Page 56 of Masters of Control

If she couldn’t get a raise, she needed a new job that paid more, or she would have to start changing how she lived, which was already pretty frugal. Going out to eat at Marquis with Noelle and Morgan had basically been a splurge, and even then, she’d been getting the cheapest thing on the menu.

She could look into a new housing situation but moving cost money. She wasn’t sure she could afford to move right now, even if it would save her money in the long run. Sure, it was easy to think ‘oh I’ll find somewhere I can have a roommate and share expenses,’ but she’d also need a down payment and rent something to move all her stuff.

Even if she wanted to live with someone else, which she didn’t, that idea was out of her reach.

What about living with Q?

Yeah, she wasn’t going to let her brain go there, even for a moment. It was way, way too soon.

Besides, she didn’t want him to think she was using him for his house.

For a moment, her brain entertained a happy little fantasy of being his live-in sex slave before reality intruded. For starters, definitely not her kink. Secondly, she loved her work. She just didn’t love her paycheck. And thirdly, she was not going to bang for the roof, or whatever it was called. She wanted her own money.

Needed it, even.

She’d considered asking her dad for help, as a Christmas present, but with him going on a cruise, she didn’t want to ask him for anything extra. And heaven forbid he actually canceled the trip in order to help her out. She’d eat nothing but ramen for the month before she let that happen.

Thankfully, her phone buzzed with a responding text, halting her increasingly depressing thought spiral.

Noelle: Why not? Are you okay?

Taking a deep breath, she made herself type out the words. There was nothing wrong with not being able to afford it. She did not need to feel ashamed. Repeating the words like a mantra in her head only helped a little with the rising emotions.

Sam: I can’t afford it, low on funds right now and need to be smart with my money.

There. That was a good way to put it without making herself appear pathetic. Not that she was pathetic, but this was definitely bringing up all sorts of feelings she hadn’t had since high school. Feelings she’d been trying to avoid since high school.

Morgan: Aw, I totally get it hun. We can reschedule for later!

Sam pressed her lips together, relieved Morgan was so supportive but also dreading future conversations that she still couldn’t afford it. People tended to be pretty understanding about it around the holidays. Morgan probably assumed she was spending money on gifts or things.

If only.

She and her dad didn’t exchange gifts. Their present to each other was sitting and watching Christmas movies together while eating popcorn and ordering Chinese food for dinner, which was what they’d done every Christmas since she was a little girl. As a child, she’d sometimes wished for more, but as she’d gotten older and understood their financial situation, she pretended to love it for her dad’s sake. Then one day, she realized it really was all she wanted—time with her dad and a treasured memory from what could have been an even more depressing situation.

He'd really made the best of things for her, and now that she was an adult, it was her job to do the same for him, so he could enjoy his golden years.

Noelle: Aw, I really wanted to see you two! I can cover you for tonight.

Sam: Oh, you don’t have to do that.

Noelle: I know I don’t have to. I want to! I have extra money and want to see you. Don’t tell me no!

Morgan: I can go in half so it’s not all Noelle! I had a great weekend.

Which meant, in Morgan-speak, she’d raked in a bunch of money on her channel. A moment later, while Sam was still staring at her screen and trying to decide what to say, her phone buzzed again. Another text from Morgan, but this one was directly to Sam instead of to the group message.

Morgan: You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but you’ve done so much for me, and I’d like to do something in return for you! Think about what you would do if the situation was reversed.

If the situations were reversed and Morgan couldn’t afford to go out for dinner, and Sam had extra money, she would have paid for the other woman’s dinner in a heartbeat. Sam sighed. Dammit. When Morgan put it that way…

Sam responded to the group text.

Sam: Okay, I’ll let you two pay for me just this once! But next week, you’ll come over for dinner at my place.

She’d find a way to scrounge some money for extra groceries and get everything on sale. That would make two weeks she didn’t have to pay for dinner at Marquis. Even though she would be buying more groceries than usual, it would actually be cheaper. Yeah, she could do that.

A rush of warmth and gratitude went through her. She was lucky to have such good friends. Sure, she still needed to figure out the job and money thing, but at least the relationship parts of her life were going well.