Page 39 of Fatal Fantasy

Now, as the life slowly circulates back through my veins, my faith in humanity is being restored, all because I veered from my goals, and allowed two people to see inside the depths of my mind.

There was a time where I never thought that I was capable of feeling love, or receiving it, but now that I have, I plan to hold onto it, and fight the demons that are living inside of my head – if only to give the boys I care so deeply for the best pieces of me.

After everything I put them through with my lies, it’s what they deserve, and then some.

I’m convinced that I haven’t done enough to earn their grace, or forgiveness, but they’ve handed it over without asking for a single thing in return, proving that the most powerful form of human emotion is love, and it’s more important than anything in this world.

Falling for the off-limits mafia boys was the easy part, though, and I know that day in and day out, this is something I need to pour every ounce of my soul into, even when it’s scary, or seems too hard.

The trauma left behind by my father is a still-fresh wound, but hearing Tyson and Jasper talk about my PTSD only opened my eyes, forcing me to realize that living with what he did to me is going to haunt the rest of my days, but I refuse to let it get the best of me.

As hard as it might be, working toward a place where I can show my skin, or get under a shower head, is my top priority, if only to keep the boys who make life worth living, happy.

They once had a different version of me, one who was proud of her body, and fearless in the face of adversity, but I’ll be damned if that’s not the person they get for the rest of their lives.

Before they rescued me, I was living to die, solely breathing until the moment my lungs gave out and my organs failed, but now, I’ve adjusted my reasoning, choosing to live for Jasper and Tyson.

Thankfully, there’s nothing better to do on a roadtrip than reflect, and while the boys mindlessly sing along with the radio, thinking I’m asleep, I’m finally thinking through things rationally, without fear of retribution, or being afraid of someone else’s next moves.

I’ve always been safe inside my mind, but now, I feel safe outside of it, too.

Still, the uneasiness in my bones begins to grow, and although I try to be sneaky while checking the clock, Tyson is immediately clued into the fact that I’m awake, winking at me in the mirror, but choosing to let me continue pretending.

With fifteen minutes until the ransom email is scheduled to be sent, I can feel my anxiety growing, knowing that once my father opens the files, it’s game on.

We’re getting a head start, but as soon as he’s on a level playing field, all bets are off, and I know he’ll burn down the world to find me, even if only to keep me prisoner.

“What’s on your mind, baby girl?” Tyson cuts through the silence, turning to face me as he parks the car at a gas pump.

Taking a quick glance at our surroundings, I hadn’t even noticed we slowed down, or stopped, proving how far down the rabbit hole I fell in my own mind.

“Just thinking about getting better. I don’t want to live in fear, or hold the good parts of myself hostage because I’m weighed down by the bad,” I answer honestly, and he smiles at my words as if he’s proud of me, a feeling so good that it couldn’t possibly be imitated or replaced.

“You’re stronger than any man I’ve ever encountered, Principessina. If anyone can come back from the shit you went through, it’s you.” Jasper reaches for my hand, lacing our fingers together and pressing a soft kiss on my knuckles.

“The way you two love me, and believe in me, will be what saves me. I’m sure of it,” I say, my eyes shifting between theirs, while they both stare at me with looks of adoration on their faces.

“Come on, let’s get you some snacks.” Tyson rips the keys from the ignition, making his way out of the driver’s seat and opening the door for me, holding out his hand until mine meets his.

First he stretches, kicking his legs back and forth to regain blood flow, and my heart feels like it’s going to explode, but then he decides to leave the cane, attempting to take the short trek without assistance.

Jasper and I exchange a silent glance, surrounding him on each side as we catch up to his pace, but allowing him the grace to do this on his own.

“I’m not going to fall over, you can relax,” he says, not directed at either of us in particular, but feeling our protectiveness without Jasper or I having to utter a single word.

“You’ve got this, I believe in you,” I whisper, stroking his arm gently as he opens the door for me, the bells jingling overhead as we cross the threshold.

We all split up, choosing our own snacks and drinks, while the boys take turns using the bathroom, likely to ensure someone always has eyes on me in public.

Rather than rush, I take my time, picking out a few candy bars and a bag of chips, not really finding myself with an appetite.

The clock is ticking, the deadline fast approaching, and I know that once we get back in the car, we’ll have a response from my father, turning this from a fun little road trip, back into a battle for survival and freedom.

Just as I begin to spiral, an arm snakes around my waist, and I look up to see Tyson smiling down at me, his dark eyes sparkling as they meet mine.

“Massi’s going to drive for a while, care for some company in the back?” He smirks, trailing his hand along my midsection, the subtle movement igniting a fire of goosebumps littered along my skin.

“Snuggling with you, while we let the demon of the road drive, sounds like a perfect way to die,” I joke, and Jasper joins us at the register, rolling his eyes at my comment.