Page 2 of Wilde Hearts

I reached up and held on to his arms. “I love you, too, Colt.”

Wrapping an arm around my waist, he asked, “Will you go in with me and stay by my side? I don’t think I can handle talking to all those people without you.”

My heart felt like it was breaking all over again. “Of course I will.”

We headed back into his parents’ house, and I was relieved to see that many people had left. My parents, my older brother Caden, and a few friends of Colt’s parents remained. We sat on the sofa as stories of Grady were shared quietly. I thought hearing them would be comforting; instead, they made me feel worse. I was already looking forward to spending some time alone with Colt tomorrow. It would be a balm to my broken heart.

When it was time for us to leave, Caden approached. My brother had been closer to Grady than to Colt, which was always a running joke, since Caden and Colt were actually closer in age. But Caden had grown close to Grady through his long friendship with me.

Reaching a hand out, Caden said, “I know it doesn’t help to keep hearing people say it, but I really am sorry.”

Colt nodded. “Thank you, Caden. Thanks for coming today.”

“Of course.”

My parents gave their goodbyes to Colt’s parents while Colt walked me out to the car. Caden had driven over on his own and was already gone.

I leaned against the car and looked up at him. His eyes were filled with sadness, and it killed me that I couldn’t take his pain away.

Reaching for his hands, I said, “I still don’t want to believe it’s true.”

“Well, it is true.”

His words were sharp, and I tried not to let it feel personal. He was hurting more than I could imagine. He’d lost his only brother to suicide and that wasn’t something that could be relieved with words of condolence.

He closed his eyes. “I’m sorry, Pip.”

I placed my hands on his chest. “It’s okay. I’ll see you tomorrow morning at Anna’s and we can spend the day together, just the two of us.”

Again, something moved across his face that made me want to grab onto him and hold on for dear life.

Lifting up on tiptoes, I kissed him. “Tomorrow will do us both good. Just to be together.”

When he smiled, it didn’t reach his eyes. He cupped my face in his hands and looked into my eyes. “I love you, Ensley. Never, ever forget that. No matter what. Promise me.”

A strange sensation swept over my entire body. “You’re going to meet me tomorrow, right?”

“Of course, I am.”

I relaxed a little…but something still didn’t feel right.

“Promise me, Ensley. Promise me you’ll always know that I’ll never stop loving you.”

Swallowing hard, I replied, “I promise. I’ll always love you, too, Colt. Forever and always.”

A look of relief washed over his face. Was he worried I’d leave him? I knew he was somehow blaming himself for what happened, but surely he didn’t think I blamed him in any way?

Before I could say anything else, my mother and father walked out, said their goodbyes to Colt, and got into the car. I kissed him goodbye once more, and he drew me to him, hugging me so tightly I almost couldn’t breathe.

Then, he let go of me, turned, and walked into the house.

Little did I know then that he would break my heart into a million pieces. Or maybe I did know, that somehow that little inkling of intuition was louder than I wanted to hear…and I just simply couldn’t bring myself to believe it.

Ensley

Present Day

I sat in the rocking chair of Nellie’s nursery as she drank from a bottle of breast milk that Lilibeth had given me. It was so much quieter in the nursery. Everyone was at my brother Caden’s house to celebrate his wedding to Lilibeth. They’d decided not to go on a honeymoon since Nellie, their newborn daughter, was only a couple months old. She’d been born at the end of August.