Page 55 of A Ghost of a Chance

In addition, he had never been one to use the fair sex, and kissing Kitty when she knew full well that he failed to return her love came dangerously close to trifling with her.

She tilted her face upward and whispered, “Kiss me, and then I will know my heart.”

Without waiting for his reply, Kitty rose up on tiptoe and kissed him. The firmness of her lips, the softness and warmth of a real, living woman took his breath away. He pulled her into his arms, reveling in the tangibleness and heat of her body. He kissed her deeper and deeper. She responded with equal fervor. Desire shot through him and every part of his body woke up as if from a long sleep. Years had passed since he’d had the unique pleasure of sharing such intimacy with a woman—a live, mortal woman. The comfort of human flesh reminded him of the cool, not-quite-solid sensation that came when he touched Osanne.

Yet he felt none of the joy nor the love that had come with kissing Osanne. Her kisses had not brought the same physical pleasure, but had instilled a deep and never-before-known happiness and sense of home.

Kitty’s kisses touched him on a mortal, physical level only. Osanne’s had touched and reshaped his heart.

He ended the kiss, brushed his lips on Kitty’s brow, and stepped back. Kitty stood with her eyes closed and smiling. She was warm and whole and real, and so unselfishly loving.

He must choose.

Osanne had made the choice for him...but perhaps not for the reason he had thought.

Kitty opened her eyes and that familiar impish delight sparkled in her eyes. “You’re an even better kisser than I imagined.”

Rafe could not find it within himself to smile back.

He stood at a proverbial crossroads. Stay here with Kitty. Or go back to Madding Hollow and try to reach Osanne.

He had it within his grasp to free Osanne. She had described her half-life as a special kind of purgatory. She deserved to be freed from that horrible isolation and loneliness, condemned to only exist in the most fragile way possible on a single night.

The final decision lay with Osanne. He had always found the courage to make difficult decisions, to order those under his command into danger, to charge to almost certain death. Could he find the courage again to ask Osanne to risk it all...with him?

Perhaps that was his answer. His calling. He needed to offer to perform the Ath-nuadhachadh for her—providing he could purify his heart enough to be worthy. If Osanne came back to life, they could be together. If she moved on to whatever lay in that light, then she would be free of the hellish half-life where she was now trapped.

Surely some new existence lay beyond that light.

Perhaps he met Osanne because only she would help him heal enough that he could open his heart to possibilities, to see Kitty as a woman, as the love of his life. She might be the one about whom his fortune had foretold. If that were true, then Osanne, in turn, needed Rafe to help her find the courage to move on.

Then why had he fallen in love with her? To learn what love could offer him? To show him what he could find with Kitty? With Osanne freed, Rafe might find room in his heart for Kitty.

Could he love another?

Perhaps in time. But not this time. Not this one. Kitty deserved someone who loved and adored her. Someone who had already traveled a long distance to ask for her hand.

As gently as he could, he said, “Kitty...”

Kitty held up a hand. She hugged herself and looked up at him with solemn eyes. “As I said, I don’t believe it’s proper to marry someone when one has an attachment for someone else, as you clearly do for that other woman, regardless of what has happened between you.”

He winced. “Forgive me, Kitty. Forgive my confusion and indecision. You have been more patient than I deserve.”

She blew out a soft, weary sigh and looked away. “Patience can be a virtue. Or an act of foolishness. It’s time I ceased my foolishness. You were a childhood fantasy; but he—the not-so-poor chap—is an adult reality. Thank you for the kiss, and for helping me know my mind. With you purged from my heart, I now have room for him. I will accept his proposal.”

Mingled with a faint sense of loss, a stronger relief came over Rafe. He bowed over her hand. “I wish you both every happiness.”

“Thank you. I will pray you find the answers you seek and be at peace.”

“That will be my hope, as well.” Perhaps he ought to take Peter’s advice and offer up a few prayers, as well.

The fortune teller’s words came back to him: True love. You have it within your grasp, but only when you live true to yourself will you find your heart’s desire, the mate for your soul, and free you both from the chains that bind you each to your solitude. Osanne had pulled him out of his solitude. From the first moment he saw her in the pub she had drawn him out, back to living.

Free yourself, free her. If he freed Osanne, he would also free himself.

He would never love anyone more than Osanne. Death had not stopped him from loving her, and neither would freeing her from being caught between worlds. No matter the outcome.

Find love. Hold fast to it. Osanne could be restored to life. She was the love he had found. He would hold fast to her with his last breath.