Page 76 of Masters of Control

Sam

The music for the end of Love Actually played, and Morgan sighed with happiness.

“I love this movie.” Her voice was dreamy, as though she was imagining being in the movie—or, at least, being one of the happy couples in the movie.

It amazed Sam how Morgan could stay so optimistic despite everything she’d been through. She still wanted to find love. She gracefully accepted help. She’d been ground down into the dirt, yet she was willing to put herself out there again. Whereas Sam hadn’t even texted Q back because she was too wrapped up in trying to figure out if there was any hidden subtext to his message.

“I think I need to be more like you.” The words popped out of her mouth before she really thought about them.

Sitting on the floor between Kincaid’s knees, Morgan twisted around to give Sam a surprised look.

“Like me?” There was real shock in her voice. Amy and Kincaid, who were on either side of her, were also looking at her, though without Morgan’s surprise. She avoided meeting their gazes as heat filled her cheeks, almost wishing she hadn’t said anything… except she knew her words would mean a lot to Morgan.

“Yeah, like you. I wish I was better at accepting help and at looking at the positive side of things. I don’t mean to be a Debbie downer, but it keeps happening anyway.” She rubbed her hands on her thighs. She didn’t felt like a Debbie downer or that she was negative most of the time. She thought she was being realistic, but hanging out with Morgan made her look that way in contrast.

Morgan reached out to take Sam’s hand.

“You have a choice, though. I didn’t. Not really. I either had to accept help or end up out on the street. I had no idea how to function in the real world. You do. I want to be more like you.”

Staring back at her, Sam shook her head.

“What, bitter at the world and scared of being in a real relationship?” She tried to make it into a joke, but the same bitterness she was referencing had worked its way into her voice. Amy shifted on the other side of her, wrapping her arm around Sam’s shoulders.

“Oh, honey. You’re just very down to earth, and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.” Amy grinned. “Q has his head in the clouds, so he needs someone to bring him back down to earth, while you’ve got your feet firmly on the ground and need someone to lift you up. You two balance each other.”

He hadn’t been very head-in-the-clouds during their argument, but Sam understood what Amy was saying, and she wasn’t wrong. Sam hadn’t really thought about it that way. Q did have a tendency to jump straight into things. Always had. Sam had always taken more time and been more deliberate about her decisions. She’d envied his fearlessness, but at the same time she’d seen how leaping before one looked could be a detriment.

Maybe that was why she’d needed to do the job interview and hadn’t told them no yet. She’d needed to know that all her options were open. She’d needed to know what all her options were. How could she consider something if she didn’t know if it was actually on the table?

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” she admitted. Now that she knew the ‘why,’ she’d be able to explain it to him. Hopefully.

“It would also probably help to let him help you,” Kincaid finally spoke up. “Tell him what you can accept help with. It sucks when your partner is floundering and you feel helpless, especially if you can see ways to help them, and they won’t let you.”

Amy made a small noise of sympathy, staring at Kincaid from Sam’s other side. She had the urge to scrunch herself smaller and get out of their way. There were some serious vibes going back and forth between the two of them.

Sam didn’t know what to make of their dynamic. Talk about complicated. Amy playing platonically with Zach, who was Kincaid’s boyfriend, while she was engaged to a totally vanilla guy, but they didn’t actually have a relationship together…

Yeah, things with Q didn’t seem so difficult by comparison.

“He’ll come around,” Amy said sympathetically after a moment. “It’s just hard for him.”

Kincaid gave her a tight smile that did absolutely nothing to relieve the growing tension in the room.

“I hope so.”

“So, who wants dessert?” Morgan asked, bouncing to her feet. The movement, along with her cheery question, did break the tension, which Sam was pretty sure had been her intention. “I’ve got a chocolate yule log and candy cane ice cream.”

“That sounds amazing.” Kincaid stood up as well, obviously to help her serve. He glanced down at Sam and Amy on the couch. “Ladies?”

“Yes, please.”

“None for me.” Amy shook her head, patting her stomach. “I’ve already eaten too much—don’t look at me like that, Kincaid. I’m not talking badly about myself. I’ve just been dieting and exercising and still gaining weight, and I have a wedding dress to fit into in the spring.” She sighed. “I don’t know what to do, but I know eating extra dessert isn’t going to help if I’m gaining weight on salad while working out five days a week. I’ve already splurged enough on my calories today.”

Now Kincaid was really frowning, and so was Sam.

“Have you been to see a doctor?” she asked before Kincaid could say anything. “If you’re doing all that and gaining weight, you should be checked out. It could be your thyroid or any number of things.”

Amy had started to wrinkle her nose, but her eyes widened at Sam’s last sentence.