Page 19 of Escape to the Sun

‘Martin – would you send a bridge visit invitation to the guests in cabin 33-42? And could you personalise it, make it from Portus?’

Martin quirked a smile. ‘We have a cat lover aboard?’

Louis nodded. ‘A young girl – Millie. Can you make it for her, her brother and mum, please. Check for their details?’

‘Of course, sir.’

Louis shook his head. ‘I don’t think I deserve that title this morning. Sorry I was a bit abrupt earlier.’

‘You’ve got a lot on your plate. We’re all allowed an off moment.’ Martin grinned. ‘You must have been on the bridge when Captain Crowther had one of his tantrums?’

Louis tilted his head. He had been on the bridge for plenty of incidents when senior officers lost their cool. He’d always put it down to their stress levels without applying the same logic to himself.

‘None of us are Superman,’ Martin added. ‘Don’t beat yourself up about it.’

Louis managed a thin smile. Martin wasn’t to know that was an expression which bit deep. Was, if he thought about it, one of the earliest memories he had for the beginnings of his difficulties with his father.

It had happened after a selection race where, despite his best efforts, Louis had finished up second. The look on his father’s face had prompted Louis to explode with frustration, telling his father he wasn’t fucking Superman, and had done his best.

‘Never enough, though, is it?’ his father had said as he turned and walked away. As usual, back then, his mum was there to wrap him up in one of her fierce hugs, her head pressed firmly against his ribcage, the smell of her favourite hair product, a mix of rosemary and mint assailing his nostrils as he hugged her back, even though his arms were screaming with exhausted lactic acid and his legs felt like jelly.

And even though his mum always said the right things and had backed Louis all the way, telling him the only thing that truly mattered was being happy, and she didn’t care if he made the Olympic squad or worked down the local chippy, Louis hadn’t ever felt truly fulfilled. Had craved his father’s approval, even when they were screaming at one another. Had spent his entire life trying to achieve things, to be the best… but to what end?

Blowing out his cheeks, Louis waved a finger at Martin.

‘Can you add another name to that invitation list?’

‘Sure.’

‘The lady in 70-69 – Hannah.’

Martin’s eyebrows did a good impersonation of gulls taking off from open sea before he managed to control them. ‘A second invitation?’

The grin seeping across Martin’s face had embarrassed heat creeping up Louis’ throat.

‘She liked the cat,’ Louis said.

Martin’s eyebrows soared again.

‘Just write the invitations, please, Martin.’

Martin’s grin widened as he turned to leave. ‘Of course, Captain. Whatever you say.’

12

Ruth wandered along the portside avenue, tipping her face to bask in the sunshine as Millie chatted freely alongside her. Sometimes Ruth could believe everything was fine in her world, and this was one of those moments. It had been a good decision to empty her savings account and play fast and loose with her kids’ education by taking them out of school for a few weeks if the result was Millie returning to her former, carefree self, nattering nineteen to the dozen about whatever was on her mind.

Currently it was about the birds who lived in the Azores.

‘Did you know there are canaries here, also blackbirds? I looked it up. It’s like a mixture of home and not-home, all at the same time. And they have a special bullfinch that only lives on these islands. But I don’t think they have parrots. At least, I’m not sure about that. I’d love to see a parrot in the wild. Like, properly wild, living where it’s supposed to, you know?’

Ruth smiled and nodded. Maybe she could avoid the school fines if she explained how much Millie had already learnt just by setting foot outside her usual habitat. Although she wasn’t sure the same would be true of Nathan. Walking ahead of them, he kept his hands deep in the pockets of his cargo shorts, his pale spindly teenage legs propelling him forwards in a slumpy, grumpy walk as he focused on the ground. Didn’t want to be seen walking with them, didn’t want to engage with anything around himself either.

She supposed she should be grateful he’d agreed to leave the ship at all.

‘We’ll see them in the Caribbean, I’m sure,’ Millie said.

‘See what, sweetheart?’