Page 77 of Morel Dilemma

“You say that in such a derogatory manner. I would think a filter like that would be desired by an elf, not sneered at. Isn’t moss nature’s percolator?”

Sylin gazed flatly at her.

“I know I’ve heard that before. Surely, your people use and adore moss. It’s the epitome of a natural substance.”

“We pack wounds with it, use it as a soil substrate, and propagate plants in it. It’s not involved in beverage creation.”

“I had no idea your diets were so restrictive.”

“I want to come, Rylana.”

“To the diner tonight? I won’t stop you, but it’s not a good idea.”

“I know.”

“But you want menu item number three? And to meet your mom?”

Sylin sighed.

“I admit I don’t even know what item three is.” Rylana had glanced at the flier on the way across the street and noticed all three of the specialty blends mentioned, but she wasn’t familiar enough with rare and exotic coffees to catch the significance.

“Black ivory coffee.” Sylin tapped the last item on the list. “It’s something I’ve read about in books but never seen before, never had an opportunity to experience. It’s very rare.”

“Are the beans from a super exotic locale?”

“Somewhat exotic, but it’s the processing that makes the coffee unique.”

“Processing?” Rylana asked.

“The coffee cherries are fermented inside elephants, which supposedly results in an incredibly smooth and almost chocolatey taste without bitterness.”

“Uh, by fermented inside, do you mean the elephants eat the beans and poop them out?”

“The beans are partially digested, then collected, cleaned, dried, and eventually roasted. The enzymes in the elephant’s stomach break down the proteins in the coffee, and that’s what results in a lack of bitterness.”

“So, the answer is yes. Tonight, our coffee-shop owners will be serving the elven queen at our wonderful rooftop terrace designed by a renowned elven plant master… poop coffee.”

“Your tastes are pedestrian and unsophisticated, Rylana. It’s a wonder your award-winning chef dragon speaks to you.”

“For someone who was raised by wolves, you’re quite a snob. Maybe I should have figured out long ago that you’re a hoity-toity elven princess. All the knives you carry around like a thuggish highwayman threw me off.”

“My knives are made by master blade smiths and are as sophisticated as I am. Neither they nor I are thuggish.” Sylin folded the flier into quarters and tucked it into a shirt pocket. “I’m going to come unless there are legions of elves with weapons there. To meet the female who claims to be my mother and to try the black ivory coffee.”

“If you’re determined to partake in such ill-advised endeavors, I can’t stop you.”

“No. Do you refer to meeting the queen or drinking the coffee?”

“Both.” Shaking her head, Sylin headed for the steps.

“If you truly think I’ll be in danger…”

“I’ll put a mushroom in the window.” Rylana waved as she descended. “As we discussed earlier.”

“For a human, you’re a good and loyal friend.”

“For an elf, you’re a pain in the ass.”

“Yes. Thank you for your assistance.”