Page 84 of Escape to the Sun

‘Perhaps I should,’ she said, turning and smiling as best she could as she stepped into the corridor. ‘It’s been amazing to reconnect with you, Teddy. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I’m going to be honest and say I hoped we might be friends again, maybe even more than that, in time. But if it’s not to be, then it’s not to be.’

Ruth did her best to smile through the rest of their time in Barbados. The physical storm passed without further incident, and once they docked in Bridgetown for the second time to complete their stay, Ruth was able to smile for real when Hannah came back on board.

She had to remember this trip was about far more than her unexpected reconnection with Teddy. It hadn’t worked out, but Ruth reminded herself she was very familiar with disappointment. She would survive this – and more than that – if her kids had enjoyed this cruise anything like as much as they seemed to be, she had to take the whole experience as nothing short of a triumph.

Even if it did feel a bit of a hollow win.

Ruth did her level best to join in with the excitement shown by her children when they docked at the next island, Grenada. Their visit to the ‘Isle of Spice’ – info courtesy of Millie – was exceptional. Accompanied by Hannah, they took a local minibus from Grenada’s cruise ship terminal to what Ruth decided was the most beautiful beach yet, Grand Anse. The minibus went like the clappers and was packed with locals – it was a complete blast. Ruth couldn’t help but enjoy watching Millie and Nathan as they messed around in the sea. Nathan’s natural inclination to browbeat his sister finally laid aside. Ruth was thrilled by that, to be honest, a fact she bored Hannah with as they both made the most of the beach’s sun loungers. There were whole moments when Ruth was able to forget Teddy was so close, if only geographically.

Hannah only mentioned Teddy once, Ruth did her best to cover her true emotions, keeping her words brief and non-committal. The last thing Ruth wanted now was to muddy the waters for Hannah any further. And luckily Hannah didn’t press her – it seemed she was as lost in her own thoughts as Ruth was, and for that Ruth was grateful.

They visited a nutmeg processing plant, apparently one of Grenada’s biggest exports (thanks, Millie), where the air was thick with the rich, woody Christmassy scent of the spice, and the basic nature of the conditions in the factory put some kind of perspective on her own issues.

A boat trip to see the island’s resident whale and dolphin species sealed Millie and Nathan’s enjoyment of the whole cruise. Finally Ruth was smiling with genuine pleasure, matching the grins radiating from her children. Life would go on. She could do this.

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The group was still buzzing from the trip to see the dolphins, Millie especially so as she flicked through the photos she’d taken, laughing as she showed one with the dolphin arcing through the air beside the boat to her mum. The sheer joy radiating from the kids was making Hannah grin as they made their way along the dock system to reboard the Ballygowan.

Her own phone buzzed for her attention, and she pulled it free of her pocket.

‘It’s Ian,’ she said as she took the call. They’d only spoken a few hours before – he was doing well, out of hospital and happy to be home. It had surprised Hannah how relieved she had felt for him.

Chatting about stuff back home, how much he was looking forward to her return, it had gone some way towards softening her fears about what she would face once she got back. Somehow, the thought that they would deal with it together, sort it all out and begin to think about how to move forwards felt good. And logical. Nothing was a given, not yet. And letting Louis slip out of her heart was going to be a fight. Telling him it was over was easy compared to dealing with the feelings she’d developed for him. But it had seemed to be the only decision she could make, the only chance she had to sort her life out.

She pressed the phone to her ear and said her hellos to Ian, her grin turning to a frown when there was no reply.

‘Ian?’ she repeated, louder this time, earning a look of concern from Ruth. ‘He’s not replying…’

‘Is something wrong?’ Ruth asked.

‘Ian, are you OK? Can you hear me?’

With no reply, all Hannah could do was listen for clues. There was ambient noise, rustling and then an indistinct voice.

‘Anything?’ Ruth said.

Hannah shook her head. She was about to give up, end the call and phone back when the voices became more distinct. Voices, plural. One was Ian; the other was female.

Maybe Ian had phoned by accident – butt-dialled her or something when whoever she could hear had arrived. She knew he had people coming in to help him recuperate. But then the rustling gave way to a clearer listening environment, as though a covering had been pulled away from the phone, a sheet perhaps.

Hannah couldn’t make sense of what she was listening to, not at first. Then she stilled, Ruth and the kids stopping with her in surprise as other people spilled past them like a river around a cluster of rocks as she realised what she was listening to.

It couldn’t be… There was no way… Except there was nothing else it could be, no room for doubt after a while. She was listening to Ian having sex with someone.

‘Ian? What’s going on? I can hear you…’

The analytical side of her brain wanted to know how he was managing it with a broken leg, plus damaged ribs and shoulder; the rest of her shuddered away from wanting the details. Either way it was clear she wasn’t mistaken, her certainty compounded when suddenly everything went quiet and Ian’s breathless voice came clear through the handset, directly into her brain.

‘Shit… Hello?’

He sounded as shocked as she felt. ‘Hello, Ian. I’m here. You phoned me.’

‘No, I didn’t – I didn’t mean to… I…’

‘I don’t suppose you did. Not what I was expecting to hear when I picked up your call, if I’m being honest.’

‘No – it’s not… What do you think you heard?’