Page 33 of A Laird and a Healer

“I hoped that we might speak candidly, Ryan,” she began. “It seems tae me that we should endeavor tae make the best out of our situation. Ye mae nae respect me at all, but I can be useful tae ye. After all, dae ye think this is gaeing tae end when ye take over the Gilmour Clan? We hae long lives ahead of us. Are ye gaeing tae spend it all hating me?”

Ryan pursed his lips and shifted his weight from side to side. He considered himself an intelligent man, but his judgment became clouded where the Gilmour Clan was concerned. He thought mostly in the short term, wanting to establish dominance over them. He hadn’t thought of the far-reaching effects.

“I dinnae hate ye, Caroline.”

“Ye certainly act that way,” she spat.

“I hate yer family. I hate yer Da. I hate yer clan. But I dinnae hate ye.”

“That is nae as comforting as ye might think.”

She turned to face him. There was a curious look in her eyes. She cast a searching gaze towards him for a few moments, and then shook her head gently, as though she did not find what she was looking for.

“I suppose it’s a comfort tae learn ye are capable of some emotion, at least.”

Ryan ran his tongue along his gums and placed his hand against his chin. Her dress clung to her body in a pleasing manner. It was impossible for his gaze not to run down the path of her curves, following the flow of lustrous hair, wondering about what lay beneath her clothes. Although he tried his best to dispel these thoughts as he hated to be weakened by them, they took on a life of their own and pressed on his mind and his soul.

Caroline had made a startling impression on him the moment they had met, and this only increased the more time they spent together. He had threatened her that eventually she would give into her urges and sleep with him, but secretly that had been projection on his part. For all his talk of being focused on revenge, he possessed urges too; urges that pulled him towards her, that made him want to put his arms around her waist and drag her to bed, to lose himself in her softness, to feel her hair brushing against his body, to feel something warm and tender for a change, instead of the cold and heartless fury that boiled in the pit of his stomach.

“I hae a lot of emotion,” he replied.

Caroline choked on a laugh. She turned her head slightly, showing him the profile of her face. He followed the shape of her dainty nose, the bow of her lips.

“Aye, anger. That is all ye are; a demon creature made of fire and brimstone. There’s nae mercy tae ye.”

“There was mercy when I saved ye and yer sisters.”

“Because I promised ye what ye wanted. Either ye are playing hard and hiding yer true nature, or ye are really devoid of emotion, and the more I get tae know ye, the more I fear the latter is true. Why dae ye even want a child? What love dae ye hae tae give tae it?”

“More than ye know,” he growled, and pushed himself up from the bed.

He noticed how she tensed as he took a step forward, but he only took one step. He angled his shoulder towards her, and the rest of the room fell away as he focused on her.

“Ye speak sae freely, as if ye know me, but what dae ye know?”

“I know that for some reason the people of this land trust and respect ye. Perhaps ye are a good Laird, but I dinnae know if that makes ye a good man.”

“Oh aye, and yer Da was both, I assume?”

Caroline flinched as he mentioned her father. Ryan curled his lip in a sneer and nodded.

“Aye, that’s right. Ye dinnae like tae think about him and what he did. I bet ye never asked him the questions. He could dae nae wrong in yer eyes. I’d wager that ye thought him a hero.”

“He was,” Caroline blurted out, wiping her eyes.

“Perhaps tae ye and yer clan, but tae me, he is a villain. Did ye ever give any thought tae the people he attacked? Did ye think that they deserved it?”

“He would only hae attacked people who were threatening him.”

“We were protecting our land.”

“Sae was he!” she turned fully towards him now, eyes blazing, arms stretched beside her.

Caroline’s entire body rose and fell with heavy breaths. Her skin was flushed. Ryan felt heat surging through his limbs. His blood moved swiftly through his body, like wind that was agitated by a storm. This situation would have been much better had Caroline accepted her position meekly, but then she would have been a shadow of herself. They stared at each other for a few moments. Then, Ryan waved his hand through the air and sank back to the bed.

“Bah, ye are never gaeing tae understand.”

“Then help me tae understand. Tell me what’s gaeing on. Tell me why ye think Da was murdered.”