Page 65 of Wilde Flame

Did it?

I turned my head to look at him. He was staring up at the ceiling, his chest moving a bit slower, but breaths still heavy.

“Caden.”

He met my gaze.

“This thing between us…I have to be honest with you…it’s confusing.”

He exhaled, letting out a long breath, before he looked back up at the ceiling. “I was being selfish tonight. I’m sorry.”

I squeezed his hand in mine. “You don’t have to say you’re sorry. I wanted you as much as you wanted me. But I promised myself that I’d always be honest with you.” Sitting up, I pulled the sheet around me and turned to face him. “I’m guessing you want a friends-with-benefits thing…and I don’t think I can do that.” I swallowed and slowly shook my head as I added, “No. I know I can’t do that. I’m so sorry.”

He reached for my hand once again. “I’m an asshole. I know.”

Smiling, I placed my free hand over his. “You’re not. I could have easily said no, but like I said, I wanted you too. And this thing between us is clearly passionate. You’ll always have a special place in my heart because you…you were my first. As cliché as that sounds. But I don’t want my heart to get broken, and I know it will. Because I’m going to want more, Caden, and you’ve been very honest and upfront that more is not something you can give.”

Caden closed his eyes. “I want to, Lili. I’m just…”

His words faded away, and I could see the conflict on his face.

“I don’t want to lose this friendship we’ve found.”

He smiled that lazy, sexy smile of his. “I don’t want to lose it either, Lilibeth.”

“So…friends only?” I asked, ignoring the way my stomach pitched and rolled with the idea of never having Caden’s hands on me again.

He winked and smiled again, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

I knew what I was doing…and I knew this meant he’d keep meeting up with Millie, and maybe even others. The thought of that made me feel even more sick to my stomach.

Finally, he answered, “Friends only.”

Pushing the covers off himself, he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He sat for a few moments, then stood and began gathering his clothes. My eyes soaked in every bit of him so I could commit it to memory. I’d had him just a few short times, and I’d cherish every single moment.

I slid off the bed and grabbed my pajamas. Neither of us said a word as we finished dressing and headed back to the living room. Caden picked up his coat and walked to the door. I followed him, and with each step, I had to remind myself this was the right thing to do, not only for my heart, but for both of ours.

Turning, he reached up and pushed a strand of my hair behind my ear.

My entire body ached as I silently wished he would tell me that I was what he wanted. That I was the woman he wanted, and not just in his bed.

Instead, he leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. Not the lips…the cheek.

I was getting what I’d asked for.

Friendship.

“Merry Christmas, Lilibeth.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I forced a smile. “Merry Christmas, Caden.”

He opened the door and quickly slipped out, shutting it quietly behind him. The soft click sounded like a gunshot.

My hand shot up to my mouth to hold back the sob that threatened to come out. Turning, I leaned against the door and slowly sank to the floor. Then I buried my face in my hands and cried.

I knew I’d done the right thing. I was already losing my heart to Caden Wilde, and if I didn’t put a stop to it now, it would be shattered with disappointment.

Dropping my head back against the door, I let out a humorless laugh. Who was I kidding? I was already head over heels in love with a man who couldn’t feel the same. And I suddenly felt confused. Had I done the right thing? He may not have been able to give me his heart, but he clearly wanted to give me his body.