finally hauled myself out of bed and headed to the bathroom before making my way to the kitchen to start some coffee.

After graduating a few years ago, I treated myself to a fancy coffee maker so I could save some money and make it at home. Not to say I didn’t still go out and get coffee at times as a little treat, but there was something about your entire house smelling like a coffee shop while you curled up with a book or while you got ready in the mornings. It was the one part of my morning routine that I did enjoy.

I called for Dolly so she could go out to go potty, and since I had a few extra minutes, I decided to sit outside with her and catch up on my latest read. Work had been so busy recently, I hadn’t had much time for reading, and I hated it. It was already fairly warm out, and the air was sticky with the humidity. I crossed my legs under me while I sipped on my coffee, letting the warmth trickle down my throat, slowly waking me up. Dolly was chasing a butterfly in the yard, being as cute as ever. Eventually, I wrangled her inside and gave her a bully stick while I set to work to fill her food and water bowls.

I was lucky that I could let her roam around the house a couple of days during the week when I did have to go to the office. Other than a lone cord when I first brought her home, she has done great. She didn’t chew anything, only had a couple of small accidents inside in the very beginning, and she didn’t get into anything either. Lately, though, I had been considering getting her a brother or sister. When I was at the office, and if Emma couldn’t make it over, I felt bad because she could be lonely. The dog mom guilt was real.

My master playlist came on while I sat at my vanity to get ready. One thing about me is that I’ll always have music going. Whether I’m alone or if it’s background noise for a group of people. Music was the one beautiful thing that had remained untainted by my life. It’s the lifeline that always stayed with me to keep me afloat when I was drowning.

My taste ranged from classical to men screaming at me, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Whenever I was having a bad mental health day, shitty work day, or fighting my brain with my body dysmorphia, music would help ground me. It would stop those spiraling thoughts and get me out of my own head.

I added a little winged liner to today's look for a little boost, and curled my hair loosely. Today was casual Friday in the office, but I still wanted to feel put together. Nothing made me feel more on top of the world than my makeup done and a cute outfit. I opted for my black skinny jeans and a T-shirt I could throw a cardigan over if I got cold, and my slip-on checkered Vans. I posed in front of the floor mirror in the corner of my room and snapped a couple of pictures. Dolly was stretched out on the bed in one of them, so I decided to post it because she was too cute. After I finished getting ready, I grabbed my laptop bag, purse, water, and everything else and loaded up into the car. I threw my sunglasses on and headed off to work, ready to take on the day.

I pulled into the parking garage and parked beside Rachel, who was sitting and waiting for me.

“I swear, the amount of bags you bring to work, you’d think you were staying overnight,” she laughed while I was trying to get a hold of everything.

“Be that as it may,” I grunted, “do I not always have everything we could possibly need? Band-Aids? Snacks? Pads or tampons? You never know when you may need these things.”

“You do have a good point there, Aunt Flo has snuck up on me while at work one too many times.”

Rachel and I mindlessly talked while we made our way up to our floor and then to our desks. From upcoming plans outside of work, her latest date disaster, and then plans for lunch. The sun was shining brightly through our rows of windows, the last shades of pink and orange streaked across the sky from the sunrise, and glittered off the top of the river down below. I didn’t love having to come into the office, but I sure as hell loved the view we got. Nothing would ever beat the mountains in my opinion.

We settled into a comfortable silence while we pulled up our systems for the day and checked our calendars to see what all needed to get done. I needed to work on scheduling one-on-ones with my team, a team meeting with all leaders to welcome our new hires, and I needed to start getting quarterly reports ready, too. Definitely a lot to do, but not overwhelming, and as long as everything goes smoothly, I could knock a majority of that out today.

Pulling up my email, I shot off a quick mass email to all our team leaders, confirming the meeting time and room location. Within five minutes, I heard the ding of an incoming message.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re.: New Hire Team Meeting

Allie. I do not recall this meeting being on the calendar. Also do not recall you being put in charge of scheduling this. How about we put a pin in this and circle back when it’s more convenient. Thanks.

-Paul

Sent from iPhone

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me.” I rolled my eyes at his response because it was always Paul who caused issues with me. He hated it when I or any of our other female team leads were in charge. He couldn’t stand to report to someone else who wasn’t one of his buddies because he couldn’t slack off. I didn’t make it to where I was by letting people in a work setting walk all over me. I held everyone to a high standard, and you either met it or we had a one-on-one conversation.

Paul and I had a lot of those. The first few were fine, if not slightly frustrating, because he wanted to treat it as a joke. I made sure to set firm boundaries and clear expectations on the level of work I expected when I was on top of a project.

Then he tried hitting on me and kissing me in the conference room since the door was closed for privacy. Needless to say, he left that meeting with a bruised ego and a new vendetta against me—to always make things ten times harder for me. Taking a deep breath, I shot off a reply to cut his bullshit off before it started.

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: Re.: New Hire Team Meeting