Page 301 of Operation: Defiance

The kiss leaves him breathless, but he smiles up at me, one hand on my breast, the other snaking between my thighs. “We are not most people.”

He isn’t wrong.

Shifting my weight to reach the hem of his shirt, he lifts his arms to help without a word. I trace the lines of him—shoulders, chest, the landscape of muscles I know so well. He lost too much weight recovering from everything GSD put him through, and he’s only now starting to work out again. It’s slow progress, but it’s progress, and we’re both still here. That matters.

I skim my fingers close to the scar at his side. It’s still tender. I know by how his breath changes if he leans against the counter wrong or reaches for something on a high shelf in the kitchen. So I trace around it, not over it.

My eyes start to burn. I could have lost him. My hand flattens over the scar before I can stop it, and I swallow a sob.

Asher slides his fingers into my hair. “I’m here, Raine. We’re both still here.”

I lean down and kiss him. Slower this time. My tongue tangles with his, and a rush of heat floods my core. I want this. Want him.

My lips blaze a trail along his jaw, down his neck, to his chest. I know the taste of him now. Every part of him.

Asher slides his hands up my bare thighs, hooks his fingers around the waistband of my underwear, and tugs gently. “These are going to be in the way before too long,” he says with a wicked smile.

“They already are.” I rise to my knees, pull off my sleep shirt, and wriggle out of the simple cotton panties. The position lets him shed his briefs, and the salty tang of his arousal fills the small bedroom—our bedroom—before I fit my naked body to his.

“I think…” My next words aren’t easy, but I need them, desperately. “I want to try something.”

Asher stills. “Anything.”

My breath catches once, and my heart pounds against my ribs. “You…on top.”

“Raine—”

“I’m not scared.” I kiss him again, wrapping my hand around his shaft. Asher shudders in my grip, and a groan rumbles in his chest as I release him, then bring my fingers to my lips, tasting him. “You’ll know if it’s too much. You always know.”

He tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, his gaze searching mine. Whatever he finds there must convince him, because he nods. “If you need to stop⁠—”

“I’ll tell you. I promise.”

One of the nights we were both battered by too many bad memories to sleep, we talked about those two little words. We agreed Doc, Natasha, and Inara were right. They mean something—everything.

I roll onto my back, urging him to follow by cupping his neck. Asher reaches for a condom, rolls it over his length, and positions himself over me.

I’m not scared. I keep my gaze on his deep blue eyes as he slides deep in a single thrust. Bracing one hand on the headboard and the other by my ear, he manages to avoid pinning me down with anything but his hips. I stroke my fingers up his arms, relishing the feel of his skin.

“Still okay?” he asks.

I wrap my legs around him, my heels digging into his ass. “Yes. Because it’s you, Asher. And I choose you. Every single day, I choose you.”

My world narrows to the feel of him. The way he scores his teeth over the tight buds of my nipples. His warm, steady breath. The rasp of his stubble against my cheek when he kisses my neck.

The pressure builds deep in my core. A tight, insistent need. For all of him.

After another thrust, he dips his head to claim my mouth in a searing kiss, and shifts his weight enough to reach between us and find my clit.

The touch drives me closer and closer to the edge, and when I fall, he tumbles with me.

Later, we lie tangled together, my leg thrown over his, his arm around my back, fingers absently tracing patterns he’s learned won’t make me flinch. My body doesn’t argue with me as much when I’m with him. And when the nightmares come—for either of us—we find solace and understanding in one another.

Tomorrow, maybe I’ll venture out to that ceramic shop and see if they really do have a mug in the shape of a sloth.

I’m almost asleep when both our phones buzz at the same time.

I lift my head just enough to check the screen.