Page 24 of Escape to the Sun

Louis leant forward. ‘To be honest, I think most of them were added by Hamish purely to embarrass me.’

‘Like the one about you being single?’ The words were out before she’d filtered them, but he didn’t seem perturbed.

‘I’ve never been very good at talking about personal stuff. My upbringing was pressured – it hasn’t made for the best relationship with my father, but that’s life, I suppose.’

Hannah nodded. ‘Do you have any brothers or sisters?’

‘No. Just me. How about you?’

‘An older sister – she’s married and busy with her two boys. And a little brother with an amazing imagination – he likes drawing famous buildings, then adds in prehistoric animals. Pterodactyls, T. Rex – that kind of thing.’

‘Awesome. How old is he?’

‘Nine.’

‘Still a baby, then.’ His gaze, warm and settled on her in a way she would like to have made permanent, if possible, suggested he was considering the age gap between her and her brother – everyone always did, followed rapidly by the conversation about the fact he was adopted – but Louis made no such comment. Instead, he said, ‘So that’s two artists in your family?’

Hannah smiled. She’d stopped thinking of herself in those terms. Those dreams had faded alongside the abandonment of her other aspirations when she’d got serious with Ian and settled for a life working in the family deli. But here, on the Ballygowan, she was Hannah, the artist. Or she could be, if she wanted it.

‘Maybe. Back in the dim and distant past I hoped I might make art central to my life. Work in an art gallery or something.’

‘You changed your mind?’

‘I think life changed it for me. It wasn’t meant to be.’

She shrugged, taking the last mouthful of latte to give her time to build up enough courage to be the bold, impetuous person she wanted to be.

Louis beat her to it. ‘Never give up on your dreams… Isn’t that what they say?’

She smiled. If only it were that simple.

‘So, feel free to ignore me,’ he continued, ‘but I’m just going to come out and ask. Ruth let slip the other evening that you’re not involved with anyone, romantically, I mean. And yet you’re in Ballygowan’s honeymoon suite. Hannah, what happened?’

14

The captain instantly looked embarrassed, frowning and leaning back in his seat. Withdrawing. His expression shifted to neutral, as though he was preparing himself for the rebuff he was expecting.

‘It’s none of my business.’

‘No. It’s completely fine,’ Hannah said. Only a few days previously she’d believed she would never be able to talk about what had happened with Ian, but now there was nothing she wanted more than to pull herself from the wreckage of what had been and begin to move forwards.

‘It’s really not,’ he said, glancing away.

Hannah felt the absence of his gaze like passing clouds covering the sun and surprised herself by saying, ‘Louis, look at me. It’s fine. I would like to explain.’

With his gaze back in place, she slowly unburdened herself. This time without the emotional overload she’d felt when she told Ruth. Her detachment from Ian still seemed wrong, even after everything he’d done – but somehow the expression on Louis’ face, calm and patient, was something Hannah wanted more than having to think about what was waiting for her at home.

When she was done, Hannah waited for Louis to pass judgement or at least offer advice like Ruth had.

‘I nearly got married once,’ he said.

Not what she’d expected. Was he about to make her situation all about himself?

‘We were probably way too young,’ he said, ‘And although I’d been thinking about it, about asking her, we weren’t even engaged when we broke up – so not at all like your situation, as it turns out. But what I wanted to say is I understand a little of how much it hurts when someone you love that much leaves your life. Especially when they destroy trust in such a massive way.’ Louis frowned, studying her before he added, ‘It broke me, when Annie left me for someone else. I hid away for months afterwards. Not sure I ever fully recovered if I’m being totally honest. What I’m trying to say is I think you are incredibly brave to have taken this trip, knowing what it could have meant to you.’

Hannah gave a wry smile. ‘Actually, I couldn’t get my money back – stupidly I forgot to take out holiday insurance; can you believe that? So, I didn’t really have much of a choice.’

‘’Course you did.’ Louis frowned, the expression only making his face more interesting. ‘Anyway, I’m really pleased you’re here.’