Page 14 of Fatal Fantasy

I’ve thought about moving on, rejoining society and learning how to live a life that doesn’t include being the only living namesake of a crime Family, but instead, I’ve dedicated all my time to finding my white whale.

Carter Cassini is the one who got away.

Carter Cassini is the one who consumes my thoughts, whether I’m awake or asleep.

Carter Cassini is the one who destroyed me in places I wasn’t aware that were breakable, and I’m still trying to put them back together in order to make me whole.

“Massi!” A knock on the door rips me from my thoughts, shocking me to my core as I jump at the familiarity, almost positive that I must be dreaming.

He’s not supposed to be released from the facility for two more days, but sure enough, when I peek through the peephole, it’s my brother’s face staring back at me.

“Ty, what the hell?” I snap, shaking my head as he staggers into the room with a cane, but more than elated to finally see him walking on two feet with my own eyes.

It’s been a month since the last time I’ve seen him, the frustration of physical therapy breaking down the resilient kid I grew up with, and replacing him with a person who almost resembled a skeleton.

As much as it killed me to see him that way, I never gave up on him, and I knew that this day would come because he’s too damn proud to let a bullet be the reason he can’t live the life he wants.

Seeing him upright has a smile permanently stained on my face, even though he looks exhausted, the relief washing over his face as he drops into a chair, his attitude screaming business while I’m just happy to see him.

We’ve never been separated for so long, but if he let me, I’d have been there every step of the way, screaming in his face and motivating him everyday, but in true Tyson form, he wanted to do it on his own.

I could only support him from afar, and the three times he allowed me to visit were just not enough. It’s surreal, having him back in my space, and I rush to soak it all in before he drops the inevitable bomb in my lap that he’s more than likely equipped with.

Appropriately, we don’t talk too much about Carter, solely because I haven’t wanted to set back his recovery, but when I do need a minute or so to vent, he listens.

I’m not the only one who lost her that night, but as the person who saw her being compliant, giving out orders, and behaving like she ran those men, I hold much more animosity toward her than he does.

He’s always advocated that we give her the benefit of the doubt, but in my mind, there isn’t a thing she can say that will erase the betrayal, or justify what she did to us.

She’s an SOS – shoot on sight – and I’ll happily carry out that order as the last mission for the Masseria Family before I dismantle its rule for good.

“I have a few things to tell you, Massi.” He folds his hands in his lap as if this were a business meeting, rather than a welcome home party, and I sigh, wondering what it is he’s hiding up his sleeve.

I’ve known Tyson my entire life, and he doesn’t lie well, but right now, whatever’s on the tip of his tongue is weighing him down, to the point where I have to listen while he absolves his conscious.

“Well, let’s start with why you’re in Jersey, instead of the facility?” I question, hoping that he hasn’t bailed on his recovery and is just taking a break.

All the money we pooled to run away has gone towards his physical therapy, leaving us nearly broke, but it’s for the only cause I believe in.

As for me, I know I haven’t been taking care of myself, and for the last six months all I’ve done is sit here, wallowing in sadness, chasing a fucking ghost that I’m convinced is the only way to move on from what we went through.

“I lied to you. I left Connecticut last week, and have been in California,” he confesses, crossing the room and grabbing each of us a beer, popping the tops off with the ring on his middle finger.

“California? Fucking California … you saw Carter?” I narrow my eyes, instantly consumed with rage at the thought of him crossing the country, and finding her so damn easily, whereas I’ve been struggling to get a decent lead for months.

My vision instantly turns red, I want to rip him to shreds, to peel the layers of his skin away from the muscles, but at the same time, he’s my brother, and the only other person who knew Carter like I did – or at least became proficient in the parts she allowed us to know.

“Yeah, I saw her,” he answers, swigging from the beer bottle casually, as if this isn’t life-altering news, pretending that anything regarding Carter is just regular old gossip.

“You did what?” My voice raises, my resolve slipping as my hands ball into fists, the overwhelming urge to put them through the drywall taking over.

“I saw her, Massi. I had to judge her story for myself, and I’m telling you right now … she’s in trouble.” He drops his head, a somber look in his eyes, but I chalk that up to seeing the devil herself, knowing how easy it’d be for her to manipulate him into believing her in an instant.

“Good. That’ll make it easier for us to kill her.” I shrug, not interested in the sob story as to why she’s innocent, or the bullshit reasons why we should spare her life.

Carter tried to kill us all without a second thought, so him seeing her, and letting her get into his mind, only pisses me off more, encouraging the beast within me to come out to play.

“No, you don’t understand. She has bruises and scars on her arms, and is being forced into marrying someone in three weeks. We have to save her.” He rarely lets his emotions play out on his face, but he truly does believe in what he’s saying, so much so, that when a few tears slip down his cheeks, he doesn’t even bother hiding it.