Page 91 of The Ruin I Chose

She was alive. I’d seen it with my own eyes. But I wasn’t close enough to feel safe. Not for her. Not for me.

I needed to be near her. To see her breathe. Having her next to me that was the only way I could be sure she was safe. And this paranoia, it wouldn’t end until Lorenzo did.

But I forced myself to see her as I saw her tonight. Smiling. Dancing. Carefree. I imagined holding her, breathing her in—her scent, her smile. It calmed the storm enough for sleep to come.

The next day, I was up earlier than Sahil. I paced around his living room and helped myself to the espresso. Thank God he had a good machine. My stomach was in knots.

I was going to meet Roxanne’s family—even if just for a short while. For me, that was huge. A step way out of my comfort zone,

I couldn’t even see the line anymore. And I couldn’t believe that after forty years living with danger, a woman could make me feel this nervous.

Sahil came in, still sleepy, wearing SpongeBob pyjamas with a matching tee.

“Why are you buzzing around the living room high on coffee?

He yawned. “It’s just eight, man. We still have three more hours before we can get to Roxy’s. What time were you up?”

“Five. I could barely sleep.”

“Dude, you need to chill. You’re not gonna win her over by being impatient.”

“I kept my distance so that she would be safe.”

“And yet she wasn’t.”

That one hit hard. My heart sank because I knew Sahil was right. I had this deep-seated fear that I’d fucked up by keeping her away. Letting Lorenzo get his filthy hands on her. It clawed at my chest every time I thought about it since Sahil told me. I’d lost too much time with her already. I wouldn’t lose her. I couldn’t. She was now my sanity.

“You gave her hope. After your encounter in China.”

I looked at him, surprised.

“She never said it. But she wore that necklace like it was stitched to her breath. I think she hoped you’d reach out. When you didn’t—she broke again.”

He put a plate of scrambled eggs and toast in front of me.

“She still has feelings for you. I don’t know what they are, but they’re there. And she’s definitely gonna make you beg and grovel.”

“I’m prepared for that. I just…” I shut my eyes, trying to bring the words out.

“I don’t want to lose her again. I can’t.”

“Good. Be prepared, ‘cause she’ll be ready to bite your head off.”

“I’ll take all the help I can get.”

“That’s what weddings are for, bro. Also, be nice to Kyra. But not too nice—she’s half Roxy, if you know what I mean,” he said, winking.

Winning Roxanne’s trust again would take time. It wouldn’t be easy, but I was ready to work. I’d earned her silence—now I’d earn her voice. She was worth it. And I understood that too late—only when I saw her at the edge of life did it hit me.

She was mine.

And it was only a matter of time before she knew it too.

CHAPTER 36

MARCELLO

We reached Roxanne’s place right on time. Her house made me feel at home. Not because of sunlight or soft furnishings—but because it breathed warmth. There was something about the space—inviting, lived-in, unapologetically hers. Bursts of colour, textures from her travels, small memorabilia tucked into corners. No show—like the homes you see in magazines. It felt soulful.