Page 173 of Lovely Venom

“Oh, is that how you recall this happening?” I muse.

“Vaguely.” He threads his fingers through my hair and tips my head back. “I remember you asking me to fuck you bare, and begging me to come inside you.”

“Yeah, that was definitely all me,” I answer dryly. “No encouragement from you whatsoever.”

“I’m glad we’re on the same page.” He teases the words against my lips.

“You are incorrigible,” I tell him.

“And you are the only person in the world I’d want to do this with,” he rasps.

I nearly melt into the counter, and naturally, my lip starts to get all wobbly. I want to tell him I feel the same, but I can’t even get the words out.

“I never want you to doubt what this is to me.” He caresses my face. “When you trust me, I understand how much of a gift that is, and I won’t take it for granted.”

“Okay, now I’m really going to cry,” I blubber.

He smiles and wipes the tears that leak from my eyes.

“I want to give you everything, Chantel, and I need it to be something you choose.”

I’m not sure what he means until he lets out a rough breath and slips his hand into his pocket. When he removes a velvet ring box, all the air in my lungs seems to dissipate.

“I don’t want you to answer right now.”

He slides it onto the counter beside me without opening it. Then he pauses for a beat to make sure I’m not going to faint—or worse, sprint out of here like I might have done just a few months ago.

“When you’re ready, there’s more I’d like to say,” he tells me. “But for now, I just want you to think about it. I won’t mention it again until you bring it up yourself.”

“Okay.” My throat works.

Some of the tension in his body dissolves, and part of me hates how hard he’s had to work to penetrate my armor. It’s exhausting to live this way, and I’m pretty sure the amount of patience this man has had with me qualifies him for sainthood. No matter how many times I tried to push him away or give him an out, he was always there—even when I didn’t know it.

When I look at him, I can’t deny that I’m in love with him.

Maddeningly, deeply, wholeheartedly in love.

I want this life with him more than I’ve ever wanted anything, and I could say yes right now. But I know it isn’t as easy as living on a hope and a prayer that everything will just work out somehow.

Love is rarely enough when it comes to Mafia politics. There are so many complexities involved in this relationship, and it would be unrealistic to think otherwise. What he chooses will affect his family. It will involve conversations with the Greeks, and the very real consequences that could come from that.

I’m not foolish enough to believe that Ares won’t try to leverage this to his benefit. It’s what men in his position have always done. But marrying Cristian without revealing all the facts would only make him resent me more than he probably already will.

I owe it to him to be honest about who I really am before I accept. He’s giving me the right to choose, and it wouldn’t be fair to him if I didn’t do the same. As much as his rejection might hurt, I would rather face that reality than one where I cling to something that can no longer exist. But I’m not quite ready to face that reality right now.

Just a little longer.

Then I’ll have no choice but to implode this happiness—and potentially ruin everything.

36

CHANTEL

“Is he not the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?” Abella observes me with the small bundle in my arms. “Apart from Nella, of course.”

“You say that at least once a day,” Valentina teases her.

“She can say it every day because it’s true,” Mariella points out.