Page 24 of It Takes a Thief

I was used to it, too, but I hadn’t been at the scene of a crash in a while. I saw that the driver, still sitting behind his wheel, appeared all right. He refused to get out, though. Blood from a contusion on his forehead told me he hadn’t been wearing a seat belt, if the truck even had one. However, in front of the truck was the expected adláanii.

What wasn’t expected was that his lower leg had been split open from stem to stern, shattered bones exposed, axed nearly in half by a flying shovel.

CHAPTER TEN

FORD

“Shut it down, shut it the fuck down!” I shouted at the engineers.

“We can’t!” cried Eshan. “This is just a web portal access. We’re just looking at the results, at the interface.”

Jiang was even sort of cringing back from the screen, as though it were possessed by a demon. “We’re just connected remotely, Ford. We’re looking at the operator’s real-time progress but he’s the link.”

I felt stupid for not knowing more about my own computer programs. Who fucking had time for that? That was why I paid these clowns. “But can’t we talk to the operator? Why can’t we just—”

I made a motion to grab the mouse on the desk, but Eshan had the nerve to touch my bicep. “We have instant operator messaging, but no connectivity. You can see our semi-frenzied comments in the messaging screen. I wouldn’t fuck with this until we know what’s up.”

I bent closer to the computer. The comments my engineers had typed in had become increasingly hysterical.

Andre! What’s happening?

Andre? Why did you just pave a bunch of low spots in the highway?

ARE YOU THERE ANDRE

“Where’s Toby?” I yelled. “Where’s Tobiah? He can fix this!”

Wolf shouted, “What makes you think Tobiah can fix this if I can’t? It’s obvious the fucking Cutlasses have infiltrated our system again. We need to dick-slap these pieces of shit all the way to the moon!”

I felt like braining him. Who the fuck was the leader around there? “Don’t just stand there, you numbnuts! Get down to the fucking job site and report back to me.”

Striding out into the hallway, I corralled Faux Pas into riding two up with Wolf Glaser to the job site while thumb-dialing Tuzigoot on my cell. There was a lot of yelling in the background before he even said hello.

“Move those fucking barricades off the shoulder! Benson, take your truck up to the overpass and warn the flagman this thing is coming on his side. Hector, Elizondo! Move those donkey dicks or they’re gonna be paved right into hell! Yeah, what do you want? Ford, it’s out of control over here!”

“Be right there.” I was about ready to bury someone. I was so tweaked from lack of sleep I could barely see straight. Jiang and Eshan helplessly looked at the computer screen, their hands at their sides. I sort of felt the same way. The contract on this highway job for the state was worth millions, and we were literally cratering it because some guy with a bruised brain was all up in our shit.

“Wait,” I said, hushed. “What’s that?”

Jiang and Eshan turned to me. “What’s what?” they said, almost in tandem.

I strode toward the screen, pointing a trembling finger like the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come. “Fucking that! That’s not Andre talking to us.”

We all grabbed rolling chairs and slowly slid toward the desk. Sure enough, someone was chatting on the instant messaging screen, and it was not our operator.

Hey douchebag! Yeah, you. Ford Illuminati.

We all looked at each other blankly. My computer was talking to me.

At the same instant I realized who was behind the typing, and both engineers rolled away from the desk.

“Noodlum,” I whispered.

All three of us lunged for a stack of sticky notes like discus throwers. Eshan came up triumphant, and slapped one or a dozen of them over the monitor’s built-in camera.

“How long has he been watching us?” Jiang whispered.

The IM didn’t move, so I presumed he couldn’t hear us.