Page 110 of Masters of Control

Camille

Staring at Freddy’s message, Camille didn’t know what to say. She honestly hadn’t expected him to reach out after this afternoon and didn’t know how to answer. There were too many variables up in the air. She didn’t know what she wanted from him or what she was even allowed to want from him.

Everything felt like a complete mess and comfort food could only help so much.

Thankfully, before she could get too much into her head, Julie called her.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Camille. So, what’s going on?”

Trust Julie to get straight to the point. For all that she seemed to be enjoying her secret admirer, she wasn’t one to play games normally. Camille sighed, then spilled her guts. She might have hesitated a bit more before Freddy texted her, but now the pressure to have someone to talk to about all of this had built up to a breaking point, and she couldn’t hold it in any longer.

When she finally reached the end of her word vomit, with Freddy’s text, she felt a little lighter. A little empty, too, but at least didn’t feel like she was going to explode anymore. Right now, she would take what she could get.

“Wow. Okay. Well, that’s unexpected,” Julie said after a moment.

“You’re telling me. How is my luck this bad?” Camille leaned back against her sofa, letting her head fall back and putting her hand over her eyes to block out some of the light. She didn’t have a headache yet, but she was pretty sure if she didn’t find a way to relax, she would get one soon. Tension headaches were pretty common for her during the past few years.

“It could be good luck. You and Freddy hooked up before knowing you had rival clients, so he knows there’s another side to you. Pretty sure if we’d introduced you after today, both of you would have balked.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s good luck, considering that I am extremely attracted to the attorney I’m working against.”

“Lucky for your love life if you two can get past this. Which, in my opinion, you should try. It’s not like the Alexanders are going to be your clients forever. That’s the best part about your job. Once you’re done with them, you’re done.”

“As opposed to your job, where they keep coming back for more,” Camille teased. Julie was a kink-friendly couples’ therapist. She was pretty much a vault about her clients, but Camille knew she had some long-running ones. It was the nature of the job.

“Sure, but if they’re assholes, I can choose not to see them again. The beauty of owning my own practice.”

The truth of that statement sent jealousy shooting through Camille. She would have loved to have her own practice, but she’d never felt secure enough to make the jump. She couldn’t, not while her mom’s care relied on her.

“You do have a point,” Camille mused. With the awfulness of the present, she hadn’t thought ahead to the future.

Nicholas Alexander III wouldn’t always be her client. She was stuck with him for now, but once the divorce proceedings were over—and with the file Freddy had presented them today, that would likely be sooner rather than later, despite what Mr. Alexander thought—she and Freddy wouldn’t be on opposite sides of the table anymore.

Of course, there was no guarantee it wouldn’t happen again in the future. She’d been working for Donaldson for five years now. Freddy was clearly an experienced lawyer, and the other night was the first time they’d met. Their firms both serviced large areas with a lot of people.

Theoretically, it could be another five years before they saw each other across a mediation table again. The idea of still being at Donaldson in five years made her want to shrivel up, but it was still a good point.

“How much do you want to sacrifice yourself to your job? I’m not saying you two should hook up again now that you’re at cross courses, but there’s nothing to say you can’t get to know each other a little better until you’re done with these clients. You can still be friendly. Plenty of lawyers do it.” She snorted. “Heck, I happen to know a top defense attorney who Tops a state prosecutor. If they can make it work without it being a conflict of interest, why not you?”

Why not me?

A little rush of hope went through Camille. Julie tended to be… well, not a Debbie Downer exactly, but she was ruthlessly practical. If she didn’t see this as an insurmountable problem, why should Camille?

I used to be a positive person.

It felt like a distant memory. On the other hand, she was reclaiming other sides of herself. Why not reclaim that part, too? She and Freddy could probably work something out. Maybe even scene together if they agreed to keep that part of their lives completely separate from their work.

If he was on board, that was. That, right there, was the root of her fear. Rejection. Her assumption that he would reject her was so strong, she wasn’t even giving him the chance to, despite that he’d texted her first.

“You’re right. You’re right.”

“Of course, I’m right. Now, get off the phone with me and get on the phone with him.”

Camille laughed as Julie hung up on her. She was right, though.

Shaking her head, she pulled up Freddy’s text message. She was already feeling better about… well, everything. Even if Freddy didn’t want to see her again, she could handle that. She’d go to the club and meet someone else. Today was not the end of the world.