Page 61 of Escape to the Sun

‘I mean, you didn’t help yourself, flouncing off when the Olympic thing went wrong. It was a difficult time for all of us, not just you.’

Louis almost laughed, bit back his immediate response in favour of sarcasm. ‘Maybe you should have stopped after the apology?’

He braced himself, waiting for the conversation to spiral. Noticed Edward glancing across to where Ruth waited, was surprised when his father nodded in agreement.

‘Maybe you’re right. I think what I want to say is that I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight with you; I never did. And I appreciate that might be hard to accept, but I should have been better, should have been able to help you achieve your dreams. I failed you. And your mum? I couldn’t keep her safe, Louis. I couldn’t help her or make her better or protect her from what happened and⁠—’

Edward stopped speaking, his face creasing in the same way it had at the funeral, his grief raw and as painful for Louis to see as it had been back then, on that wet spring morning under the grey skies of the churchyard. But something had shifted in Louis. And it was on instinct now that he moved forward, wrapping his father in a hug and being rewarded when his father hugged him back with fierce intensity.

‘Can you forgive me?’ Edward said.

The words were muffled and choked, but Louis nodded into his shoulder, not caring when his own tears pricked and rolled down his cheeks, his regrets on his missed opportunities to spend time with his mother crowding into his mind and flooding his emotions.

‘Can you forgive me?’ he replied.

A decisive sniff and firm pat on his back had his father straightening. ‘Nothing to forgive, son. And by the way – huge congratulations on gaining that stripe. You will make the best captain Blue Line Cruising’s ever had.’

Louis pinched at his eyes and pulled in a breath. ‘No pressure then, Dad.’

Edward frowned, then shook his head. ‘Did I do it again?’

‘Yes, but it’s fine. I understand what you meant.’

They began to walk again, and it was as though someone had given Louis’ shoulders a massage. They felt looser and more relaxed than they had for years. Then Edward said, ‘Whatever happens, you do know I loved your mother with complete devotion, don’t you?’

It was the one aspect of his childhood and formative years Louis had never questioned.

‘I just wanted you to know.’

Edward glanced at Ruth and Louis understood, even if he had no idea how it was supposed to make him feel.

32

The Captain’s Christmas Dinner was to be held in a restaurant Hannah hadn’t yet visited. The Porthole was larger than the Vivaldi, but more exclusive than the Harvest Basket. Louis explained its choice – it would have the best views as they sailed past the Pitons – St Lucia’s iconic mountains.

With a buffet-style traditional Caribbean Christmas menu on offer, it also allowed for a more relaxed ambiance than the previous dinner Hannah had attended, as well as being able to cater to a far larger number of passengers.

It was sumptuously decorated with red-flocked walls and golden columns, would have been spectacular even without all the additional Christmas glitz; it reminded Hannah more than any other place on the Ballygowan of the image of a pirate ship she’d toyed with right at the start of the cruise. Back when she was in a very dark place and making crazy images in her head of the Ballygowan’s captain as a Long John Silver lookalike had been all that kept her going.

With a ceiling painted gold to reflect light from the chandeliers, the room had been further enhanced with a small forest of Christmas trees distributed between the tables, all decorated with matching red, gold and green-themed decorations and warm white lights. The effect was stunning, and she was glad she’d arrived promptly enough to admire it all before the place was heaving with diners.

Reggae Christmas carols were being played at a discreet volume by a small band in a corner, the familiarity of some of the tunes with an added Caribbean twist made her smile.

She accepted a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, telling herself it would be the only one she would need to consume this evening, a warm buzz still in place from the rum punches from their beach afternoon. She smiled as she glanced around, aware she knew nobody in the room but not feeling intimidated. Louis would be here any moment.

‘Oh, hi there. It’s Hannah, isn’t it?’

An officer, not dressed in white formal evening wear, instead in regular uniform, grinned in greeting. ‘We met on the bridge on day one. First Officer of the Watch Tim Price at your service.’

He extended a hand for her to shake, and while his warm and slightly clammy fingers encircled hers, he added, ‘The captain has spoken about you. A lot. He wanted me to ensure you’re being entertained while he briefs the bridge crew about the evening sail. He’ll be here soon.’

Hannah frowned. ‘That’s kind of you, Tim. I’m fine though. I was just admiring this beautiful room.’

‘I think it’s a bit old-school, if I’m being honest. Very sumptuous and rich, like something you’d see in Buckingham Palace, minus the corgis. I wonder what happened to the corgis, when the old queen died. Do you think they had them embalmed and shoved in with her to keep her company, like they did with the Pharaohs?’

‘Um, no. Probably not.’ Hannah pulled her hand from his and took a sip of champagne.

‘Just a joke. So, how’s it all going with our brand-new captain, then? It’s a wonder he can concentrate on his job with someone like you on board. You’ve turned heads – that’s for sure.’