Page 193 of Masters of Control

“Woah, hey, don’t cry… don’t cry, let’s talk about this… I didn’t mean to upset you.” Master Asad was gripping the steering wheel so tightly, she almost expected it to creak.

Reaching up, Morgan dashed the tears away from her eyes. She hadn’t realized she’d teared up. Crying was not something she did outside of a scene, but she was so… so…

“I’m not upset, I’m pissed!” She was so angry, it was leaking out her eyeballs, which was unexpected.

Mistress Julie would call it an overwhelming response to new emotions. Morgan hadn’t been allowed to be angry for basically her entire life, but she could be angry now.

It didn’t feel good. She didn’t like it.

She felt like hitting something. Hurting someone.

Or, really, she wanted someone to hurt her until she could really cry, but apparently, that wasn’t an option right now. Her breath hitched. She was losing the battle to get herself under control, and she didn’t know how to handle it. She’d never lost that battle.

When you feel safe, you’ll also feel safe to express yourself, Mistress Julie’s voice whispered through her mind. She did feel safe. She also felt out of control, and she knew that’s why she was sinking back into the more familiar mindset of Asad being Master Asad. Because if he was Master Asad, it didn’t matter what she wanted. She could cede the control to him, let him decide how the rest of the evening was going to go.

“I take it no one told you that this week was supposed to be platonic?” His tone was dry, but she could hear the frustration laced through it, which was reassuring. At least she wasn’t the only one who was frustrated.

Arms crossed over her chest, as if she could hold in her emotions by sheer physical force, Morgan shook her head, pressing her lips together. Blinking quickly, she swallowed hard.

No, no one had told her that this week was platonic. Her decisions had not only been made for her, she’d also been kept out of the loop. No one had even thought to tell her what they’d decided about her life.

Master Asad sighed and reached over to put his hand on her thigh.

“I’m sorry, Morgan. I didn’t realize no one had told you… They mean well. It’s just that spending a week together can be very intimate and adding sex to that…” He shrugged. “Apparently, there’s a lot of worry about magic penises and vaginas.”

“What?” Bewilderment cut through her anger and hurt.

By the time he was done explaining what he meant, they’d reached the hotel, and Morgan was actually laughing. Her anger wasn’t gone, but it no longer felt as though she was going to explode. It had decreased to a low simmer, bubbling under her other emotions but not boiling over.

“You’ve never heard of magic penises and vaginas, huh?” Master Asad asked, breaking the silence between them. Morgan was staring up at the hotel in front of them. Some of the windows were lit from within, some were not. The setting sun was on the other side of the building, casting them in shadow.

“I don’t read a lot of romance.”

“Why not? It feels like most of the subs at the club do.”

“I don’t think I’m a romance person.” She looked down at her chest. Her fake breasts. “They’re not really written for me.”

“What are you talking about? They’re for women. Usually. Some of the guys are even reading them now, I hear.”

“Have you ever read one?” She wasn’t surprised when he shook his head. “Well, magic penises and vaginas might be a big part of them, but so are women with fake breasts, and big hair, who wear lots of makeup and dress in sexy clothes. They’re always the villain. If a woman is described that way, you immediately know she’s going to be trouble for the heroine. It got depressing, so I stopped trying to read them.” She’d just started liking herself and the books had made her feel like she wasn’t supposed to like herself the way she was, so it hadn’t been a hard decision.

“Well, if there’s any question, I like your breasts, and hair, and how you dress, and I think you do an amazing job with your makeup.”

“Thank you.” She smiled at him, her spirits lifting a little before they sank again. She sighed. If she’d ever wanted proof that she wasn’t cut out for romance, the fact that her friends didn’t think she could even go away for a week without setting a bunch of rules around it was a telling sign. “So… where does this leave us? I thought I was going to truly get away this week, get to make my own decisions, and… I wanted to scene. I thought I was going to get to scene with you.”

“Trust me, it’s not from lack of desire on my part.” His fingers toyed with hers. “I don’t want anyone pissed at me, though. Patrick and Lexie especially.”

“How would they know?” The line from the popular app sound fell from her lips, and Morgan sat up. “No, wait, seriously, how would they know?” She turned to look at him. The shadows made it a little harder to read his expression, but he looked like he was listening. “We just won’t tell anyone. No one at the wedding knows anyone back home, right?”

“Well, there’s a line from Mason to Drew to Patrick…”

“So, we won’t tell Mason. He’s not going to know what we do in our hotel room, alone.” Excitement fizzed through her, along with the defiance she’d felt yesterday. The rebellion.

Everyone thought they could tell her what to do, how to act, what she could and couldn’t do. Not just her parents and Master Jason and Master Richard, but all her friends now. They might have good intentions, but they were boxing her in while telling her it was for her own good.

It was different.

She knew it was different.