Page 53 of The Mistress of All & Torn

“It was my pleasure, I assure you. Please do not hesitate to ask me for anything you may need, Miss Bennet...I still hesitate to behave as I feel, as I fear I might impose on you.”

“Please do not hesitate to behave as you feel, Mr. Darcy. You could never impose on me, I assure you. I value your friendship more than anything, and I still wonder how I gained your forgiveness so easily.”

“Because there was nothing to forgive. Your wrongs to me were mostly caused by my own wrongs to you.”

“Let us call it a truce then,” she concluded.

“Gladly,” he replied. “Good night, Miss Bennet.”

“Good night, Mr. Darcy.”

Chapter 17

Sleep evaded Darcy all night; at dawn, Bingley and Mr. Gardiner left for Surrey, as planned.

His life had utterly changed in the last week, and he felt caught up in a storm of happy sorrow and painful exultation, torn between gratitude that Elizabeth had returned to his life and grief for everything she had been forced to endure. And guilt—a deep, burdening guilt and self-blame for causing the circumstances that left Elizabeth with no support and no choice.

For six months he had pined after her, struggling to conceal his growing love, and cowardly distancing himself from her. Then he met her again in Kent and finally ended the inner battle that had tormented him for so long. He proposed to her and, while he was certain that day would be the blissful beginning of a new life, it turned into a nightmare after she rejected him most harshly.

His wounded heart had found only slight palliation before he returned to London and learned she was already married to another man. He remembered being stunned, doubtful, angry and offended. She had rejected him but had readily accepted another man with whom she was barely acquainted. A man who he—Darcy—knew well enough to despise. A man with shallow character, little honour and an apparent inclination towards dissipation and extravagance. She could not possibly love Barrington—she had no time to have grown true feelings—and still, she preferred him.

Resentment and fury had defeated his reason for days and nights until he unexpectedly encountered her. He was with Georgiana and they barely spoke at all, but those few words Elizabeth tentatively addressed to him revealed the misery and the sadness hidden behind her new position as Lady Barrington. He understood that, once again, he had been selfish and thoughtless, caring only for his own distress.

Fortunately, he had been able to remedy his ungenerous interference between Bingley and Miss Jane Bennet. He was relieved and content seeing his friend reunited with the woman he loved and who returned his affection.

Reports and gossip about Barrington’s hasty marriage and his new wife ran around the town, as she had not been introduced in society before the couple moved to the Barrington estate. The only certainty was Barrington's connection with the Countess of Sedgewick, whose charities were renowned amongst the ton.

The rumours were painful and tormenting for Darcy, reminding him that he had lost her forever and, even worse, that she had little chance of happiness with that rascal. During restless nights, dark images of Elizabeth sharing her life with an unworthy man who could not appreciate, admire and love her as she deserved, haunted him.

Helpless and distressed, he tried to gather news from Bingley, who was happily married and living in the comfort of Netherfield. Although now part of the Bennet family, Bingley knew little of his titled sister-in-law, except for several letters written by her at the beginning of her marriage.

Then one day, the Bingleys arrived in town, frightened and apprehensive about their sister’s well being, devastated that Barrington would not allow them to see her and begging Darcy to help them draw up a plan for Elizabeth’s recovery.

Only a week had passed since then—a week as long as a year—and just four days since Elizabeth found shelter in his house, hiding from the dreadful memories of her short marriage. What they discovered was worse than he had imagined and his darkest thoughts were insignificant compared to the reality Elizabeth had been forced to endure.

Fortunately, Barrington was dead, otherwise Darcy would have killed him with his bare hands, with no hesitation and no remorse.

The door opened suddenly and hasty steps followed by a loud, excited voice interrupted Darcy’s reflections.

“Cousin! I hope I am not disturbing you—the footman told me you were awake. I knew I would find you in the library.”

“Robert. You never disturb me. How are you? When did you arrive from your regiment?”

“Last night. I came to see you immediately. My mother told me the most extraordinary news. I could hardly believe that Miss Bennet was involved in such a tragedy. I mean Lady Barrington. Is she still here? And Bingley? Is he here too?”

“Calm yourself, Cousin. Have you had breakfast? Would you like anything?”

“Only some coffee; it was too early for breakfast, my parents have not left their apartment yet. But I am not hungry. So? Tell me!”

“It is a long story and yes, quite extraordinary—in the worst possible way. Lady Barrington is here with her sister—Mrs. Bingley. Her uncle, Mr. Gardiner, and Bingley are engaged in a journey towards Surrey. They just left.”

“Why?”

“They are searching for a young lady—the Countess of Sedgewick’s protégée—who was thrown out of the house by Barrington. I will explain it to you.”

Darcy began to relate to the colonel the horrifying tale. He carefully revealed only those facts that were publicly known. His private conversations with Elizabeth were protected from any indiscretion inside his mind and his heart.

“So Bingley and Mr. Gardiner were there and Barrington refused to let them in? Upon my word, I would have barged in and strangled the bastard with my bare hands!” the colonel shouted angrily.