Page 92 of Fatal Fantasy

Now, we’re rebuilding Emory, leading our Family out from under the complete devastation my father left in his wake, and placing roots right where we belong.

For a while after my father died, I had no idea what purpose my life had.

I’ve heard the tale from Jasper and Tyson, the way I behaved in the moments after his death, and although I don’t remember everything that happened, I know that I almost died, and that’s a place I never want to be again.

When his body turned cold, I felt completely empty, something I’d never experienced before, and I was willing to hand myself over to his men just to save Jasper and Tyson from dying, afraid that if I lost anything else, I’d crumble to dust.

Unbeknownst to me, Jasper launched two grenades at the men who were loyal to my father, blowing them to bits, and if I weren’t trapped in a post-murder trance, I would’ve become one with the sand, too.

Somehow, my body acted on autopilot and I wandered into the middle of the road, a mere ten feet away from the blast zone, the strike missing me by only a hair, and after the explosion, Tyson found me unconscious, but those memories, along with the first few hours after waking up, are still hazy.

Of course, I endured the lecture of a lifetime from Jasper and Tyson, and even though we’re piecing a crime Family back together, I’m no longer allowed to negotiate, if it ever comes down to that, because according to them: I’m too reckless, have a massive savior complex, and am too fucking stubborn for my own good.

Personally, I think I’m just a product of the way I was raised, unable to back down from a fight, or surrender, but no matter what you call it, I’m just thankful to be alive.

It took a lot for me to get to a mindset where I truly wanted to live, and now, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to see another sunrise, to go through the motions of an average day, and wind down alongside the sun as it sets.

“That’s your cue, sis!” Alivia pops her head into the suite, ripping me from my thoughts as the song I chose to accompany me down the aisle begins to play, and I’m rushed into place by Vanessa, the oldest Masseria sister, while Alivia fixes my hair.

I’ve never had sisters before, the family I had back on the West Coast becoming dead to me the second my father’s body was buried six feet into the dirt, but as I hold this bouquet in my hands and look to my right, there is something missing.

My father was complex to say the least, his motives surrounding my adult life equally as extreme as they were disgusting, but I’m still just a girl, wishing her Daddy was here to walk her down the aisle.

It’s painful, not having him here, like a hole inside of me that’ll never fully close, but the therapist I speak with on a weekly basis has coached me through this, reminding me that it’s okay to miss him.

I’ll never admit it, though, because the things he did were absolutely unacceptable, so instead, I stuff that emotional baggage down, leaving it at the door as I prepare to become a wife to the two best husbands a girl could wish for.

Right on cue, the doors to the venue swing open, and I catch a glimpse at my grooms, both of them waiting for me at the end of aisle, just as I requested, but looking so much fucking sexier than I could’ve imagined.

Whenever I see my boys in suits, I melt like my bones are made of hot lava, but tonight, they’ve gone all out, their matching black suits accentuating every muscle in their bodies.

Tyson’s jewelry shimmers under the venue’s lighting, and while Jasper has worn a jacket, he left the tie loose, and the top two buttons of his shirt open, proving that some things never change, even when so much else has.

The second I step into view, they both break down, not even bothering to hide their emotions, but I’ve been on the verge of tears all day, the idea of being worthy enough to marry scaring the absolute fuck out of me.

Now that I’ve been out in the real world, and out from under my father’s thumb, I’ve learned how to deal with true feelings, things like fear, anxiety, and a lack of confidence that I’d experienced previously in my life, but was never able to vocalize or work through.

Some of those thoughts are pesky, meant to bring me down, but shoving them aside isn’t a healthy coping mechanism, and although crying is new to me, I’ve opened myself up to the idea of vulnerability, which is exactly what tears on your wedding day is.

Luckily, three of us are doing this together, learning as we go, but as I stroll down the aisle, we’re all crying, the pure beauty in this moment bringing out the sides of ourselves we were taught to never let show.

It’s healing, and with Tyson and Jasper beside me, I’ve been on the most rewarding of personal growth journeys.

“You wore that just to kill me, didn’t you Principessina?” Jasper whispers as I step onto the altar, meeting his gaze for the first time, the tear streaks on his cheeks only reminding me of the monumental step we’re all taking.

“You’ve never looked more beautiful, Carter,” Tyson adds, kissing me on the cheek as he takes my hand in his, turning our attention to the officiant.

As he speaks about love, trust, and the sacred bond of marriage, I reminisce on everything we’ve been through, the tumultuous relationship bringing a smile to my face as the last few years blow through my mind at rapid speed, some memories good, some not the best, but all culminating into one beautiful montage.

“Jasper, do you take Carter to be your wife, until death do you part?” The vows begin, and I hold my breath, waiting for two little words that will turn this from a ceremony, to a commitment.

“I do, in every single lifetime,” he replies, a playful grin on his face as he quotes himself from the very first time he confessed his feelings for me.

“Tyson, do you take Carter to be your wife, until death do you part?” The officiant asks, and he barely breathes, turning toward me with so much emotion in his eyes, I can feel his love for me running from his soul, straight into mine.

“I do, wholeheartedly,” he chokes out, the tears falling down his cheeks once again, but he leaves them be, enhancing this moment beyond my wildest dreams.

Today, I’m nothing but a princess, standing in front of the two princes that saved her life, vowed to care for her in every single realm of the universe, and have pledged to do so until their very last breath.