Page 97 of Diary of a Mafia Princess

I couldn’t forget that Lynx by my side was the only thing that felt good.

That wanting him had spilled over into bad decisions.

My asshole uncle catching us and blackmailing me.

Owing Enzo Guerra a favor wasn’t a position anyone should want to be in. It was one I would have never in a million years entered into willingly.

But my father finding out that I was into guys was a lot worse.

I hadn’t missed his whole showdown with Dax. How he’d questioned his sexuality when he’d attempted to turn down a woman gifted to him by my father.

You didn’t say no to Carlos Guerra. As Dax had found out. As I had realized a long time ago.

I’d fucked more than my fair share of women because my father had told me to. I’d been barely sixteen when the first one had pulled out my cock, lifted her skirt, and taken my virginity.

It had been over in seconds, and my father and uncles had laughed as I’d flamed with embarrassment, knowing I’d done the whole thing wrong but not exactly knowing why.

The woman, much older than me, and one my father and his friends had all shared in front of me more than once, had simply patted my cheek like I was a lost cause and put her panties back in place.

There had been others after her, each experience no more pleasurable for me than the last, though I’d learned to control myself better, and eventually, when my father had pushed women at me, I’d learned to just close my eyes and fuck them, because it pleased him to see his son strong and virile.

But I’d only ever fucked men for pleasure.

Part of me knew it had started as a rebellion. That I’d sought out men because my father hated gays and had never been quiet about it. But then I’d found I liked it, and if things had been different, maybe I would have openly identified as a gay man.

At least until Nyah had walked into my life, with her sweet fucking curves, all naked in my bed.

For the first time in my life, I’d felt a real attraction to a woman.

“It’s because you can’t have her,” I muttered to the ceiling. “That’s the only reason.”

I didn’t let myself think too hard about whether that was actually true or not.

It was so much easier to think about Lynx and how turned on I’d been when his cock had been in my mouth.

Only now my family had ruined that for me too.

I was so sick of all of them.

As soon as the sun peeked through the window, I was up and down in the gym, running on the treadmill at a pace so punishing I stumbled off and dry retched at the end.

“Luca?” a small voice asked from the doorway.

I snapped my head up, gaze colliding with Nyah’s.

After last night, my uncle finding me in a vulnerable position with Lynx, the last thing I needed was another fucking person finding me as anything other than the Mafia prince my father had raised me to be. “What are you doing down here?” I snapped, clutching at a sweat towel while my stomach turned in seasick circles, threatening to spill whatever was left undigested from last night’s dinner.

Nyah ignored my crabby tone and came into the gym, perching her peach-shaped ass on the weight bench and staring at me doubled over, hugging a wastepaper basket.

“It’s Virginia’s day off, and I came down to get some fresh towels.”

The laundry was on the same basement level as the gym, and so I pointed at the wall that joined the two rooms. “Over there.”

She didn’t move, but I couldn’t fight the nausea in my gut any longer either. I gagged again, holding my bin to my chest as my stomach again threatened to erupt.

Nyah shook her head, like I was being ridiculous, and crossed the room to the kitchenette in the corner of the gym. It was little more than a refrigerator and a bowl of protein bars, but she took a bottle of water from the fridge and cracked some ice cubes from the freezer section into a clean gym towel neatly folded on the countertop, and then brought both to me. “Here.”

It was so built into me not to accept help from anyone. Accepting help meant you couldn’t do it alone, and that made you weak. I shook my head, pushing the offering away. “I’m fine. Just overdid it.”