Page 98 of The Mistress of All & Torn

Torn between her desires and his, between decorum and imprudence, Elizabeth walked in silence for a while. Bingley and Jane were ahead, Cece and Georgiana at Elizabeth’s side. Darcy remained behind, as silent as ever.

The crest of Oakham Mount appeared in their sights and they hurried their pace. While the familiar view unfolded before their eyes, Elizabeth suddenly turned. Darcy was so surprised that he almost brushed against her.

“Mr. Darcy, I apologise if you feel I am being disrespectful towards your wishes, but I cannot go any longer without thanking you for everything you have done for me and my family,” she said, disquieted.

“This is precisely why I gave your father the ring. I know how valuable it is to you and I did not want to receive more credit than I deserved.”

“You must allow me to repay your expenses. The amount you put down to retrieve the ring must have been significant. It is not your duty to pay for Lord Barrington’s deception.”

“Let us debate this subject on another occasion,” he said. “It is too lovely a place and a day to argue over the past. From what I heard, you have also engaged in quite significant expenses for the benefit of others.”

“This is different. You attempt to twist the truth for your convenience, sir. It is quite selfish to offer so much and to reject any praise for your generosity,” she attempted to tease him.

“I could easily say the same about you, Lady Barrington. Miss Bennet…”

“How unfortunate that we have so much in common,” she continued in the same tone.

They resumed their walk, then stopped again. The others were already a slight distance ahead, admiring the view.

“Have you concluded all your business in town?” she enquired.

“Everything that was urgent. The rest can wait.”

“I understand you have met my uncle several times. My father told me as much.”

“Yes, we met at the club. My cousin, the viscount, and my uncle joined us once, as well as Mr. Reeves and Mr. Thorn.”

“It seems the club is usually crowded with the most important gentlemen in London. My uncle’s presence there must have been puzzling for many,” Elizabeth smiled meaningfully.

“Yes,” Darcy admitted, glancing at her. “Indeed. However, once they understood I was a friend of the family, and he is well acquainted with my own family, there were no more rumours.”

Elizabeth stopped again and he did the same.

“I can see now that you remained in town mostly for business related to me: to help my uncle extend his business and to retrieve my ring. And to thwart the gossip which must have been so distressing for you. You have ruined your summer plans entirely for me and had to bear harmful rumours. Can you deny it? I am sure you will not accept my gratitude, but will you at least admit this to me?”

He breathed deeply, glanced around at the others, then said, “There were three main reasons that I stayed in town, despite my desire to accept Bingley’s invitation and my sister’s insistence in doing so. The first was to avoid more speculation regarding my continuous presence near you. I purposely allowed myself to be seen all over town, in your uncle’s company or with other acquaintances, after you left. The second one was to allow you the chance to prove your worthiness, your strength, your dedication in following in Lady Sedgewick’s footsteps.”

She listened to him, confused and curious about his meaning.

“The ridiculous gossip insinuating the impropriety of my involvement had mostly ceased. But the universal opinion is that you—as a woman raised on a small country estate—could not possibly meet the high expectations attached to Lady Sedgewick’s legacy. Your actions during the last weeks—especially those at Old Oak School—revealed that you are perfectly suitable to be the mistress of such a fortune.”

His dark, penetrating gaze added even more weight to his powerful statement. Unlike the last time when he was confused by his admiration for her, he was now calm, composed, certain of his words and was expecting no answer from her.

“Thank you, sir. Your support gave me strength and self-confidence.”

“You already had the strength that induced you to confront Lord Barrington, jeopardising your own life,” he said with a warm smile.

They took a few more steps, the silence covering their mutual emotions.

“And the third one?” she enquired.

“Excuse me?”

“The third reason that you stayed in town? You promised to reveal it to me,” she spoke, half in jest, to overcome his apparent hesitation.

“It was a selfish one… I confess that lately my life has been closely attached to your presence. It was time to break that bond, at least for a few weeks. To live in your absence, without counting the hours until you might need my assistance again.”

His voice was hoarse and his words hesitant, completely opposite to his previous statements. He walked with his shoulders down, avoiding her enquiring look.