Page 134 of Masters of Control

Watching her looking around, it was almost like seeing it for the first time again. He grinned, dropping quiet and letting her soak it all in. He couldn’t wait to show her everything.

Camille

“I can’t believe how much my feet hurt when I was wearing sneakers all day,” Camille complained. Not just her feet. Her legs, in general. She was sore all over.

The massage Freddy was giving her feet and calves was definitely helping a lot. He grinned at her from his position at the other end of her couch, his strong fingers rubbing over the arch of her foot, pressing in and making her groan as pure relief slid through her.

“If you’re not used to being on your feet for long periods of time, your feet are going to end up hurting, regardless of what shoes you’re wearing. Heck, even if you are used to being on your feet.”

“Do your feet hurt?” she asked, suddenly worried she’d become one of the people who took Freddy’s help without thinking about what he might need. He shook his head, but she wasn’t sure he was telling the truth.

“I’m good. The movies in the afternoon helped. If we did a second day of walking around like this, my feet would be hurting.” He chuckled as she moaned again.

“There is no way I could do a second day in a row of this. One was enough. Next time, we’re doing a half day until I build up more stamina,” she said grumpily, though she’d had a great time. No regrets. They’d decided to continue the day by returning to her place and ordering in food. Now she was stuffed full of food from her favorite Greek place and getting a foot massage by an eager-to-please, very handsome, and extremely capable sub.

This is the life.

The life that she wanted, that she sometimes dreamed about. The life she’d been sacrificing to her job and to trying to take care of her mom… but what if she could have it all? There was a cynical part of her that immediately rejected that notion. Wasn’t that what she’d heard over and over again her whole life? That she couldn’t have it all? That she was always going to have to choose something?

Work or family.

Work or friends.

Work or vacation.

Work or children.

Always work, work, work, work or... But what did work give back to her other than money? Not that money wasn’t important—it was, of course it was—but she knew her mom would approve of what was happening right now much more than she would approve of Camille bending over backward to the Donaldsons and Nicholas Alexander IIIs of the world. Even if it meant the home she lived in wasn’t as good as the one she was in now.

Camille let out a long, slow breath.

“Do you ever feel like you have to choose between work and everything else?” For the most part, they’d managed to avoid talking about their jobs today, but now she wanted to know. They had similar careers, both divorce lawyers, but Freddy managed to have a second job at Marquis and a large circle of friends he made time for, and now, he was taking her out.

Despite all that, he seemed perfectly at ease and happy with himself.

He took his time, thinking about her question, mulling it over, still rubbing at her feet before finally answering.

“Not really. At least, not in the sense I think you’re asking. There are times when I miss something I wanted to go to because I have to work, but if there’s something I really want to do, I find a way to do it. Sometimes, I have to make small sacrifices at work to be with my friends and small sacrifices with my friends to make sure I get all my work done, but I don’t feel as if I’m choosing one over the other. If that makes sense.”

It did.

It sounded like compromise. Rather than allowing one thing to run his life, he prioritized neither all the time and both some of the time. Unlike her, who had prioritized work completely, partly out of fear it would no longer be there if she didn’t, and she needed the money.

Lately that was changing. She’d gone out New Year’s Eve. She’d had lunch with Julie and Olivia. She’d gone out for the night with Julie even if she’d ended up spending most of it with Freddy. Now she and Freddy had gone on a date.

Nothing terrible had happened.

None of her work had been neglected.

If anything, she’d worked harder because she’d felt less stressed, less tired, and more energized. She felt better all around, even with sore feet. There was some satisfaction in having sore feet and legs, to be perfectly honest. Like she’d done something with her day instead of sitting at home, trying to recharge and still feeling exhausted at the end of it.

Now she felt exhausted but satisfied in a way she hadn’t in a very long time.

“I think I’ve been stuck in an either/or mentality for a long time,” she admitted. “Like I can only do one thing, and that one thing has been sucking me dry.”

There was a long pause as Freddy thoughtfully rubbed up her calf, massaging the muscle and making her want to sink even deeper into the couch.

“Well, I’m glad you’re getting away from that,” he said finally.