Page 9 of A Selfish Disdain

For his own part, Darcy did not have a more satisfactory explanation to his actions. He only knew that each day he found himself wondering, not whether he should encounter Miss Elizabeth Bennet, but when. At Netherfield during luncheon, in the sitting room at Longbourn, upon a walk, or in some drawing room conversation, she would invariably discover a fresh opportunity to oppose him, and he, with equal certainty, would answer her.

It ought to have wearied him, as he ought to have preferred the society of those who agreed with him more readily. But, he found himself disappointed whenever a day afforded fewer conversations with Miss Elizabeth than he had expected, and uncommonly attentive whenever she entered a room.

He persisted in calling the sensation irritation, for irritation was familiar and infinitely less disquieting than any alternative. However, when he examined the matter with honesty, he was obliged to admit that it bore little resemblance to annoyance.

Darcy did not seek Elizabeth’s company because she agreed with him, nor despite the fact that she contradicted him. Rather, he sought it because no one else compelled him to think so carefully, defend his opinions so thoroughly, or enabled him to laugh privately at himself.

CHAPTER 5

The wedding itself passed in a blur of flowers, tears, and half-remembered vows. The whole of the neighbourhood had pronounced it the finest thing Meryton had seen since the Assembly rooms were built. Mrs. Bennet wept through the ceremony and laughed through the breakfast that followed, and declared to anyone who would listen that she had never in her life been so completely, thoroughly happy.

During one such excessive display of happiness, Mr. Bennet leaned toward Elizabeth and, with the quiet dryness that so often accompanied his observations, remarked, "I hope her mother might be persuaded to marry off the rest of her daughters at some more leisurely interval, for my nerves are not equal to a repetition of the present exertions on any shorter notice than an annum."

Elizabeth, knowing her father too well to mistake his complaint for genuine distress, simply said, “I, for one, shall see to it, Papa.”

He had endured Mrs. Bennet's anxieties and the endless bustle of preparations with greater patience than he would admit. Elizabeth knew her father’s cheeky declaration of exhaustion was less a protest than an affectionate surrender to the inevitable, that he loved his daughters dearly, though he preferred their happiness over larger periods of time.

Jane is radiant, Elizabeth thought, feeling delighted, as she watched her sister. The new Mrs. Bingley was standing next to her new husband, smiling, as he spoke merely with their neighbors.

She was made to be a bride, Elizabeth reflected; and Bingley, for his part, appears so thoroughly besotted by his new wife. They are a fine match.

Elizabeth’s thoughts flew back to the wedding ceremony. She stood next her sister, and opposite to Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy. Elizabeth could not help but notice how occupied Mr. Bingley was looking at his soon-to-be wife with undisguised delight.

Though, it did not pass Elizabeth's notice that Mr. Darcy, though far less expressive, was no less attentive. His gaze did not linger openly as Bingley's did, but she found herself increasingly aware that his stare remained frequently on her throughout the ceremony. Elizabeth had caught several of his brief glances and small, looming attentions.

Mr. Darcy stared too much, Elizabeth, feeling a new sort of fluttering, had decided during the wedding breakfast. Worse still, he stared at her with such seriousness that she could not help but imagine he was taking account of every imperfection he discovered.

Indeed, Mr. Darcy’s manner was so intent that she found herself wondering whether he ever looked at anyone without considering their deficiencies. It was a most provoking habit, and an even more provoking one because she found herself wishing to know what conclusions he had reached.

Nevertheless, during the wedding breakfast, Mr, Bingley, ever open to changing plans when affection suggested a better course, surprised Jane with a short wedding tour. What had originally been intended as a quieter arrangement was abandoned the moment he imagined his new wife deprived of even a few days of adventure and pleasure.

“A week,” he declared, “is hardly excessive when one considers the importance of beginning married life properly, my dear.”

Jane, as expected, was delighted by the thought but protested the inconvenience to everyone else. “But Charles, what of Mr. Darcy and the London staff are still working on the new wallpaper in the Library? Would not that be a great inconvenience?”

Bingley dismissed such concerns with ease. "My dear, we shall only be gone a week," he insisted. "Surely Netherfield, and Darcy, can survive without us for that long."

To which Mr. Darcy, who had long since accepted that his friend's enthusiasm would always outrun his practicality, replied that he, along with Netherfield, had survived much greater challenges and would likely endure this one as well.

Rather than depart for London immediately, Darcy agreed to remain at Netherfield during their absence. There were still several matters requiring attention around the estate, most particularly concerns regarding the drainage near the lower grounds, which had been neglected far longer than any responsible owner would have allowed, thought Darcy. The work was neither glamorous nor particularly agreeable, but Darcy had always possessed a sense of duty that made him attentive to matters others were willing to overlook.

Bingley was grateful for the assistance, though he made certain to assure everyone that Darcy's presence was entirely voluntary and not at all the result of being trapped into managing responsibilities that belonged to the master of the house. And Darcy, for his part, made no effort to correct the assumption.

Elizabeth was invited, upon their return, to stay with the happy couple at Netherfield for a time, both to keep Jane company and to assist her as she adjusted to the unfamiliar responsibilities of being mistress of such an establishment. Elizabeth was more than pleased to offer her support to her eldest sister. While Jane possessed every quality required for the role, gentleness, good sense, and a sincere consideration for others, she had never been required to direct a household of servants, manage expectations, or make the many small decisions upon which the comfort of an estate depended.

***

The morning after their wedding, the Bingleys departed Netherfield for their brief wedding trip. That same morning, Elizabeth found herself walking the grounds of Longbourn, towards the perimeter it shared with Netherfield Park.

As she reached the lower edge of the grounds, she discovered Mr. Darcy standing near the boundary wall, with several estate workers. He had removed his coat and stood examining the ground. His boots were marked with mud, and there was a seriousness in his expression that suggested he was in deep thought at the predicament before him.

Elizabeth slowed her steps, not wishing to interrupt whatever discussion was taking place. Mr. Darcy, however, seemed to sense someone near, and lifted his head from his conversation. One of the estate workers beside Darcy also shifted his gaze towards Elizaebth.

She had not intended to be seen, but Elizabeth found she could not simply turn and ignore the man. Instead, she offered a polite smile, and a pert comment that sprang from her before she had troubled to temper it. "Mr. Darcy." She dropped him the smallest nod. "It appears you have exchanged drawing rooms for ditches."

She watched as Mr. Darcy said a few words to the laborers that she could not hear, then excused himself from the men. He walked over to stand nearer Elizabeth before he answered her. "Miss Bennet,” he started with a brief bow. “Am I to understand that my attention to neglected matters is a fault?"

Elizabeth offered a polite smile, lowering her voice now that he had come within easy hearing. "Not at all, Mr. Darcy. I only find it interesting that you are clearly capable of finding fault in both people and drainage systems."