Page 165 of Operation: Defiance

“Can you—” She swallows hard, then tries again. “Can you touch me?”

“Yes. Where? How?”

She looks down at her fingers. They’re still shaking. “I need…your hand.”

I slide closer—slowly—until I’m right next to her, then lay my hand, palm up, on my knee.

She doesn’t move. One second. Two. Three. And then she places her hand in mine.

The change is immediate. Her shoulders sag. Her entire body shudders, the tension bleeding out of her as she squeezes my fingers.

I don’t tighten my grip. I let her lead. “There you are,” I say softly.

She nods. Exhaustion crashes through her all at once. Her head dips forward, chin nearly hitting her chest.

“I’m so tired,” she whispers.

“I know. Let’s get you off the floor.”

I shift and help her up slowly, keeping our hands linked, guiding her to the couch. Her legs aren’t steady. She doesn’t sit so much as collapse into the cushions.

“Better?” I ask.

“A little. I’m…really cold.” Her eyes meet mine. God, the fear in them breaks me open. “I want more contact.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Adjust however you need.”

She pins her gaze to our joined hands where her fingers still twitch uncontrollably, though the tremors are starting to settle. An inch at a time, she shifts closer.

“Your arm. Back of the couch. I want…your other hand.”

I don’t hesitate. The motion tugs on the old shoulder injury, but I don’t care. I’d leave my arm there for the rest of the day if she asked.

Carefully, she leans into my side. Her breathing evens out. Not all at once, but in stages. The shaking eases, and she lets her head tip against my shoulder.

“The cold is just the adrenaline fading. It’ll stop in a few minutes.”

“Know I’m not back…there,” she murmurs. “Body hasn’t caught up yet.”

The music plays on. Raine closes her eyes. I don’t move. Don’t wrap my arm around her. Don’t tighten my fingers on hers. My job isn’t to save her. It’s to steady her while she’s saving herself.

Time stretches on. Minutes. Maybe half an hour. She’s not asleep. Not deeply, anyway. Just under enough for her body to reset. To find its balance again.

My left arm has gone numb. This is going to hurt like a son of a bitch when I eventually move.

It’s worth the pain. She’s worth the pain.

Raine stirs, one last shudder working its way through her body. “I’m…steady,” she murmurs. “Here.”

“Good. I’m not going anywhere. Not unless you tell me to.”

Her fingers tighten on mine. Just once. “They’re looking for Mason Locke. That’s what…triggered me. Inara asked about the name, and I started to spiral. I couldn’t get the music back on. And everything…fell apart. I wasn’t ready for them to come after you.”

Fuck.

“We knew it would happen.” I keep my voice steady, but I’m already working through the steps I need to take to burn that alias to the ground.

“We did. But it’s too soon.” She shifts enough to look at me, but not enough to break contact. “I don’t have enough to go public yet. If I’m—if we’re—going to stop them, I have to understand the system. All of it.”

The urge to get her a new identity and whisk her out of the country hits hard enough I brace for a beat. But this is her op to run. “Tell me what you need. Where you want me. How I can help. I’m in this with you, Raine. Till the end.”