Page 121 of Courting the Country Miss

Her aunt clucked. “I’ll have a tray brought to you, along with some chamomile tea. Shall I send laudanum as well?”

“No, thank you.” Every pain of her throbbing head served as punishment for her stupidity, her weakness, her betrayal.

Leticia’s maid brought in a tray and cool compress, and slipped out. When Leticia’s tears dried, she stared in numb desolation as shadows moved across the floor.

As darkness fell, Isabella entered, smelling of the new perfume she’d purchased and wearing a cream silk creation trimmed in pink that lent her a fragile, luminescent beauty. She called softly, “Leticia?”

“I’m awake, Bella,” Leticia murmured, pillows muffling her voice.

“I heard about your school. I’m so sorry.” She sat on the edge of the bed.

Leticia wrestled with whether to unburden herself on her sister, or carry her guilt in silence.

“I know it’s a terrible loss.” Isabella paused. “I’m surprised you aren’t your usual stoic self. You were less overset when Richard married Lady Elizabeth.”

Leticia shuddered in a breath. “It’s not only the school. It’s Tristan.”

“What has happened?”

“I’ve ruined everything.” A sob worked its way out of her.

Laying a hand on Leticia’s back, Isabella leaned over. “Tell me.”

Leticia did—everything from Tristan’s proposal, to Lord Bradbury’s kiss, to Tristan’s discovery. “And now I’ve hurt him and he’ll never trust me and I don’t deserve him!” She burst into tears.

Isabella removed her hand and sat back. She said nothing while Leticia wept.

Pulling herself together, Leticia dried her tears and blew her nose. “Whatever am I to do?”

“Do?” Isabella let out a derisive huff. “I don’t know if there is anything you can do. You have broken the hearts of two good men. I’m ashamed of you.”

Leticia blinked at the condemning tones from her normally mild sister. “I’m ashamed, too. Although, to tell you the truth, I don’t think I broke Lord Bradbury’s heart. I’m not certain he truly loved me. I think he liked me, but we didn’t have a deep emotional connection. But Tris—”

Isabella stood. “You can tell yourself that if that makes you feel better.”

Again, Leticia stared. “Lord Bradbury wasn’t in love with me. He didn’t support my involvement in the school, and I had the distinct impression that he hoped I’d give it up if I married him.”

“He doted on you!” Isabella shouted. “He looked at you as if you were the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. And he did support your school; he donated a pianoforte and participated in your auction. You were too blind to see how much he admired and loved you. I wish I’d known you would cast him aside—I would have encouraged him.”

Stunned, Leticia pushed herself up to a seated position. “You have dozens of admirers.”

“I suppose we all want the one we can’t have.” Isabella left the room, slamming the door.

Leticia gaped. Isabella’s words knifed through Leticia.

Perfect. Through her narrow-mindedness, selfishness, and weakness, she had lost the good opinion of everyone who mattered to her. Worse, she’d ruined Isabella’s chances with a man to whom she had formed a secret attachment. Leticia had been too selfish to see the truths in front of her.

She was the most wretched person in all of England. She deserved to live out her life in solitude and misery.

Chapter Thirty-Six

Tristan gave up on sleep and paced his bachelor’s rooms. Perhaps he deserved nothing less. He’d been a rake of the worst kind. Leticia had no use for such men, and he had no finger of blame to point at her behavior.

The question remained: what to do now?

As morning dawned, he dressed and began walking. He walked for the better part of the day, coming no closer to a course of action. He could leave now for the country estates as he’d promised Richard he would do and let Bradbury have Leticia. He could stay and fight for Leticia—wrest her away from Lord Bradbury. If he succeeded, did he dare trust her to love a wretch like him—enough to be faithful to him? Or should he cut his losses, accept his loneliness as penance for all his past misdeeds, and immerse himself into helping Richard make the estate more prosperous than ever?

He found himself at the front steps of Averston House. Richard. Could he confide in him without giving away too many details that would reflect poorly on Leticia? As he stood on the steps, Elizabeth stepped out.