Page 26 of Trapped By the Exiled Bastard

“I’m sorry,” Keir said at last. “Truly.”

“Sorry about what?” Elin asked. “About Eamon’s betrothal, ye mean? Why would that be cause for pity? Ye hate the man and everythin’ he stands for. Ye’ve never been shy in tellin’ me that I was a fool for associatin’ with him.”

Keir flushed, but he did not look angered or upset by her words. “Aye. Ye’re right, and yet I’m sorry still,” he explained. “A heart is foolish even when the mind is nae, and regardless of sense or what I think is right, ye love him. It must hurt tae ken he’ll wed another. I’m sorry ye have tae go through that pain.”

Elin stared into his eyes for a moment and felt something warm and steady pulsing in her chest. She shook her head slowly. “I… I thought I did. Truly. But Eamon, though he could be kind and gentle, was only ever usin’ me, and I… I think I may have only ever been usin’ him. Nae consciously, of course nae, but I’ve spent me whole life as an orphaned lass doin’ whatever it took to survive. There have been men before Eamon Grant, worse men, men who took the worse advantage, who I gravitated to because I kent me looks would mean they kept me safe. And they did. Then Eamon came along, and though he never treated me as a wife, he was often gentle. He sometimes brought flowers or compliments. He spoke to me in a way that made me sure that the liberties he took were worth it for the security he gave me. So, aye, perhaps I convinced meself I loved him, but I dinnae think I ever did. I think I was infatuated by the idea of a man who might care for me—but that was never Eamon. I just didnae want tae see it until I was forced to at last.”

Keir’s expression didn’t change, but Elin saw it anyway—the tiniest hint of a smile dancing in his eyes. He got to his feet and wiped down his trousers, then offered a hand. Elin took it and allowed him to pull her to her feet. They stood facing each other, both now openly smiling without quite knowing why. Neither one dropped the other’s hand.

“Have you ever been in love?” Elin asked softly. “Or has it only ever been infatuation?”

Keir looked down. “There have been women I have loved, aye, but none have ever had me heart, nor I theirs. It’s safer that way and better for everyone. All of us have agreed on that ever since I was young and the Broken Blades were formed. None of us ever allowed ourselves tae be in love, because we kent what danger lay that way.” He looked up again, though not directly at her, and a wistful expression crossed his face. “Until Briana, that is. She changed everything.”

Elin blinked, then the warmth inside her flickered. So that was it. Briana.

It made sense, she supposed. Keir would never act upon it, he was too honorable and loved his brother too much, but how could he not fall for a woman so smart, so dedicated, and so pretty who had given up everything to fight by their sides? She had seen the strange looks that Keir often directed at Briana when he thought nobody could see, but she had never been fully able to work out their meaning. Now she understood, and she felt a deep pity for him.

That surely was the emotion that was clenching in her heart now, wasn’t it?

“I’m glad ye’re all right, truly,” Keir told her. “We’ve gotten used tae yer wilfulness. It would have been a shame if it were to disappear for the likes of Eamon Grant.”

She laughed and squeezed his hand. “Och, ye’ve naught tae fear in that regard. I will always quarrel with ye, so long as ye continue tae talk such nonsense every time ye open yer mouth.” The warmth returned as he chuckled, and, impulsively, she stood on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek. “Thank ye.”

Keir went very still. “For?” he asked. She could not see his face.

“For makin’ me realize at last that there’s worth in me beyond what men have taken from me over and over. For makin’ me understand at last that I dinnae need tae always please in order tae have value,” she murmured in his ear. She pulled back, then cleared her throat. “Come on, then, I—”

But Keir’s free hand cupped her face and his eyes burned as he looked into hers.

Her words died on her lips, her breath catching in her throat. The hand that was holding hers pulled her closer, and she went willingly, and when their lips met, it tasted like it had always been inevitable.

Keir’s hand slipped into her hair and she sighed into his mouth, closing her eyes as his mouth moved against hers, soft, never demanding, and yet secure. He kissed her, and she kissed him back.

And for just a moment there was nothing but the two of them beneath the swirling sky.

12

Keir and Elin avoided each other’s gazes as they walked together back to the others.

Neither had spoken after the kiss was done, and Keir did not know what he would have said even if he had. Why had he done that? He had wanted to kiss her for so long, but he had resisted temptation before. Why was it that the slightest pressure of her lips against his skin had crumbled his resolve?

In that moment, he’d felt like he wouldn’t be able to breathe if he did not kiss her, and when she’d melted against him, he’d felt alive in a way that he’d never known possible. But now, as they walked together in silence, regret pounded at his heart. Had he ruined the tentative friendship that had built between them? Had he placed himself in her eyes as just another man waiting for his moment to take advantage of her beauty? He cursed himself, and the only thing stronger than his embarrassment over what had happened was his desperate longing to hold her close and kiss her again and again.

They reached the campfire and Elin took her seat again next to Briana, not looking in Keir’s direction at all. The two women spoke in low voices, and Keir’s eyes lingered on Briana for a long moment, the familiar guilt threatening to wash away even the complication of the feelings the moment had just caused. But then Theon spoke and, thank God, he was brought back to reality once more.

Keir looked away from both women, ostensibly to pay full attention to his brother, wondering how he had lost himself in such a complicated torture in his mind.

“If Grant is tae marry, then we must see how it will affect things for us. Dependin’ on the bride, it could change the entire landscape we face ahead,” Theon said. He gave Elin an apologetic look. “Forgive me for bein’ insensitive, but—”

“Speak as ye will. I am more than fine with whatever Eamon Grant chooses tae do with his heart,” Elin said lightly. “Though in truth I doubt his heart has anythin’ tae do with the poor lass who is about tae become his wife. He would never marry if it was nae tae gain somethin’ from it. Ye are right tae believe that it might be important tae ken who his bride is.”

Briana placed a hand on Elin’s arm, and the women exchanged a look of affection that pierced something in Keir’s heart. He yearned to move closer to her, but he stayed where he was, polishing his dagger that had already been clean hours before.

“Well, there’s good news in all of this. If Eamon Grant isnae comin’ for ye after all, then I suppose we’ll get tae keep ye around tae ourselves, Elin,” Graeme teased. “I swear we’ll be gracious hosts. I can be especially gracious if ye need comfort over Eamon’s betrothal,” he winked.

“Haud yer wheesht, ye big oaf,” Briana warned affectionately, flapping a hand in Graeme’s direction. “Though I willnae deny that, if ye wish tae stay with us, I’d be pleased tae have another woman around this place. Aye, I love me husband, and the others are as much me own brothers now as they are his, but Lord, I dinnae ken how they survived so long until I came along. For such strong, powerful men, they arenae half useless.”

Everyone else laughed, but Keir kept his head down, and Elin simply smiled slightly. Keir didn’t want to see her smile. He didn’t want to focus on those lips which he had craved for so long. Now that he had tasted them at last, he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to stop if he started once more. He had tried to resist, but when she had kissed his cheek, his desire had consumed him. Had it been too much? Should he have held back? He knew of her history, at least some of it. Did she see him now as just another of those men, the ones who wanted her for nothing more than her beauty? Is that why she would not meet his eyes?