Page 177 of The Mistress of All & Torn

Shortly, the news of Colonel Fitzwilliam marrying Lady Catherine’s daughter—who had been engaged to Darcy for ages—fell like thunder among the ton and reached Brighton within days.

The Bennets, the Gardiners, even Bingley and Jane, as well as Lady Kendal and Lord Alveston, were astounded, talking about the subject for days. None of them had suspected anything of the sort, and such an ending was extraordinary.

Elizabeth’s silence on the subject and her low disposition did not go unnoticed. Her father and her aunt Gardiner mentioned it several times, and her insistence in dismissing their worry only increased it.

At the beginning of August, on one of the days when Elizabeth insisted on working in the study by herself while her entire family was on the beach, Lady Kendal approached her.

“My dear, we must talk. It has been long enough,” her ladyship said.

Elizabeth looked up, puzzled. “Long enough? What has been long enough?”

“Your suffering. I can bear it no longer, and neither can Philip. What can we do to alleviate your grief?”

“My grief?” Elizabeth held her book tightly to conceal the trembling of her hands. “There is nothing to be done. I deeply apologise if I gave you reason to worry.”

“Reason to worry? My dear, you are not yourself anymore. We have all noticed that, and I beg you to tell me how I may help you.”

“I apologise,” Elizabeth repeated. “There is no need for any help.”

Lady Kendal moved closer and set the book aside. She gently took Elizabeth’s cold fingers into her warm hands.

“I can imagine how much you have suffered. I could see how close you were, how well suited you were, and your mutual affection was apparent.”

Elizabeth withdrew her hands, hiding them in her lap. She dared to look at her companion. Her ladyship’s countenance showed nothing but care, affection, and understanding.

“Philip noticed too—long ago. He was worried you might break your engagement to him.”

“I would never do that. You must know that.”

“I do know, my dear, and I am grateful for your loyalty. But I can only imagine how hard it was for you to hear he had married your close friend. It must be terrible to be torn between your love for a man and your loyalty to the friend that married him.”

The last words sounded strange to Elizabeth, and she needed a moment to comprehend them. She looked at Lady Kendal, who wore the same comforting, affectionate smile shadowed by concern.

“You think I suffer for Colonel Fitzwilliam? That he married Anne?” she exclaimed in disbelief.

“Do you not?” Lady Kendal enquired, struck by the genuine surprise on Elizabeth’s face.

“Certainly not!” she replied decidedly, relieved that she did not have to lie about the most important secret of her life. “Why would you believe that? Philip mentioned it several times in the past, but I hoped he had long put aside such unjustified worries.”

“Is that not the reason for your melancholy?”

“Dear Lord, no! I am happy to call the colonel a friend, and Anne and Georgiana are as dear to my heart as if they were my sisters. I pray for them to be happy. Their joy is mine too!”

Lady Kendal sat down in the nearest chair and sighed several times, rubbing her hands together.

“My dear girl, I cannot tell you how relieved I am! And so shall Philip be. All this time we feared… If you only knew! Thank you, dear Lord! Are you well, then? May I be of any help to you?”

“Please calm yourself, Lady Kendal. I might be overwhelmed by all the duties that are expected of me. And perhaps a little bit tired by so much sea and sun and activity. But it will pass soon.”

Lady Kendal rose, went to the door then returned.

“My dear, I hesitated to tell you, precisely because I presumed your thoughts were elsewhere. We received the marriage licence a while ago. If you approve, you might wed at any time. Since all your family is here, I wonder if you would consider a wedding here in Brighton. It might be more comfortable than in London, and I could speak to the bishop myself.”

Elizabeth knocked the book off the desk, then hurried to pick it up. She needed a moment to breathe and to swallow the lump in her throat.

“I see no reason for further delay,” she finally answered, struggling to smile. She imagined they were anxious she might change her mind.

Although Lady Kendal and Philip had completely misjudged the recipient of her sorrow, the entire conversation made Elizabeth appreciate even more their care in not pressing her and their respect for her feelings. They deserved no less deference, so she continued brightly, “Indeed, we are all here. There can be no better opportunity. Please make all the arrangements. I will heartily agree to any suggestion.”