Page 16 of Diary of a Mafia Princess

I would never truly be free. I’d been so freshly reminded that it was impossible to think otherwise. If I didn’t play my father’s games, abide by his rules, do exactly what I was told like a good little Mafia princess, then it was Dax who’d pay the price for my insolence. And if I managed to convince Dax to leave his tattoo shop, his friends, his family behind and come hide somewhere with me, then my father would just work his way down the list of people I cared about. It was short—Violet was really the only friend I had—but she couldn’t up and run. She had two small kids she’d just adopted, and she was pregnant too.

I doubted my father would stop there. My brother and cousins probably wouldn’t be beyond his reach if he got desperate enough to make me behave.

I shook my head. “Of course I’m here because I want to be. It’s an honor to be marrying into the Guerra family.”

Repeating the words my father had screamed at me burned my tongue, and I instantly wanted to take them back.

But I’d made my bed. Now I was going to have to lie in it.

Lynx still seemed like he didn’t quite believe me, so I turned around before he could see the truth in my eyes. I blinked them fast to keep tears from welling there. “So, which one is Mr. Guerra’s bedroom?”

He gazed down the long hallways at the array of closed doors. “Honestly, I have no idea. They didn’t exactly give me a guided tour or a map when I got here earlier.”

“Me neither. So I guess we’re just going to have to use our powers of deduction.” I pushed open the next door and stepped into the bedroom.

The vibe was completely different than the room I’d been given.

This bedroom was quite the opposite of the neutral-toned, impersonal guest room. The walls were such dark charcoal gray that they were almost black. The bed frame was sleek, gunmetal silver, and the comforter, neatly made, was midnight. I moved to the closet and pulled it open to find a walk-in space filled to the brim with expensive suits and shiny dress shoes. “That’s more like it,” I muttered, nodding to myself.

Someone actually lived in this room.

I strode through the closet to the bathroom on the other side. Impeccably clean, as was the rest of the house. But a toothbrush sat in the holder, and a black towel hung neatly from a railing.

Back in the bedroom, my eye caught on a small, framed photo on a bookshelf behind Lynx’s shoulder.

I recognized Carlos Guerra and his offspring instantly. It was an older photo. I was sure of that because I’d heard through the grapevine that Carlos’s children had left at least a year ago and hadn’t been seen since. I couldn’t remember either of their names, but it didn’t exactly fill me with hope that even his own family didn’t want to be around this man.

This man I was going to have to be around every day for the rest of my life.

I pushed the thought away before it could consume me. If I thought about it too long, I’d be on my knees in a heap, falling to pieces.

I didn’t get the luxury of doing that. I was going to be a mother. Securing this baby’s safety was all that mattered now.

I focused on Lynx. “Leave my things here. This has to be his room.”

He nodded, putting the bags down. “Do you want some help unpacking?”

I could have used it. There was a lot to unpack. My father’s maid had packed every single one of my belongings into those bags, as well as a whole wardrobe of clothes my mother had bought for me, insisting my ripped jeans and miniskirts weren’t suitable attire for a woman about to marry.

I was quite sure I was going to cry and I didn’t want anyone to see that. “No. Thank you. I’ll be fine. Do you know when Mr. Guerra will return?”

“Goon One and Two said he’d be home tonight.” Lynx shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Do you want anything? I don’t know where the kitchen is, but I could try to find it if you’re hungry? Surely this place has a maid or a cook or something on staff.”

It very likely did. But I had no appetite.

Not when I knew what I had to do.

And that it had to be tonight, before I talked myself out of it.

I shook my head at Lynx. “No, thank you. I think I’m just going to unpack and then go to bed early. It’s been kind of an emotional day.”

He didn’t appear terribly happy about me not eating, but he said nothing. “I won’t disturb you then. I’m only scheduled on for a few more hours anyway, so I probably won’t see you until tomorrow.”

I cringed at that knowledge. If the Guerras had Lynx guarding me, presumably, there’d be someone else taking his place. Probably someone who had been around longer and might not like that I’d just taken advantage of Lynx having no idea what he was supposed to be doing.

“Lynx,” I asked as he got to the doorway. “If I promise to stay in my room like they want me to, could you do me a favor?”

He looked a little wary, but he nodded. “Sure, I guess so.”