Page 69 of Grant’s Blaze

I gripped the back of my neck again and held on for at least a minute while Rio and I stared at each other. If she thought she was going to intimidate me with the dirty looks she was surfing my way, she had another think coming. Why the hell would self-preservation be where she chose to dig in? It didn’t make sense to me.

“I was kept in their cargo hold the entire time, never taken above deck or to any other part of the boat. They came in on a few occasions to give me food and water.” I cringed, but she needed to hear this part too, so she understood how deplorable the conditions were. “If I had to relieve myself, I had to do it in there too. In the corner. Like an animal.”

“There wasn’t a bathroom in there?” she asked, horrified.

I just shook my head, disgusted and embarrassed by the admission.

“Oh.” She thought about it for a few beats, then twisted her face when she realized what that really meant. She hugged me carefully and said into my chest, “Babe, I’m so sorry you had to go through all that.”

Nuzzling into the top of her hair, I smelled her floral shampoo and smiled. That damn jasmine smell would forever be my comfort smell now that this woman ruled my world.

“Yeah, well, that’s not the worst of it.”

“Oh no. Grant, what else?”

I explained how they cracked me in the head and drugged me repeatedly. “Dr. Mallory at Cedars said it will take some time to get back to normal,” I concluded. “Things like my memory and temper. But it should all be okay in time.”

But Rio came back with more questions. “What about therapy? What about some sort of trauma or PTSD support group or something? I mean, Grant…after that dream last night…there has to be more to this story.” She looked at me skeptically.

“Yeah, unfortunately, I’m just getting to that part.” I gripped my neck and rubbed up into my hairline. God, the tension stacked up, brick upon brick, until my muscles felt like a solid wall.

“Oh no.” She cradled her face in her hands. “I was afraid of that.” After she looked up, she waved both hands toward her body. “Okay, lay it on me.”

“The cargo they were transporting…” I paused, unable to think of a gentle way to say it, so I just blurted out the truth. “Well, these folks were moving bodies out into the middle of the ocean and dumping them where no one would ever find them.”

“Bodies,” she repeated.

“Yes, bodies. Dead human bodies.”

“Grant.” She paled and shook her head. “Fuck.”

“I know. Trust me, I know.”

“So were there bodies in that cargo hold with you while you were in there? Oh God, please tell me they had already dumped their load.”

“No, it was pretty full. I was the only living thing in there. Well, me and the rats.” I shivered and my stomach roiled.

“Oh my God. I am so sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I keep saying that, and it sounds so stupid now.”

“It’s fine, love. I know it’s not easy to listen to all of this. It’s not easy to tell you. Trust me. If I could’ve gotten by without having to put this shit into your mind, I would’ve. But last night—well, yeah. Last night.” I waved my hand through the air as if that helped explain it.

“Please don’t keep things from me. Ever. Life isn’t always easy. It isn’t always neat and tidy with a pretty bow on it. But if we’re going to do this”—she motioned back and forth between her heart and mine—“then we have to promise to be open and honest. I can’t be in a relationship where it’s any other way.”

“I understand that.” I nodded solemnly.

“Do you?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, because you just tried to play it another way. So, your instinct is to not be open and honest. And seriously, Grant, that’s concerning.”

She walked away from me then and started shuffling papers on the desk beside me. I waited for her to look at me again, but she just kept doing the mindless busywork.

“Hey. Blaze, look at me, please.”

She turned toward me, still mid eye roll while doing so.

“What the hell is that for?”