Page 20 of Trapped By the Exiled Bastard

Her pain reminded him of another woman long ago, sobbing quietly when she thought that little Keir could not hear. His mother had been the strongest woman he’d ever known, but the world had done all it could to break her for the crime of loving his father.

“Stop that,” Keir told her, lowering his voice to a soft, firm tone. “Ye’re nae whore. Nae woman in love deserves tae be branded simply for lovin’ a man she thinks loves her too. People scorned me mother for the whole time I kent her, even though me father and me brother tried tae protect us from it. After all, for all the world could see, she was an unwed mistress who bore a laird’s bastard. They thought her less than nothin’, Elin, but let me tell ye—she was everythin’. And so are ye. If Eamon Grant has never told ye that, he’s a greater fool than any man I’ve ever kent.”

The tears spilled from Elin’s eyes at last and her cold exterior seemed to crack. She leaned forward, sobbing against his chest, and her arms wrapped around his waist. Keir blinked in surprise, but he did not question nor did he stop her. She needed comfort, and so he wrapped his arms around her and held her close, stroking her hair and murmuring wordless reassurances, allowing her to cry until she could regain control of herself again. He had nothing to give her, nothing to offer that would make any of this right, nothing to say that would make the fact she was still his prisoner any better.

But for now, he could give her himself as a safe place to feel. And for now, that was enough.

Elin walked a little ahead of Keir as they traipsed back through the forest toward the village long after nightfall. She stayed silent, as did he, neither of them alluding to what had occurred between them. When she had stopped crying and calmed, she had released him from the embrace and simply turned her back.

She’d expected him to pry, or mock, or something, but instead he’d just told her in a neutral tone that they should wait for the cover of darkness to return for the horses. Since then, they’d only spoken a smattering of words to one another, for which Elin was grateful.

Her gratitude faded into fear as they reached the place where the horses had been left and found neither of them around. “Someone took Nightwind!” she exclaimed in a horrified whisper. “Those guards—”

Keir placed a hand on her shoulder. “Dinnae jump tae conclusions. Noah was here too, remember. It could be that when he realized that we werenae here, he took both horses back. Nae doubt he’ll be out searchin’ for us at first light if we dinnae get back in time.”

“And how will we get back in time?” Elin asked.

Keir smiled, and for the first time Elin saw he had a dimple at the corner of the left side of his mouth. It made him look younger, maybe even sweet, and her heart fluttered strangely in her chest. “Ye have feet, still, aye?” he asked.

She snorted at his teasing, but she was too exhausted to parry with one of her own. They set off, now side by side, her trusting or perhaps hoping that he knew the way back. He certainly walked with confidence—but she had the feeling that, no matter what Keir was doing or feeling, he would walk with the same outward confidence. He’d had to learn that as a child, she supposed, fighting for himself in a castle where many denied he had a place.

Elin was surprised by herself for those thoughts, but she could not deny their truth. She thought about Keir and Eamon and the Broken Blades, and her own parents, gone before she could even have a memory of them. Her thoughts jumped between them all at random, keeping her occupied as they walked. She had no idea how much time passed as they walked in silence through the dark woods, occasionally reaching for each other’s hands if only to make sure they weren’t separated from the dark. Tired, upset, and with a deep weariness in her soul, Elin didn’t even think of fleeing.

She was beginning to wonder if there was even anywhere for her to flee toward anyway.

They had been walking for a few hours and the moon was high in the sky when Keir spoke, his voice sounding loud after so much silence. “Look,” he said in a voice of hushed wonder that was so different from his usual gruffness that Elin had to check if it was really him.

Her eyes followed where he was pointing and she saw what had him so fascinated. There, on a rock, was a small beetle, about an inch or so in length, its body emitting a soft natural yellowish glow that lit the air around it like a candle. Elin glanced at Keir’s face and saw wonder there that made her smile in incredulous surprise.

“It’s just a wee glowworm,” she said, laughing but without any mockery. “Likely as not, she’s tryin’ tae attract a mate.”

Keir tilted his head and stared at the creature a moment longer, then turned back to Elin. “How is it ye ken so much about the forest? The plants, the animals, even the wee creepy crawlies. A lass like ye, who’s so fond of the fine things… I wouldnae have expected it of ye.”

Elin bit back another laugh. Fond of the fine things!

If the other girls at the orphanage had ever heard her described that way, what would they say? How had she come so far from where she had once been, while still feeling only seconds away from nothing?

“I had nothin’ growin’ up,” she said softly, the words escaping her freely. “There wasnae much tae go around at the orphanage, and if the younger lassies needed more food, I’d often give them me share. I learned tae live off the forest when I needed tae. Ye learn quickly which plants are safe and which tae avoid, and even more quickly which insect sting will end yer life.”

Keir watched her. She didn’t understand the look in his eyes, but it made her shiver with something new. “Ye did what ye had tae do tae survive.”

She nodded, unaccountably embarrassed but also strangely proud at his tone. “I did,” she said, standing straight with her chin raised. “That’s what I’ve been doin’ for me whole life. Whatever it takes.”

With a slow nod, Keir said, “Aye. I ken the feelin’. Ye’re a survivor. It’s somethin’ tae be proud of. Dinnae underestimate yer strengths.”

A pleasant shiver traveled through Elin’s whole body. Had anyone ever praised her that way? She couldn’t remember, at least, not in a way that hadn’t required anything in return. She didn’t know how to respond, but thankfully he saved her from having to do so.

“Come on, we best be off if we’re tae make it back tae camp before daybreak,” Keir said. He started walking again, and, after a moment’s pause, Elin followed.

They didn’t talk much more as they finished the walk back. The sun was just starting to rise on the surface as Elin suddenly realized they were in a familiar part of the woods, and she had to stop herself in surprise at the relief of being almost home. Home! Clearly the exhaustion was getting to her. Shaking her head at her own silliness, she walked forward without looking, and for the second time that day, walked directly into someone.

“Ow,” she exclaimed, though out of surprise rather than any pain. “What—why did ye stop like that?”

Keir turned around to face her from where she had just walked directly into his back. He surveyed her with a strange, intense look that caught her entire imagination, and they watched each other in silence for a moment. Elin’s breath caught in a strange anticipation of whatever it was that was about to happen.

“I’ll teach ye tae be stealthy,” he said abruptly. The softness was gone from his voice and he sounded more like normal again, but there was another undercurrent to it as well. “If that’s what ye want. It’ll help ye survive once we’re no longer together.”

The words lingered in the air between them, and Elin tried to ignore the unexpected pain they caused. This was what she wanted, wasn’t it? But the idea of them being separated formed a lump in her throat that she could not explain. Something crossed Keir’s face and he quickly looked away.