Page 160 of Bitterness of Spirit & The Painting

“I am deeply grateful for your concern. I do not dare hope it came from more than a genuine friendship and I will be content with it, for as long as you wish me to be.”

Her knees were as weak as her voice. “I do not dare speak of where my concern came from…but I know it was much more than I have felt for any other friends, ever before.”

“Was it? Are you certain? I do not doubt your words and I know you are too generous to trifle with me. But I fear to believe that I understand you correctly.”

Her hands were still in his and she began to move her fingers, brushing over his, in a response that was more reassuring than words.

“You should not fear, sir. All is too soon and too hasty and I struggle to know my own heart yet. But what I am certain of, is that I have friends enough for whom I care deeply, in a completely different way.”

He kissed her hands again, this time his lips pressing longer and warmer on her skin, and the pleasure she felt was as powerful as a burn.

“I should leave now, as you said,” she repeated. “But you still have not answered my question. Are you well?”

“I am unharmed, but I am not well.”

“Would you tell me why? Is there anything I can do to help you?”

“No. Come, Miss Bennet, let me escort you home now. I will call on you tomorrow after breakfast and hopefully I might accompany you for a walk, in full daylight.” He attempted to smile and she felt her cheeks burning just like her hands had done when he had kissed them.

“Very well then. I do not want to force your trust,” she accepted.

“Miss Bennet, there is nobody I trust more than you. I would open my heart to you with complete confidence, if I dared to burden you with my turmoil.”

Despite his attempt to sound composed, she did not miss the weight of his words, nor the frown on his handsome face.

“Would you be able to sleep if we returned home now.”

“No.” he admitted.

“Neither would I. I feel I need some more exercise, if you would be so kind as to join me. And if you wish to.”

“I do, but…”

“Yes, I agree we are in danger of being seen. What is the worst that might happen?” she asked, embarrassed by her boldness.

He knew she was fully aware of the consequences, but he indulged her with the answer.

“You might be compromised and forced to marry me.”

She paused a moment, then replied, “I believe there are greater misfortunes than that, and a walk would be worth the risk.” The sparkle in her eyes was as bright as the stars and the beating of his heart was as strong as hers.

“I would not wish you to be forced into anything against your will, Miss Bennet.”

“I have been pleading with you to join me for a walk for quite some time, Mr Darcy. Do you still question my will?”

She grasped his arm, and he put his hands over hers in silent agreement.

“I am troubled about my mother. She is the reason that I came here, to Brighton. I never dreamed that, following my mother’s past, I would meet you again.”

“I know that you came here for your mother and you wished to meet her old friends.”

“Yes, but there is much more that I have not said and it will remain forever hidden from any soul except you, Miss Bennet.”

“It will be as you wish.” She whispered a solemn promise that he did not doubt.

“It all began thirteen years ago…the summer my mother passed away…”

He continued to speak while they walked on at a slow pace. Eventually, they both sat, as the story became burdensome. He was facing the water and she looked at him as his turmoil was slowly unfolding.