Page 17 of The Mistress of All & Torn

“I confess I suspected Lord Barrington had a peculiar admiration for Jane. I am certain Jane has no tender feelings for him and I do not fear his proposing to me might upset her. He expressed himself with respect and wisdom. He needs a wife to comply with his duties. Someone to gain Lady Sedgewick’s approval and to prove capable of carrying on the responsibilities attached to the position.”

“Lizzy, I strongly believe any discussion about marriage is ridiculous!” Mrs. Gardiner interjected, in a growing state of perturbation. “You barely know each other! I never suspected any partiality on either side! I cannot even remember any meaningful conversation between you.”

“I do not deny that. And neither would Lord Barrington. I do appreciate his honesty. He did not proclaim any false affection. He offered me a secure future for our family, in exchange for my companionship and my commitment to carrying out his family’s requests.”

“But Lizzy, why so soon? And why would he propose to you, someone with no connection to him and so far outside his circle? Could he not find a lady from his acquaintances?” Mr. Gardiner enquired, worried.

Memories invaded her again. All the causes of repugnance from Darcy’s speech, all the objections that ‘required the utmost force of passion to put aside’—as he had written in his letter—echoed in her mind. Surely they were as much an evil for Lord Barrington as they had been for Darcy—even more so since the earl was a titled man. Except that he had never met her mother and younger sisters and so had no reason to disapprove of their behaviour. The marital arrangement he suggested appeared to have other benefits for him, that surpassed want of decorum. Also, Lord Barrington was—presumably—far from observing all the rules of propriety himself—and he was not ashamed to admit it.

“I have no answers to these questions, Uncle. As he already mentioned to us several times, he is expected to marry a gentleman’s daughter, willing to take over Lady Sedgewick’s charities, an honourable and educated woman, acceptable to London’s society. However, I dare say he would prefer a wife who was willing to work hard, instead of a spoiled, rich heiress that would likely be bored and tired by any daunting task.”

The Gardiners glanced at each other, sharing their disbelief.

“Lizzy, I cannot believe we are even considering such a choice,” Mr. Gardiner said.

“How could we not, Uncle? Let us be honest—only days ago we were devastated with grief for Papa and worry for our future. Our family could face the darkest tragedy at any moment. I would give anything to see Papa healthy and I would gladly take his suffering upon myself. But I cannot do that. However, I can provide a little palliation and comfort to my mother and sisters.”

“But Lizzy, you have always dreamed of marrying for love,” Mrs. Gardiner said. “And I know you were very fond of Mr. Wickham and...”

“Mr. Wickham is the last person in my thoughts, I assure you!” Elizabeth answered angrily. “I have had no opportunity to share it with you, but during my stay in Kent I heard some information that revealed his true character—and it is nothing like we were led to believe. He is not worthy of even speaking of.”

“How astonishing! You have not mentioned anything of him until now!” Mrs. Gardiner replied.

“Because it was not worth wasting our time. We had much more important matters to worry about,” Elizabeth replied harshly. “As for my childish dreams, it is time to put them aside. Fate has pushed us down this tortuous path and we cannot see the end of our journey. We must walk on with whatever support we may find.”

“Lizzy dear, you are upset...grieved...I can see you suffer...Let us calm down and reflect on the situation thoroughly. There is no rush. Brother Bennet might recover anytime...and I will put my business in order soon.”

“Uncle, these are groundless hopes, we all know that! I have no doubt that you will settle your business eventually, but it will take time. As for Papa—we can do little but follow the doctors’ recommendations, and pray. If tragedy strikes, Mr. Collins will surely claim his property immediately. You cannot afford to support all six of us, in addition to your own family!”

“We will find a way, Lizzy!” Mrs. Gardiner declared.

“Perhaps, Aunt. But at great cost to you and great inconvenience to your children! And it would still be very difficult for all of us. Why would I demand such a sacrifice from others, instead of assuming the responsibility myself?”

“Lizzy, we will find a way,” Mr. Gardiner insisted.

“What way? I would gladly take employment, but it would not afford us a reasonable life. And you know too well that if Jane was in my place, she would have accepted the proposal immediately for the safety of the family!”

“Lizzy, let us calm down,” Mrs. Gardiner pleaded.

“I am very calm, Aunt. And the more we speak, the more I see there can only be one decision. Why must everyone suffer when I can give up some childish, romantic dreams and accept an arrangement to the benefit of everyone, like many other women do every day? Why would I think myself better than Charlotte or any other ladies who have entered into an arranged marriage? Mr. Collins was right—it is very likely that I will not receive another marriage offer ever again. By marrying Lord Barrington, I will at least open my sisters’ path to a happy future.”

“Can you not ask Lord Barrington to allow you some time to think?” Mr. Gardiner enquired.

“He asked me to consider everything carefully and provide him with an answer by today. He said there will be a settlement, approved by you, and that the whole arrangement will be put in writing.”

“That seems fair enough.”

“I believe so. I cannot delay longer, nor answer Lord Barrington: ‘Sir, I do not like you enough to marry you if I have a choice. So wait until I see how my father’s health progresses and in case he is worse, I will marry you, if he improves, I shall say goodbye.’ Or can I?”

“Oh, my dear...” Mrs. Gardiner whispered. “My heart is so heavy...”

“Why, Aunt? So many other women among the best and oldest families in England enter into arranged marriages. This is the rule, not the exception, would you not agree? As I said, I cannot pretend to be better than them and surely their situation in life is generally better than ours.”

“Lizzy, I just wish you to be certain of your decision. Yes, you will have a comfortable life and you and your family will want for nothing. But will you be happy? Is it worth the sacrifice?”

“The sacrifice of an imagined happiness for a real secure future for our family? It certainly is! At least Mama will be beside herself with joy! We should write to her after I seal my arrangement with Lord Barrington. The Lucases were exceedingly happy when Charlotte married Mr. Collins. Charlotte made a happy home for herself and she is more than content with her life. Is Lord Barrington any worse than Mr. Collins? At least I shall be addressed as ‘your ladyship’. Just like Lady Catherine de Bourgh—is that not enough compensation?”

Elizabeth attempted to laugh at her own mockery, but the Gardiners stared at her in silence, with their countenances dark and grim. She was not being herself, and no amount of joking could conceal her turmoil. However, as much as the Gardiners insisted, they failed to change her mind.