Page 21 of Lovely Venom

His eyes roam over me, observing the way it swallows me whole. And for one fleeting moment, he’s not looking at me like he’s perpetually unimpressed by my very existence.

I’m not inclined to believe he’s let go of his dislike for me completely, but it seems like we’ve bridged some of the gap at least.

After a beat, he leans down and extracts Antonella from my arms. As he rises, she settles her head against his chest and lets out a soft exhalation when he rubs her back. I have to tell my hormones to calm down, because right now they’re volunteering my uterus to carry his heirs.

Jesus, I think I just lost my last brain cell.

I should not be having these thoughts about Cristian. Not only are they highly inconvenient, he’s off-limits and most definitely a bad idea.

But, honestly, it can’t be helped. Seeing any of the Vitale brothers with Nella is biological warfare. There’s something so primal about watching men who are natural-born protectors interact with a child. Cristian may have a reputation for being cold and calculating, but he’s gentle and attentive to Nella in a way I never would have expected if I hadn’t witnessed it myself.

I have no doubt he’ll be a good father if he does end up marrying. Though, when I try to imagine him with that woman from the party, my mind rejects the idea.

I’m grateful when Cristian carries Antonella from the room, so I can stop thinking about it entirely. But when I glance over, I find Mariella watching me.

“You’re good with her,” she says. “Do you ever think about having any of your own?”

“All the time.” The words spill out before I can stop them.

I’ve never admitted that out loud before. Maybe it’s the exhaustion of the day, or maybe it’s just that Mariella gets me in a way others don’t.

She understands what it’s like to experience the kind of betrayal that fundamentally changes who you are. In my case, it fractured me so deeply I’m not sure it can ever be repaired. Most days, I feel like I’m just cosplaying as a fully capable and functional adult.

While my other friends think I’m a strong, confident woman, Mariella recognizes the cracks beneath the surface. She notices the uncertainty in my eyes when I tell them everything’s okay, I’m fine, and I have nothing to worry about.

I share more of myself with her because she was there for me at my lowest. And while trust is difficult for me, I know she will never betray my confidence.

“I take it these plans don’t include Marco?” she hedges.

My stomach turns at the mention of his name. “God, no. If I never see him again, it will be too soon.”

“What happened?” She frowns.

I give her the condensed version of his behavior over the past few months and the culmination of everything that happened tonight. When I finish, she looks like she’s contemplating a trip to the city to murder him right now.

“That fucking asshole,” she mutters under her breath. “Say the word, and I’ll make him disappear.”

“I know you would.” I laugh. “But I just want to move on and forget I ever made the terrible decision to sort-of-date him in the first place.”

“Why did you?” she asks.

“He was predictable.” I shrug. “Before he went off the rails, I knew exactly what I was getting.”

“You mean predictably disappointing?”

“Something like that.”

“I get it.” She sighs. “Sometimes it’s tempting to find someone I know I could never love. Maybe I should take a page out of your book.”

“Just don’t choose someone like Marco. Ten out of ten don’t recommend.”

Mariella laughs. “I never liked him, but I also understood. He was hot. Smooth-brained, but hot.”

“So incredibly smooth-brained.” I bite back a smile. “I want to tell you not to settle for someone like that, but honestly, I don’t know a single man who could ever be worthy of you.”

She shrugs, but I get the impression that praise feels hollow and probably always will. She grew up in a family of men who had predetermined roles of importance. As the don’s daughter, her only expectation was being a Mafia princess.

Mariella was never happy with that because she knew she was just as capable as her brothers. So with her father’s blessing, she set out to prove herself and excelled at everything she did.