Page 34 of Escape to the Sun

‘It is possible to damage yourself by drinking too much, of course it is – in lots of different ways. It’s never a good idea. I had a great aunt who seriously overdid the sherry, and she ended up suffering from a form of dementia as a result, not that it was hugely well recognised back then – they just thought she was getting forgetful. Kept putting her electric kettle on the hob. Anyway, I’ve strayed from the point.’

‘As usual.’

‘Do you want to go and feed Portus, or not?’

‘I thought you said you were allergic. Strange that you’ve never said anything before – not even when we go round to Auntie Kelly’s and she’s got two Siamese cats.’

Ruth frowned. Cornered, by a twelve-year-old.

Millie arched her eyebrows – looking for a fraction of a second like Ruth’s great-uncle Clive, not that Ruth was going to tell her as much – and then said, with the kind of authority most adults would love to conjure, ‘You just said that so Hannah would get to go to the bridge and see Captain Louis more, didn’t you?’

Ruth shrugged. ‘Busted.’

And then, like flicking a switch, Millie was a little girl again as she threaded her hand into Ruth’s and squeezed.

‘Well, maybe we should go together today, while Hannah is resting, and then she can take me tomorrow.’

Ruth didn’t think she’d ever loved her daughter more than she did in that moment.

‘Good idea, Mils. Let’s go.’

Hannah might have retreated into her cabin while she recovered from her hangover, but since then she’d made the most of her time in the art gallery.

It was bliss, to be honest, and went some way to quieting the roaring sense of failure she couldn’t manage to ignore.

It felt legitimate, to be able to spend as much time as necessary surrounded by paints. She’d finished the canvas containing the still life. It was, she decided, a bit boring, especially when she glanced across at Millie’s painting, still on the neighbouring easel.

If she was being honest, Hannah was pleased Millie hadn’t returned to paint anything else, at least not yet. It was exactly what she needed: some time on her own, allowing herself to disappear into a creative bubble, the like of which she’d not had the opportunity to experience for too many years.

Life had fallen into a very predictable pattern, if she thought about it, and while planning for the wedding had lifted some of the everyday-ness of her life, alongside the booking of this cruise, she hadn’t truly allowed her imagination to run riot until… Hannah swallowed. Until she’d met Louis King. Since then, her imagination had done little else but run riot.

Hence this new painting. The idea was that the painting would appear to be one thing – a piece of botanical art – on one level, but on closer inspection, smaller scenes would reveal themselves. Hannah had no idea whether she could pull it off, and the challenge thrilled her. It also gave her something to focus on, something that was completely under her own control. Whatever the result – good or bad – the journey was hers alone. She needed to rely on nobody else for a positive outcome. And suddenly, that seemed important.

As she worked on the base colours on the canvas, Hannah thought back to the formal dinner, cringing again at her stupidity. She remembered almost all of it now, with unwelcome clarity. Remembered the kiss in the lift, which had felt so damn good and had propelled her into forcing Louis’ hand – unfortunately not in a good way. Colour threatened her cheeks again at her own double entendre; she just couldn’t seem to think about the bloke without her mind delving into smutty inuendoes…

And although he’d been a complete gentleman in her cabin – Ruth’s term fitted Louis perfectly – and even though he’d told her he wasn’t rejecting her, he hadn’t exactly rushed to make contact again. They hadn’t even swapped numbers, like she had with Millie and Ruth. Not once had she or Louis even mentioned it.

Now she wasn’t sure if that had been completely stupid on her behalf, or a sense of self-preservation on his. No doubt the last thing he wanted was to be pestered by some random woman while he was busy captaining the Ballygowan.

‘Hi, Hannah. How are you doing today?’

The voice came from behind, belonged to Millie and showed that she wasn’t too difficult for a pre-teen to find, and yet seemed out of radar for the captain.

She pulled in a breath. ‘I’m all good today. How about you?’

‘Looking forward to getting to the actual Caribbean. I mean, it’s been awesome seeing the whole of the Atlantic ocean – I’m pretty sure I’ve seen lots of whales, even though Mum keeps telling me we’re too high up to be able to tell, unless they break the surface and she thinks the ship is too big for them to want to do that, but still – I really want to see dolphins and Mum promised we can go on an excursion and see them and now I just want to get there so we can.’

Hannah smiled. Trust Millie to brighten any mood. ‘It’s exciting, isn’t it? I want to go snorkelling.’ She pulled a worried face. ‘I’ve never done it before, and, as you know, I don’t want to go anywhere close to any sharks, but I’m determined to try it.’

‘Ooh, yes. Snorkelling is on my list, for sure.’ Millie frowned, pulling a three-legged stool closer to Hannah and sitting on it. ‘Thing is, I know it cost Mum a lot of money for us to come on this cruise in the first place, so I don’t want to ask for too much extra stuff.’

Hannah leant into her. ‘Let you into a secret, Millie. This cost me most of my money, too. But I’m not likely to do anything like this again, so I’m going to go for it. You can come with me if you like. I’m sure your mum will be fine with it. Just ask her.’

‘I suppose I could have it as my Christmas present.’ Millie peered at her feet. ‘Although I did ask for some trainers, and she might have already got those.’

‘We’ll sort something out, one way or another,’ Hannah said.

‘Do you want to come with me to the bridge?’ The grin on Millie’s face suggested the question was not without guile. ‘To check on Portus, obviously. You did say you would…’