Page 3 of The Mistress of All & Torn

He chose a chair at the small table and she sat on the edge of the bed.

“Mr. Darcy, I know I have no right to expect any more favours from you. However, despite everything that has occurred between us—or perhaps precisely because of our past—you are the person I trust the most. I shall never forget that, even after I offended you so undeservingly and I accused you most unjustly, you still granted me your confidence and revealed to me in that letter the secret that could harm your sister’s life. You believed in my honesty, even when I had given you every reason to think otherwise.”

“I never doubted your character, Lady…Miss Bennet.”

She smiled sadly. “Then you are more generous with me than I am with myself. Most other men—probably any other man—would see my present situation as a triumph. Any man’s vanity would be satisfied to know that the proposal I had proudly spurned less than four months ago was the first step into the dark, deep hole that has been my life since then. Perhaps you do feel the triumph too—you may be one of the most generous of your sex, but you are still a mortal.”

She dared look at him and saw his frown of disbelief.

“Lady Barrington… Miss Bennet, I assure you such feelings have always been far from my mind. Even when I was upset, angry and disappointed by being unexpectedly rejected, I never wished you anything else but happiness and…”

She interrupted him.

“Sir, I do not doubt your good intentions and your generosity. I know that you are the one responsible for my present freedom.”

“I deserve no such praise, I assure you. I did nothing but accompany Bingley in his search for you.”

“You did so much more, and your refusal to accept my gratitude only pains me even more. It reveals more clearly my past foolishness, my prejudice and my blindness.”

“I do not wish to pain you… Tell me what I can do to bring you some relief, some peace. I know that only time can heal your wounds but if there is something I can do myself…”

She nodded, lowering her eyes.

“As I said, there is a matter in which I need your support. I know I have no right to ask, but…”

She paused and looked at him; their eyes met and locked, while she continued in a trembling voice.

“I once said you were the last man in the world...Now, I will confess you are the only man in the world in whom I can confide. I trust your character, your knowledge, your experience, your strength, your courage. Since I do not deserve either your protection or your friendship, I must beg for your support.”

He moved his chair closer and gently took her hands. His touch made her startle but she did not withdraw from him.

His eyes were still locked with hers, and his dark gaze penetrated her soul as he spoke.

“Miss Bennet—I will say this only once, then I will be silent on this subject forever unless you open it again yourself. My feelings have not changed since last April. I never thought less of you and even if I was indeed angry for a while, it soon passed. Your wellbeing has always been my concern and I would willingly have done anything in my power to relieve your suffering earlier if I had known your true circumstances. As it is now, you may rely on me for anything you need.”

“Thank you,” she struggled to reply. His confession about his feelings still being the same made her heart ache, but for the moment she buried it with her frozen soul and her troubled mind. It was not the time for such a discussion or even reflections.

“Mr. Darcy, I am not sure if Mr. Bingley offered you any details. My situation is a most peculiar one, with regards to my inheritance. From the very beginning, this marriage was based on my h… on Lord Barrington, his mother and some of his cousins and friends’ greed and their plans to deceive the Countess of Sedgewick—God rest her soul. Most of Barrington’s wealth had been long wasted on the earl’s depraved lifestyle.”

“Most of us were aware of Barrington’s character and he was not welcome in many honourable families. I know little of the peculiarity of your circumstances but I suspect enough.”

She withdrew one hand to wipe her tears. “Sadly, I did not find all this out until it was too late. Nobody warned me, I was hurried into accepting his marriage proposal, my family’s future seemed hopeless and…”

She paused and he patiently waited for her to continue. Her suffering was devastating to witness but he did not dare attempt any more comforting gestures.

“Two days ago, when I left the Barrington estate, my mother-in-law threatened me. She demanded that I leave, as I had no right to be there.”

“That I remember, as I was there. Lady Augusta was shocked and grieved by her son’s death and her words should not be taken in earnest.”

“Yes, they should. She was part of the conspiracy from the beginning and she allowed, excused and even encouraged her son’s dreadful behaviour. She caused widespread suffering, just like him.”

Her perturbation grew with every word and she suddenly stood, pacing the room. He remained sitting on the chair.

“There are two trustees that were appointed to make decisions, together with Lady Sedgewick, regarding Lord and Lady Sedgewick’s private fortune—those monies and properties not attached to his title. Prior to my wedding and a week after it, I signed many papers that I cannot clearly remember. I know there was a settlement—approved by my uncle Gardiner after he carefully analysed it with two solicitors of his acquaintance. It stipulated a substantial sum of money to be given to my family on my wedding day, meant to assure them a comfortable future. At least at that time, I believed it to be a very generous sum, without knowing the price I would be required to pay for it.”

Another pause, then more silent waiting.

“I know there was another significant part of the fortune granted to me directly, in jewels, pin money, and an annual allowance, and a very detailed arrangement for my future children—Lord Barrington’s future children, of course—distinctly settled for sons and daughters.”