Page 114 of Undone By The Mountain Daddies

I flip my hair over my shoulder and take a copy of the script from the pile.

“I didn’t think you would be joining us today, Sienna,” says a man on my right whom I vaguely remember from the previous movie.

“Yeah, well, I’m full of surprises.”

“You can say that again,” interjects a woman a few seats down whom I’ve never seen before.

The director takes his seat at the head of the table, and as I look around the table, not one single person is smiling.

I hear the sound of rustling paper as everyone grabs their scripts, turning pages until they find the first scene. I watch everyone stare blankly at the sheets in front of them. I know that look. It’s the getting-into-character look when making a movie is the only thing you care about in life.

Even when I was hung up on Holden and thought about him 24/7, I was forced to separate from my emotions when I was on set. It actually helped at times when things were tough between us. It was nice to escape, to abandon my life for the day and become someone else.

But I realize now there are consequences to pressing pause on your real life. Like exes, problems eventually come back, calling your name, dragging you back in. And the only way you can shake them off for good is if you confront them head-on.

“Yeah, yeah, I know. She came in wearing this black and purple romper. You’ll never guess what the print was,” says a woman who’s sitting opposite me to the woman sitting next to her.

I can’t help but tune in to their conversation.

“Lily’s always been a little eccentric,” says the other woman. “Bold personality, bold fashion choices. I’m guessing she was wearing polka dots.”

“Gingham.” The girl looks like she’s about to throw up. “A black and purple gingham romper. It was so ugly.”

I stare across the table at the woman. That was me two years ago, when my biggest concern in life was other people’s fashion choices.

“I hear gingham is making a comeback,” I say.

The woman turns toward me, a disdainful look on her face. “I hear having foursomes with murderers is coming back in, too.” She sticks her finger up. “But I’m sure you already know that.”

The room falls silent, every face turning my way.

Wow, I really know how to attract an audience.

I smile and relax back into my seat. I’m the female fucking lead in this movie. This chick will probably be lucky to have three lines.

“Let’s begin,” says the director, opening the script, and acting like that didn’t just happen.

The co-director sitting beside him tosses me the evil eye. They’re married. From the looks of things, she’s not happy to see my face, which suggests her husband has seen my ass. In all its glory.

Typical. Even married men can’t help themselves. You can have a ring on your finger, thirty years of marriage behind you, and still want to click subscribe in order to see a young, hot actress’s butt.

This is exactly the kind of thing that terrifies me. What I have with my men is good now, but things change. People grow old. Develop wrinkles. Gravity starts pulling things to the ground.

I adjust the script in my hand, my palms suddenly clammy. It’s not even been twenty-four hours, yet I crave to look in their eyes and feel that reassurance that only they can make me feel. But I’m still on the fence about giving myself completely to them. Surrendering feels easy with them, but it’s scary.

It didn’t feel scary in the mountains. The thought of quitting actually felt very easy when I was up there.

But here in LA, I’m back in my head again. Which would explain the overthinking.

“Damnit!” The director slams his hand on the table, startling a few cast members. “This orange juice has pulp in it. I specifically remember asking for no pulp.”

Someone clearly woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning.

“Sorry, sir!” squeaks out the intern, scurrying back down the hallway to get the correct type of orange juice.

Poor thing… She’s an intern, probably still in school, and this grown-ass man is losing his shit over some pulp?

His wife/co-director rubs his back. “It’s okay, Rupert,” she says in a soothing voice.