Page 42 of Fatal Fantasy

Selfishly, I wish there was another topic I could use, something else that would lift the weight of the world off her shoulders, but while we’re on the run, we’re still far away from a place where the trauma can be buried.

“Are you sure you’d be able to go through with it?” She questions, her icy blue eyes staring at me, her gaze cutting through the darkness like tiny, sparkling diamonds.

“Yes.” I barely let her finish that sentence, my absolute certainty the only thing I can offer to ease her worries.

“You could look me in my eyes and pull that trigger? Jasper, we may only have seconds, and I need you to be sure,” she says, a storm raging in her mind, the possibilities endless, but I know what I’m capable of.

I’ve killed countless men, been able to switch off a part in my brain that resembles a conscious, and pull the trigger without a care in the world.

We’re only forty-eight hours removed from when I almost did the same thing in that tunnel, even when I was staring into the eyes of the woman I love.

I’m not God, and I don’t plan on pretending to be, but if the time comes where I have to do something so heinous, I’m more than prepared to become the worst possible version of myself – for her.

“I’ll shoot you, Carter. Then, I’ll turn the gun on myself, because I can’t live without you. If you die, I’m right behind you.” A red light forces me to hit the brakes, but I turn to face my girl, stealing a second to give her all of my attention.

She’s stubborn, especially when she’s in deep thought, but I force her to look at me, tugging at her shoulder until she finally concedes.

“Jasper, I fucking forbid you from killing yourself in my name,” she spits, a darkness overtaking her blue irises, and when my name rolls off her tongue, I know she means business.

Unfortunately for her, the request she placed solely on my shoulders comes with my own terms, and I’m not backing down.

“Then I won’t do it for you. Do you think I could live with myself if I ended your life? You’re my sun, moon, and stars, Principessina, but do you think I could honestly pull that trigger, watch the blood drain from your body and then turn around and face Tyson?”

While Tyson is fully aware of my plans – if we get to this point – it doesn’t make this responsibility any less hard, and while I’m confident in what I can do, I also know what I can’t.

Looking into Tyson’s eyes, after having to kill Carter in cold blood, is the one thing I could never do.

Hurting him, ripping the soul from his body and stomping on its remains would be the marquee of my crimes, the headline every time my name is spoken aloud, and I’d never have the guts to meet his gaze after committing the cruelest act of betrayal.

“Kill him, too.” Carter drops a bomb in my lap, and I can barely take a breath, let alone form a proper sentence.

“What?” I’m completely dumbfounded, spitting out the first word that comes to mind in response to the craziest thing she’s ever said.

“Shoot Tyson, too. I don’t want to live without either of you,” she repeats herself, in the same monotone voice, showing how dead serious she is.

Rather than argue, I choose to accept her pleas, because how could we both leave Tyson alone on this Earth after all he did to bring us back together?

Ride or die – that’s what this always has been, and always will be.

“Carter, this is fucking morbid,” I laugh, breaking through the heaviness, and leaving the talk of death exactly where we left it.

“You love it, my big scary devil,” she teases, using my unique brand of coming up with a new nickname for her on the spot against me.

In a split second she switches from the depths of despair, to playful and energetic, the small giggles in her voice bringing a smile to my face.

“You think you’re cute?” I tickle her ribs with my free hand, causing her to squirm until she manages to wrangle my fingers in between her thighs, keeping me in place as she squeezes her legs together.

“I know I am, and that’s why I know you’ll honor my wishes, ending our story in the most poetic way,” she says, releasing her grip and intertwining our fingers together, leaving gentle kisses on my knuckles.

“You’re lucky I love you, Principessina.”

And I do love her.

More than I ever thought was possible, so much so, that for one final time, I’d morph into the trained killer I was born to be and become the absolute worst version of myself.

I love Carter so fucking deeply that I’d kill her – in order to save her life.

It’s sick, twisted, and utterly insane, but it’s perfectly in tune with everything our relationship has been since the moment we met.